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#1 [Private] The First on Fri Jun 08, 2018 6:01 am

Mei T

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Mei's 4th Squad
She had all but been ready to join the Espada, since she heard that they were fierce, they were many like she, and they were able to possibly accept her. Except, she didn't know if she was ready just yet. She wasn't sure what they were like, what they could do, and what they would possibly do to her. Besides, she wanted to know her shortly lived freedom. She wanted to learn about this new world, if only for a moment.

The sky was dark, but the city was lit to the very top of the tallest building with lights. She sat atop one of the smaller buildings, as she legs dangled over the side. She could hear the business of the surprisingly lively city. People, transportation, music, and other noises that weren't quite coherent over the louder sounds. Her eyes were filled with lights, interactions between people, human items, and many more miraculous objects that were all knew to her. Yet, she still felt that something was missing. She was alone for the first time in ages but it wasn't very satisfying oddly enough. Well, she could cross alone time off her list of things that could potentially fill the gap inside her.


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#2 Re: [Private] The First on Sat Jun 09, 2018 10:43 am

Marching his way through streets littered with people going about their business, Hagane observed the passing people and wondered how they could be so happy and casual. Hagane hadn't gone into his berserk state for at least a few days, which was good, since his mental condition had been getting worse. As the days passed by, he could feel himself slowly giving into his other side. Giving into his uncontrollable hatred. Ever since his sisters death, Hagane wasn't sure as to whether or not he should just let his rage take a hold of him. Somewhere deep inside him however, there was still a fragment of his old self. A fragment that prevented him from doing so.

Time likes these were good for Hagane, being able to walk endlessly and piece together fragments of his mind. The world spun slowly through Hagane's eyes, blurred and yet so clear. The beautiful lights of the city reflected from his eyes as he mindlessly kept walking and walking and walking. Until in the corner of his eye he spotted a figure sitting upon the roof of a building. He abruptly stopped, standing out among the crowd of people as he focused on the individual. Hagane shouldn't have cared one bit, but curiosity took a hold of him. He would then begin to sink into the ground, preparing himself to traverse the building. Making his way through the building via it's cement support columns, Hagane would find himself on the roof of said building looking into the direction of the strange figure. Hagane took a few steps towards the unknown individual that was sitting over the side of the building, as he looked around and saw the lights of the city emanating out.

"Beautiful lights, aren't they?", Hagane would say looking out into the stretched horizon of lights.


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#3 Re: [Private] The First on Sat Jun 09, 2018 11:06 am

Mei T

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She hadn't noticed him among the many bodies, as they all just seemed so far away from her. They all seemed so pure, simple, and happy, although she jnew that couldn't possibly be true. Well, it wasn't a sin to dream right? Her eyes would transverse the block once more as she continued to take in the beauty of the atmosphere right down to the last drop, yet she still didn't think she was close enough to reach it. She was in it, she was covered by it, and she was a small piece of this city in this moment. However, she felt more above the world than living within.

As she thought about her place, a voice would reach its way to her ears causing her to jump slightly. She would turn around with a sense of urgency before she would find her sights set upon a man. Hm? She wondered how he had found his way to her, she wondered why he was speaking to her, but most if all she wondered if she was safe around him. Well, she wouldn't know unless she tried to understand him. "Oh, they are unlike anything I've seen before," she would speak softly and timidly, while still trying to sound friendly. She would look out at the lights again before smiling, "Traveling was never a freedom of mine. I just wanted to enjoy it for only a little while," she would speak without actually caring what it made her sound like. Except, she did catch herself and realize she was a stranger to this being. She hadn't even introduced herself. The woman would stand slowly before dusting off her jeans and extending her small hand, "The name is Esme. It's a pleasure to meet you." A light smile would cross her features as she could feel some warmth coming back into her from somewhere. Interaction maybe?


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#4 Re: [Private] The First on Mon Jun 11, 2018 8:38 am

Hagane had startled the stranger which caused them to jump slightly, most likely because they weren't expecting Hagane or anybody to find themselves upon the same roof as them. Regardless, Hagane would find his sights placed upon the woman's face as she urgently turned in his direction. Even with the lack of light shone upon her, Hagane couldn't help but admire her beautiful face, as the stars lit up the background behind her. Hagane had never ever seen anybody in this way before, he had never admitted to seeing anyone as being beautiful, but this strange girl was truly beautiful in his eyes. His face was blank as he admired her beauty, her hair glowing under the stars and the city lights. "Oh, they are unlike anything I've seen before", she would say speaking softly and timidly, referring to the city lights.  

The stranger would look out into the city lights once more, before turning her attention fully to Hagane and giving him a smile. "Traveling was never a freedom of mine. I just wanted to enjoy it for only a little while", she would say before placing herself properly on the roof and standing up. Dusting herself off, she would extend her hand out, "The name is Esme. It's a pleasure to meet you.", she would say with a light smile afterwards.

Hagane, still entranced by her beauty finally snapped back into reality. Hagane was about to reach his hand out to accept hers, until he realized he was still holding his Zanpakuto. Hagane looked at his Zanpakuto for a second, wondering what to do with it until he met a verdict. He drove his sword straight into the concrete building like butter, and reached for her hand. "Hagane Jaken'na Kokoro... Or just Hagane, or just Steel if you want my name in english.", he would say giving her a smile back and tipping his hat with his free hand. He probably looked like an idiot at this stage, but hopefully he gave a good impression.

"So... what brings ya here Esme?" Hagane would say looking into her eyes. "Better question, what makes you think you were ever free?", Hagane would say releasing his grip and walking to the edge of the building. "What is freedom to you, what does it represent?", he would say looking at his hands and then facing her again. His eyes would reflect the sadness in his heart, and his words would slowly become saddened.  "what do you see when looking upon the world?"


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#5 Re: [Private] The First on Mon Jun 11, 2018 10:18 pm

Mei T

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She would watch him as his eyes stayed on her the whole interaction they had. He seemed to be distracted by something, except she certainly wasn't sure what it was. Maybe, it was the city or something in his own mind. Either way, she was quite glad to have been meeting someone new, even if he wasn't quite in the moment with her. As she extended her hand, he seemed to find his way back to her, but he was still recovering from his distraction as he realised his hands were full. Before she knew it, his weapon was now embeded within the building and he seemed to do it with little to no effort. Turquoise eyes would stare at the sword sticking out of the concrete as the man took her hand and introduced himself. She would look back to him with an amused smile, so she knew she definitely shouldn't mess with this one, not that she had planned on it. She was far too interested in him.

He would begin to ask her questions that she wasn't quite sure she knew the answers to completely. Why was she here? What did she think of freedom? What was the world to her? Except, she couldn't help but ask herself what had happened to him. She could tell he was saddened and struggling with something as he asked these questions. Esme would look with concern, but not with worry as she knew it wasn't the best of emotions to show. "Well, Hagane, I gave myself freedom but not real freedom. I was a slave forced to do someone else's biddings, but I got away from that. So now, I feel I can be myself, follow my own path, and do what is best for myself. That's my definition of freedom, even if it may only be temporary," her face would become lighter with emotion not really showing much. Her eyes and heart were painted, even if it was just a twinge of emotion. She hardly remembered her human life, her parents, or even who she was. She didn't remember how she had found her way here or just how that woman had captured her. However, she did remember the world she saw through the many different eyes she had. "As for the world, it's all cruel, dark, and.. lonely. You are left to fix your own problems, left to fend even if you can't, and you're forced to move on. If you're lucky, you find something that makes it all seem a little less terrible, a little less lonely, and a little less empty." Esme would stare out at the lights as that little empty void seemed to become more prominent, but she hoped that maybe this time, she could figure out what it was. "I think those are the most important moments. The ones where the beauty seems to shine through. Whether it be a moment where you feel a little more free, where you feel a little more strength, or where you feel everything else is just a little less." She wasn't quite sure if she had one of those moments yet, but she was sure if she had, it would feel a bit like she was now.


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#6 Re: [Private] The First on Wed Jun 13, 2018 7:49 pm

Esme's face would spark a slight show of concern as she proceeded to answer Hagane. "Well, Hagane, I gave myself freedom but not real freedom. I was a slave forced to do someone else's biddings, but I got away from that. So now, I feel I can be myself, follow my own path, and do what is best for myself. That's my definition of freedom, even if it may only be temporary", Esme's face would lighten ever so slightly with emotion.

Listening to Esme's words made Hagane feel relaxed in a way, not because of the answer she had given, but because Hagane liked listening to her lovely voice. Hagane had a more darker view on freedom, and although he wouldn't tell Esme, he thought about deeply it. In Hagane's mind, Freedom doesn't exist. You can be physically free, no shackles to tie you down, no barriers to prevent exploration. However, that isn't freedom to Hagane.

Esme continued, "As for the world, it's all cruel, dark, and.. lonely. You are left to fix your own problems, left to fend even if you can't, and you're forced to move on. If you're lucky, you find something that makes it all seem a little less terrible, a little less lonely, and a little less empty.", while finishing this sentence, Esme would proceed to look out into the distance.

Hagane agreed with everything Esme had said here, he had no counter-thoughts on the matter. In a way, Hagane within this moment had gained some respect for Esme. She wasn't deceiving herself in anyway about the world, she wasn't lying about it's state. She saw the world for exactly what it was, or at least that's the impression that Hagane had gotten. Hagane was about to place his own views on the matter, until she continued to speak. "I think those are the most important moments. The ones where the beauty seems to shine through. Whether it be a moment where you feel a little more free, where you feel a little more strength, or where you feel everything else is just a little less".

Hagane placed his sights on Esme realizing that perhaps this was the first person he had ever had similar views with, or even someone who might finally understand his rage. He focused on her face as he finally pitched in his own views, "Freedom to me. To me it doesn't exist. No matter what, your scars, your fears, everything that follows you. It will always hold you down, and at the end of the road you'll be dragged down. Then the cycle will continue, and every time you reach that same road, It'll slowly sink in. You were born to be chained, you were born to drown.", Hagane clenched his fists tightly after finishing talking.

Hagane remained silent for a moment, simply turning to the direction of a small pillar atop the roof. Until he finally lashed out in a fit of rage, kicking the pillar, and shattering it's base. As for the pillar, it flew off into the distance. He was about to do something else, something a lot more collateral, until he heard whispering in his head. He froze in place, slowly reaching for head. He gripped his head with force as if in pain. Before hearing the source behind him. His vision was met with Esme's beautiful figure but it was also met with a shadow reaching around Esme, with its hand extended to Hagane. All Anger left Hagane's face within an instant, as his arms went limp. A terrible sadness hit Hagane's heart, as if someone was gripping tightly around it. His eyes showed a crying soul, but his face showed a blank and heartless exterior. Sorrow filled eyes would find themselves placed onto the shadowy silhouette as Hagane made his way slowly to Esme. Esme would not be able to see what Hagane saw, as it was all a mental illusion.

"Have I already Drowned?", Hagane would ask in a low quiet tone as he continued to tread his way slowly. A single tear would find its way down his void face, as he reached out. Slowly with more realization of every step he took, he knew deep down that what he saw would always be out of reach.  

Perhaps Hagane deserved this torment, perhaps this was his curse for being so selfish.


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#7 Re: [Private] The First on Thu Jun 14, 2018 6:29 am

Mei T

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Mei's 4th Squad
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He had payed such close attention to her and she had noticed this while speaking every word. He watched her, not interrupting, and he only seemed to listen intently. This man was different than any she had encountered before as he had taken the time to notice her. He hadn't meant to harm her in any way when she spoke to him and he didn't seem to arrogantly flaunt his power, if he even noticed hers was lesser. Esme certainly knew that, if he had lashed out at her, she would be done for in an instant. She could feel his power and she had already seen the strength he held when he slipped his sword into the building like it was meant to hold it. Now, it was her turn to listen to him.

He spoke and she showed him the same respects looking at him a little closer in detail this time. Obviously, he was far taller than she was and definitely more defined. He attracted her in a way that she hadn't seemed to have noticed about anyone else before, but she wasn't sure how. She wasn't sure if she admired his physical appearance in a way that she was jealous or if she genuinely felt more about it than she could place into thought. The more she watched him and listened to him the more her mind became distracted. However, his words seemed to make all that stop as they were darker than what she had been thinking. Her head would tilt allowing some of her hair to flow freely, as Esme noticed Hagane become a bit angry at his own words. What had happened to him?

Tuquoise eyes would shimmer with greater concern as he turned away from her. Had she done something wrong? Or was it just his emotional state leaving him distressed? Before she could address him, he would lash out completely destroying a pillar and sending the large object flying. Her body would jump and her arms would raise to cross over her chest, as her heart beat faster. Why was she surprised? She already knew he was strong, perhaps she wasn't aware that he would go to such an extent. Esme would take a few deep breaths to calm her beating heart as she watched Hagane placing his hands on his head. She wished she knew how to comfort him or help him. She didn't know what was happening to him. She wasn't sure what he was doing. She watched him almost frantically, except her being stayed calm. When he looked at her, the feeling in her chest dropped as she could see something was terribly wrong. She wasn't sure why she had felt so strongly about this, about a man she had just met, but she felt that she was meant to be here. It was a strange feeling, but she was encouraged to aid him.

He didn't see her in this moment and she could tell by the way his eyes were darkened and sadened. He wasn't with her anymore, but he was certainly seeing something as the pain dripped from his eye in the form of a teardrop. His hand extended and she knew there was nobody to grab it, but her. Even if it wasn't meant for her, she would step cautiously towards him before carefully attempting to encase his had in her own smaller ones. If it went the way she hoped, she would place one hand on his palm and the other on the opposite side, while she looked into his eyes wanting to see them shine again. "Hagane?" Her voice was soft and calm as she hoped he would see her now. "If you've drowned, I will try my best to save you," Esme would smile at him in an attempt to let him know she wanted to be there for him genuinely. Her eyes would water knowing his pain and feeling sorry for what the world had done to him. She wasn't sure what had happened, but she surely knew his questions weren't for nothing. Perhaps, they were just a test, but she knew they weren't meaningless.

If she had done what she hoped to accomplish, Esme would try to lower his hand gently before stepping closer to lightly embrace him. Maybe, they were placed on this world to make everything feel a little less for each other.


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#8 Re: [Private] The First Yesterday at 9:51 pm

Hagane would feel Small, delicate, soft hands place themselves firmly on his hand as he reached out. He would then be met with Beautiful Turquoise eyes staring into his own. Ugly horrible mirrors, that what Hagane's eyes were. Esme would speak to him, as she looked deep in his being. "Hagane?", she would say in a delicate and calm voice, "If you've drowned, I will try my best to save you", she would saying smiling at him. Her eyes would water up as she continued to comfort Hagane. Why did she care for how he felt? Why would anyone care to understand him? How could anyone look upon him and not see a Monster?

Hagane could feel Esme's comforting touch, yet he refused to accept it. The whispers in his head were so tormenting, so demanding, so full of hate. It was utterly unbearable. Hagane's heart began to pump unnaturally fast, as a potent mix of Adrenaline hit his bloodstream. His left eye went completely bloodshot and red, and his right arm began to shake. Hagane was going to snap, he was going to go into a berserk state, he was going to lose himself again. He could feel everything turning into hate, he could see the world around him become dim, the night sky lost it's stars, and the city lights shone no more. Hagane was fading by the second.

Esme lowered Hagane's arm and lightly embraced him, and Hagane could feel her warmth against his chest. The voices suddenly had stopped, the shadow had disappeared, and Hagane slowly began to come back to. A Hug, a hug had stopped him from becoming a Monster. Or perhaps it wasn't the Hug, perhaps it was the person giving that hug. Hagane slowly placed his arms around Esme, as tears began to violently stream down his face. Perhaps Esme was the only redeeming person on this scummy plane of existence.

Through this touching moment, Hagane began to speak, Tears still streaming down his face. "I used to have someone very dear to me, someone who I considered to be my only family. I loved her so much, and she was so innocent. But she was taken from me, taken right in front on me. I could see the light and happiness fade from her eyes as she cried and smiled at me. She was taken from my arms, and I couldn't do a single thing to save her. All I could do was listen to her cries of pain".

For the first time in months, Hagane had felt like he was human again. He could think straight, even if it was filled with sadness.


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#9 Re: [Private] The First Today at 6:56 am

Mei T

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Even through her care and affections, she could see his pain and anger rise. She had seen his strength and knew that if he were to lose himself entirely, she would be no match for him. Even still, there was no fear in her heart, there was no caution to be found in this moment, and there was no worry to be seen of her own safety. As his eye turned bloodshot and his arm began to shake, she continued to ignore the signs. They didn't matter to her. None of it mattered to her. His rage was not something she felt to be afraid of, instead it was something she felt was to keep his emotion from her. Did he know how to cope with her genuinely projecting her feelings to him? Esme had seen the moment in his eyes that he noticed her and she had seen the moment that it all began to fade out. Something was covering it all up, blocking it all out, and molding it into something much darker. Nonetheless, she didn't flinch, she didn't run away, and she certainly wouldn't attempt to defend herself. Instead, she would stay calm and she would successfully embrace him.

Esme could hear his heartbeat something furious as she was only tall enough to find her head resting near his chest. She refused to fear him even as she felt the violence sturring within him. She didn't care if he hurt her. She didn't care if this was her last time in this world. She didn't care about any of it as long as she kept her word to him. As of this moment, he had become something of importance to her and she refused to back out on him. Esme would find that his heartbeat began to slow and his body became much calmer, as his arms would also wrap themselves around her. She would find herself with tear filled eyes, yet none of them fell. It was a moment that would define her existence and issue the start of a new experience. She had never felt the way she did about Hagane to anyone else.

He began to speak leaving Esme with her eyes closed and her ears perked for the listening. As he delved deeper into what happened to the girl and what she was like, turquoise eyes would move to look at his tear soaked face as one of her very own rolled down her cheek. She listened to what happened to that girl and she knew it wasn't right. She was slowly figuring out what the world had done to him and she was sad for him. How could the world take someone like him and ruin everything he had? How could the world just take and take and take so endlessly without a single care to be given? How could the good people be tortured so mercilessly?

"I'm so sorry, Hagane," she would say softly still watching the tears on his face and the pain in his eyes. She didn't know how to comfort him any more than she had been. She didn't know what to say to him more than she had. Her heart seemed to be grasping for answers and ways to help him. She would keep watching him with a pain filled heart, until she finally found the courage to speak. "I can't imagine what it must have been like to lose someone like that. It must have been painful. It must have been sad. It must have been more terrifying than fear itself. It must have been terribly lonely for you. I'm so sorry that you've had to endure that. If the world won't take responsibility for its actions, I'll apologize to you in its place and I'll do anything I can to help you deal with that pain. Even if that means you need me with you every day, I will be there no matter what," her voice was still soft, but it seemed to faulter between sentences. She hadn't once looked away from his face, as she continued to feel safe, secure, and warm in his arms. It was an odd feeling, one she hadn't experienced before, but she hoped that he could feel it to. She hoped that he could feel what she felt. She hoped he could see it in her words, her actions, and her eyes. Esme needed him too.


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