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#1 Rooftop Talk (Noz) on Thu Feb 08, 2018 10:01 am

Tatsuya had been very disturbed by the loss of the shinigami home world. She was supposed to protect them, both heavens and mortals. She was supposed to help bring them peace, happiness, serenity, and grace from the moon above. She had failed her duties yet again and it seemed to shine dimmer on this night. Tatsuya had missed the moon greatly, but she had no desire to return. Perhaps, she would never be able to again and a new queen was already born. Maybe, they forgot her. Maybe they missed her. Maybe, they didn't want her anymore. What would it matter though? She didn't have anything there. The stories about queens and kings joining the mortals and never returning; she wondered if this was why. The opportunities, the growth, the love that she was newly acquainted with that these beings expressed, and togetherness that they shared between their small tribes.. er well.. families as they called them.

Tatsuya had nothing on the moon. No mother, father, sister, brother, or any family. She was alone, she was not like these people either, but she felt that she could be one day. Their ways were still strange from their relationships, to their water, to their activities, and their hobbies. The power here was immense and there were many, many forms. The living units.. er houses and barracks.. were also quite odd. Definitely their words were odd too. Yet, she had grown attached to this place. Her heart formed s new home, a new sense of friendship, and a new sense of love that she hadn't known existed. Then again, that littke android child had shown her many, many things about love. The thought would make Tatsuya's face bright red as she curled her knees up close to her chest. She would shake her head vigorously ridding herself of the thoughts before looking to the pale moon and placing her chin on her knees. What were they doing up there right now? They hadn't tried to contact her in a little while. Was she really lost to them? Her heart would pound with a pinch of pain inside her chest. Her eyes would water and finally drip tears slowly. Was this what it was like.. to feel abandoned?



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#2 Re: Rooftop Talk (Noz) on Thu Feb 08, 2018 10:28 am

I felt a sense of misplaced agony. I felt as though there was something I needed to do, and yet knew full well that nothing would change, at least not for a long time. I'd still been completely heartbroken over the death of my wife, and the mother of my daughter... that much was true, but something else plagued me. The ambiguity of my plight caused me to muddle, muddle, and muddle yet again, but for nothing. I felt no clarity come upon my mind, nor any breath of peace. Clinging to what little remained, I ventured outside, to escape the dense air of my prison-like camp of a temporary office. Who should I find but a woman so beautiful and shimmering of nothing but a deep blue. Her aura was full of discord and melancholy, and no peace laid in her heart. That thought was something I could commune with, unable to escape the weight of my failure too. "Tatsuya. What brings you out so late in the night?" I paused for several moments before setting the thought aside, joining her company. "It matters very little. I simply... can't stand to be in that place we call our office anymore. It feels more like prison now, than a temporary home... I also tire of being alone, something I'm sure you can understand."


I would sit on the grass beside her, knowing my child was safely asleep, but fearing that the world she would come to know would not be warm to her as I had tried to be. I looked to the stars and moon, seemingly following the gaze of the fairy blue, but noticing that the sky too seemed solemn and burdened as I did. Could it be that it reflected us? Truthfully, I don't think the answer would make me feel any better or worse. Distractions only aid in the prolonging of such silly things. After a while I'd look at the fairy whom for a while now, I had called my Lieutenant... Though I hadn't addressed her as such since Mei had died. I couldn't. Tatsuya was more like a companion to me from that point, supporting and aiding me, lifting me up when my emotions felt as though they would consume me, becoming a sort of light for me when my way seemed the cloudiest and deepest of dark....

I needed to know.

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#3 Re: Rooftop Talk (Noz) on Thu Feb 08, 2018 10:55 am

Tatsuya would allow the small water orbs to streak her cheeks before hearing his voice, that voice she had taken to so well. It was the only voice she frequently listened to amongst the crowd of others that seemed to shy away from her, yet he welcomed her with that warm, open tone. She would perk up subtly trying to strip away the tears with her sleeve, pretending she was just rubbing them from the lateness of the night making her tired. He would come closer after asking her what she had come out here under this dark sky, this very dark sky that even the stars had decided not to penetrate through. Upon the distance closing in, Noziel had begun to speak more words than she was expecting to hear from him. She could sense his heavy heart, his pained mind, and his gloomy body. She could sense it for the londest time, ever since the death of his beloved wife. Mei Tsaki, the name made Tatsuya's heart twinge with but the lightest of pains, she had been a woman of grace, joy, and beauty. She had been murdered at the hands of the traitorous Kokoro Nashi, her fellow Captain whom she had seemed to trust dearly. It all seemed to stir up negative feelings within her heart for some reason. Guilt, anger, saddness, disappointment,and loneliness. What was this?

"O-Oh. I was- uhm. I was just getting some air. As you said, that room is like a prison,
except much nicer with you as company. W-Well, anyway, I just like to look at the moon, but tonight it looks like it's shutting me out. I don't mind it too much.. but it's kind of lonely,"
her voice would trail off before Tatsuya would glance to the Captain beside her, who was looking in her direction. Her face would turn bright red as she looked away only to have his face left in her mind. Why did she think about him so much? Why did he make her nervous? Nobody had ever made her feel the way he did, but then again, nobody had tried. Then, the pictures of his happiness would surface. Mei, Camillia, and him. They were a family. He loved them. He loved her. "W-What was it like... loving someone like that?" Her voice was soft, but just loud enough for the duo to hear. Tatsuya hadn't registered this question leaving a long moment of no words from her before she would randomly begin to panick. She would turn to Noziel moving her knees under her before rising up just a little for them to support her."I-I'm so sorry! I-It's just that...I've never had that luxury. Not in my past life, not in this life, and maybe not even in the next. I-I just... I'm such an idiot," Tatsuya's eyes would water as she jumped to her feet in an attempt to leave. She couldn't stay here if she couldn't control herself. What was she doing?



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#4 Re: Rooftop Talk (Noz) on Thu Feb 08, 2018 12:03 pm

Hearing just the smooth veil of her vocal vibrata was soothing. It washed over me like the moonlight and set me at ease, despite knowing how horrid our situation was. I could also detect the same emotions in her voice though, tones of sadness and despair. Hearing her talk of loneliness, trailing off, as the thought seemed to distract her. "True enough. Though we share this small space, we tend to forget that we are able to support each other due to our accursed monotony..." Where I had hoped more conversation would spurn forth, a bittersweet silence fell upon our night, though not for long. She had apparently been deep in thought and asked me of what it meant to love my wife. Some time passed, and she quickly flipped her lips, clearly flustered by the fact that she had inferred a question that she should not have asked. However, in her anxious response, I raised my hand to stay her. I looked to her, smiling gently and nodding, to tell her that it was okay to ask. I then gave her the answer she sought.

As strong as I always tried to appear, now was not the time for such an act. I trusted in her, and let my guard down. "Mei, my lost wife... I loved her then as I love her still... But it was not all for the best I would fear. You see, she was greatly troubled. I often gave her my entire heart because of her strong essence of kindness, the kindness that she gave endlessly to others in need. The problem was in eventuality, that there was something within her that even I could not see or touch, and she would relinquish it to no one. It was her burden, solely. I still to this day know not what it was that pained her so, but it latched relentlessly onto her, seemingly impeding her in the few things that would limit her, her paralyzing fear of hurting others, her closed heart, unwilling to share her emptiness. One day, she disappeared for a time, and I thought I'd lost her then... I wish I had... What I found was not the same of my wife, for the very thing that bound her was sealed away, never to be seen. She didn't remember much of anything, barely that of me... I loved her dearly, but I was always pained, knowing just what she withheld from everyone, how great a burden she carried....

Enough of that though. To you, I should describe the feeling, so that you too, may understand. Imagine if you would for a moment, a star in the sky, brighter than any other. It burns brightly, brilliantly, so that you see clearly and you feel its gentle, yet sturdy warmth. The shine of that star is inside your chest, it drives you, it makes you feel alive, and it is your very lifeblood, but it does not harm you. That same feeling, the very same... That is what was within me when Mei was around.... Though that fire died with her.

I look up, and I see both the moon and the stars... but the moon is all that can be seen. Do you know why that is?"


The longer this tale of mine went on, it was clear that I'd been holding this all back, keeping it on my own shoulders. Struggling to get it out, I heaved and sighed, eventually tearing up, but towards the end, I made a clear gesture to the heavens, showing her a mystery of the world that she had yet to understand. I would allow her its secrets, if she so chose.

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#5 Re: Rooftop Talk (Noz) on Thu Feb 08, 2018 12:23 pm

Almost as quickly as her mind had frantically produced words and emotions, they had all faded with the steadying of Noziel. Tatsuya would freeze in her tracks only to lower her being once more onto the ground with her knees still tucked under her morsel. Blue eyes would gkance at the face of Noziel as he began to talk, until his words of Mei became surprisingly the opposite of what she expected. How could Mei have been so unhappy? How could she have possibly been so torn to pieces that she hid eveeything within? How could she have been so secretive with the amount of live she was recieving from such a gracious husband? She even birthed his child, yet she still felt the need to seclude her true feelings from him. Then, to have just disappeared? Did she run away from him? Did she try to run away from it all? Her duties? Her relationships? Why? What had hurt her so much? She had a beautiful girl and a wonderful husband. How? How could she be like that?

Before long, Noziel had switched the topic from his hurting wife to what love felt like to him. Being from the moon, his comparison was all too surreal for her to imagine. She had lived among the stars, she had dreamed of their warmth, she had wished for them to be closer, and she had wished for them to shine brilliantly alongside the moon's gorgeous surface. All that feeling she had with the stars she imagined together in her chest, yet her feelings hadn't changed in this moment. Tatsuya would look from the sky onto Noz's face wondering why nothing had changed. The woman would become concerned for a moment before realizing something. If Noz felt this way every time his wife was around, did... that mean... Noz was the cause of Tatsuya's feelings? No, he couldn't have. She respected his love for his wife and family, but did that mean her heart had? Blue eyes would look with Noz at so many emotions being sad, happy, joyous, warm, and disappointed yet again. Why did he make her think these things?

Noziel had asked her a question about the moon and the stars. Why could he see the moon and not the stars? "U-Uhm... The moon is larger and closer? The stars are smaller and further away?
I don't know what you're getting at,"
the woman would say as she tilted her head towards the sky. What did that have to do with anything?



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#6 Re: Rooftop Talk (Noz) on Fri Feb 09, 2018 2:28 am

She seemed completely enthralled with my voice, entirely absorbed by the words I spoke, and perhaps, even just my presence there with her. I saw and felt her heavy weight vaporize to nothingness, and her eyes locked tightly to mine. I noticed something in that moment, something that I almost certainly felt that she too understood. The feeling I described... well. It had not gone. It had only changed its focus. The fairy blue, so brilliantly gleaming did indeed have my attention from the moment I met her, though never quite like this. In this empty space, though we were a fair distance apart, I could sense her very life essence opening up, and her heart beating a bit faster. I sensed her focus on me, and her attention unwavering. Things that I normally wouldn't feel and sense from anyone were now centered on me, and feelings I had formerly only shared with my wife now centered on this woman before me.

In the moment that came where she answered my question with her own logic, which was brilliant, but not complete.... I decided to tell her a bit more, sharing myself with her. "You're not wrong, fairy of the blue. The moon most certainly has a stronger light and energy from here, and it is indeed closer. However, that is not why I see them. I see a great many things because I learned to look far beyond the surface of every little thing. At first, it was the simple things, like seeing the Reishi of the world around us, then people's individual pools of energy. Eventually, it grew so much, that even when I was blind, I knew who people were, what type they were, I could sense emotions, affinities, and a great many things. Even now, that sense develops, to now, where I can see the extreme and divine powers of the stars, blocked by the clouds, invisible, but not so to me. When I first met you, I was blind, and you could tell, it was apparent...

But even then, I saw you for the person you were, dutiful, kind, and a great deal generous. You had a power in your heart that few could dare to match, and your aura glimmered a bright blue. When I got my eyesight back, it was a bit too much to handle at first. I could in time learn to balance the two, but my world had already changed. I could at the least, now put a face to the lovely fairy blue aura that I held close. It's true enough...

Without your presence, and that of my daughter's, I would be completely alone. There is no doubt past that. And I am not alone in this small space, either. The void is filling, and I think it's time I allowed it to do so."


I inched my way closer to the fairy blue, Tatsuya. I allowed our arms to touch, and instantly, the sensation of love washed over me again. Not just love for me, but love for young Camellia as well. She wanted to take part in the familial love that was there, as well as something more. That much I could guess. By now, I could feel that most of the sensation was just as much me letting go as accepting Tatsuya's attention. Mei would have wanted me to be happy, for little Cami to be happy. This much I was sure of. She wouldn't want to see me suffer because of her.

And so I let everything begin anew.

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#7 Re: Rooftop Talk (Noz) on Fri Feb 09, 2018 8:54 am

Tatsuya's face would turn bright red upon hearing the term "fairy" and her eyes looked like that of a deer caught in headlights. Did he already know? Had he found her out or was it just one of those famous expression type things these beings were well known in using? He couldn't have found her out already for she hadn't spoken a word of it to anyone. So, perhaps that was all. Tatsuya would slowly soften her expression in between looks of confused suspicion. However, in the end she had drawn her lips into a light smile as he spoke of his hardships, her aura, and how he overcame with her by his side. As he began to speak about her a light blush would form upon her cheeks leaving her to look away while laughing just a bit nervously. Then, a warmth would press against her arm prompting her orbs to look over only to see it was him. He had moved closer to her allowing his warmth to collide with her own causing even more of an embarrassing redness to wash over her as she looked at their contact. W-What was he doing?! What did he mean he needed to let the void fill?! Did he know about her attraction to him and her love towards that sweet, little Camellia. How did he find out? Was she that predictable? Maybe, she was just reading the wrong story. Maybe, this was all just a misunderstanding. Perhaps, this was all just some sort of odd dream of hers. Being from the moon, this atmosphere made her dream odd things most days, but the obvious touch of his arm against hers definitely ruled that theory out. D-Did he mean what she thought he meant? Tatsuya would glance away after a while of staring while attempting to hide her blushing face.

"U-Uh... W-Well, I am your... uhm... Lieutenant after all.. I mean.. I am supposed to be here to support you, no matter what,
yes? I-I just.. I uhm.. well.. I guess.. I just.. No,"
the would cover her face with her palms as she ceased her yammering. What was wrong with her? How could be this uncool about this man simply touching his arm to hers? How could she care so much about what this man was saying to her? Tatsuya had known she was quite unknowledgeable in the ways of this newfound emotion that these beings called love or whatever other slang they used for such things; she knew quite well that she wasn't any good at knowing what to do with these emotions. She wasn't even sure what emotion to use in this situation. What was he trying to convey? Tatsuya would blush before speaking through a covered face, "U-Uh.. you know... Captain Aran... Y-You've never been this close to me before. Did I do something?" Tatsuya would ask never having actually called Noziel anything else before, so she figured she would stick to what she knew for now.



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#8 Re: Rooftop Talk (Noz) on Fri Feb 09, 2018 1:02 pm

My eyes focusing more on her face and less on her aura, I noticed the softness of her skin for what felt like the first time in great detail. It was almost divine in the shading and texture. As I spoke, her expression shifted through a wide array of emotions, as well as thought processes. I could see some confusion, but also wonder, as her cheeks seemed to change even their shape just a slight amount. Her gentle smile was probably the best part, because I took mild pleasure in seeing a happiness from her, more strongly than I had from anyone. I don't think I'd examined someone's expressions and face in such detail before, not even Mei's... Something about hers was a magic unlike any I'd seen. A light pink flowed through several pores of the blue beauty's face, and it was something I recognized. I smiled in return, able to fully understand her feelings as I finally did my own. The touch of my arm to hers was incredibly... interesting. I felt an intense electricity like feeling spread over my arm. Though something else washed over me too, it was quickly hushed by her torrenting embarrassment. I felt a giggle coming on, though not to tease her. I honestly thought it was cute, as she began to put two and two together.

Her sheepish connections made by speech were indicators that she wasn't quite ready for the escalation, and hurriedly chalking it up to what should have been a trusting relationship of duty, she was too flustered to keep that theory together. She eventually gave in and covered her mouth to calm herself, relatively speaking. I saw the wheels turn, and the eyes of her marble blue spinning and darting as though there were far too many questions of which there were no answers for. She asked one of those questions, however, surprising me. What she had asked was if she'd done something to make me want to sit so closely to her, clearly driven to the borderline of her limits. I simply smiled at her and responded in kind, giving the answer she sought.

"You have. You've done what you've always done and supported me endlessly, but the main difference is that this time, I see something more. I am not alone now, and I am not meant to dwell on Mei's passing forever. I'm ready to let what is past and gone move on. Most importantly, I wish to share my life with someone. I trust no one with my heart more than you at this moment. Mei would want me to be happy, not to be alone. I ask you to explore what I've felt before, and what you now feel. I wish to love you, Tatsuya." I would take her hand, enveloping it in my own. That type of contact however... That was a shift, even for me. What it became for me was something I could never truly understand, at least not at first, definitely not in the instant it began. What I felt was a divine-strength burst of emotion, feeling, a sensation which was both overpowering and soft to the touch. I shuddered and collapsed for a mere moment, it seemed, but was likely longer. I did in turn sit back up and gaze at Tatsuya and smile differently than the last time. One of embarrassment was now on my face, hoping that I did not make her worry for long.

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