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on Fri Oct 13, 2017 7:52 am



Name: Anastasia El Dante Castillo
Other Names: Anna, Annie, The Crazy Arrancar, Dr. Helena West M.D.
Apparent Age: 1,829 years old
True Age: 27 years old
Sex: Female
Personality: Anastasia El Dante is always kind-hearted, spirited and energetic which really clashes with her crazy personality on occasion. She looks up to espadas as something of a role models usually thinking of them like her family or where she comes from. Child-like and playful in many ways, Anna tried to maintain a positive outlook and often refers to evil hearted people as "big meanies". In spite of her crazy demeanor, Anastasia El Dante values her friendship with her friends, but only after spending long years travelling, able to express these feelings towards them.

Despite her thoughts, Anastasia El Dante can be loyal person to any organization the arrancar can show respect to people who have great power. Trust is another factor, Anna will be neutral hearted to ths. Betrayal....She'll stop at nothing to hunt down and kill the person responsible to her eyes the person is nothing more then a traitor. Really It a two way street when it comes to loyalty.

She loves drinking alcoholic beverages whenever it Jack Daniels, Really Cold Beer or Whiskey. Really it helps her forget that she's an arrancar the buzz of any alcohol gives her. In this state, Anna can be your best friend, lover or a deadly enemy but she can think straight while she drunk and her spiritual pressure acts wacky. Even though, Anna a wreck coming out of booze an will sometimes get another drink and start over again. At times, Anna has been known to be curious and do things that she's isn't aware of time to time. If somebody can get her completely drunk a lot things can happen which you won't even believe as the seductive lady persona can kick in.

Height: 6'1"
Weight: 156lbs
Physical Traits: Having a much beautiful figure mostly from her devouring humans most of her life gaining a perfect looking female body. Anastasia El Dante has smooth yet beautiful skin mostly because of an skin lotion cocktail for her skin making it smooth and provocative. She has known to have short dark brown hair which is noticeably trimmed which she'll rarely comb because of her love of experiments. Anna's blue eyes make her look very seductive and dangerous in her actions which she can work to her advantage. She has a medium-large breast size a DD-cup the sadistic arrancar likes getting the much needed attention from men with them or perhaps tricking them. Anna wears torn blue jeans and black boots because she doesn't believe in the traditional white clothing anymore which make her change her clothing.

She often seen wearing blue shirt but with no bra also wearing an old brown jacket. To complete the outfit she'll wear a pair of gloves to fully show she means business.

Anna's remains of her hollow mask consist of the left side of her face which she keeps hidden. She wears an custom hockey mask to her hollow features hidden. Anna's hollow hole is on her left ankle but she'll keep it hidden really to her it such a turnoff thinking her beauty it flawed. With her reiatsu color is in a pure pitch black color whenever she's angry or fighting at her full strength

General Fighting Style: Being a former arrancar scientist, Anna is known to have a high level of spiritual energy. Anna has learned different healing powers to prolong her fights or her training. Being an scientist, Anna is smart into using known healing/herbal techniques into healing herself and healing other people. Her knowledge of scientific anatomy is great enough that upon examination or experimentation by cutting them up or other test subjects.  Anastasia El Dante is almost lethal in combat using punches or kicks with great style making her a fine combatant. She can measure what attack her enemy is using and counter their attack with something powerful. As for submission moves, Being well trained in using submission type moves forcing enemies into interrogation or immobilizing them so she can have her way.

She was trained by high ranked Arrancar. Anastasia El Dante has become an experienced swordsmen specialist. She was shown to face off against stronger opponents becoming highly proficient even without her sealed zanpakutō. Anna was able to face off against enemies when she was young hollow but easily was defeated. Growing up, Anna was shown to fight at an higher level her mastery of her zanpakutō. Using the blade offensively or defensive the crazy arrancar known to be a deadly force.

Being skillful in using lethal or violent type weapons on the battlefield the arrancar trained constantly and using focus when attacking with different weapons. Anna uses both precision and accuracy when using a gun and timed sword attacks in battle. Anna has showed great accuracy, able to kill Hollows and other warriors instantly using one or many bullets/sword slashes depending on their defense.
Strengths: Reiryoku Control, Zanjutsu, Strength, Sensing, Racial Powers
Weaknesses: Durability, Hakuda, Agility, Kido
Boosts: Strength x 2, Speed x 2
Ability Name: High Speed Regeneration
Ability Description: One of the only abilities that Anastasia was able to keep from her hollow evolution. Granting her the unique ability to heal very ultra fast speed. Anna's regeneration starts as her blood rips apart and then blood regenerates. Allowing her to heal and recover from damage. Anastasia's regeneration is much faster because from all the serums she took as a former doctor.
Healing scratches, bruises and minor wounds: {Instantly}
Healing lost limbs and damaged body parts: {Taking 2 posts, Before fully healing a limb/body part}
[Combat Oriented]

Ability Name: Dark Telekinesis
Ability Description: This refers to moving objects from one place to another without using physical contact. Anastasia El Dante focus on something with her right hand then her dark energy picks up the object and throws it leaving little traces of blood when it does. The dark kinetic energy has both close and far range.
[Moving Small/Medium Objects Lifting 25-50lbs {Cooldown: 1 Post}]
[Moving Large Objects lifting of 100lbs to 20tons {Cooldown 5-6 Posts}]

Sealed Appearance: The steel blade zanpakutō is differentially tempered using the traditional claying method which produces a HRC60 edge and HRC40 back. This allows for superior edge holding and cutting ability while allowing the blade to absorb the shock of a blow. The hamon and hada are very prominent. The koshirae are all made from blackened bronze and detailed in gold. The tsuba is made from blackened iron with a 'stalking tiger' motif. The same is of the finest ray skin while the tsuka-ito and sageo are made from top-quality japanese cotton.
Zanpakuto Name: Soldado
Zanpakuto Call Out: "Terminate Infiernosoldado"
Cero Techniques: Cero, Bala, Gran Rey Cero, Cero Oscaras

Cero Derrotar: An alternate version of Gran Rey Cero. When Anastasia mixes her blood with her cero getting into a stance. Then firing a powerful concentrated Cero blast been three times as stronger then her original Cero blast. She only uses the technique extreme situations or trying to show a good fight to her opponent.
{Having a strength of Hado 55, Cooldown: 4 Posts}

Appearance: Anastasia is transformed within a hollow white armor covering most of her body. Her is a mixture of hierro and metal being wrapped together almost infusing itself into her body. Her eyes are changed into a white color while her black scelera is different and her hair is of an silver-gray color having claws upon her hands. On her right wrist is a double scythe reaper blade almost like a crescent moon shape which is shape. Gaining something of an skirt covering most of her right leg and having sharp boots.
Release Actions: She gets into her fighting sword stance her spiritual pressure shoots like a volcano all around her. Anna puts the zanpakutō closes to her chest almost and does something of a sword praying and then her spiritual pressure is released it by saying the release phrase. Infiernosoldado unleashes a black and little red mass burst of spiritual energy, which falls around Anna as black/red rain. Once this is all done, Anna is within her Resereccion state as her spiritual energy calms downs as black spiritual energy pulsates around her then finally dies down.
Abilities: Pincharcalor-Lanza: An ability of where her blade can split to turn many bladed spear projectiles using offense even defensive moves. Anastasia summons her arm blade raising her bladed arm up and the sword arm starts glowing. Anna creates a long bladed spiked spear creating it from pure energy, she can imbue it with black flame energy which it glows black. Can even a number of spears from the technique but realizing it comes with a tremendous price, The number of spears that she can spawn out at once the weaker the spear's strength becomes. It was once of the first abilities she created after becoming changed from hollow to arrancar still it proven useful for fighting or interrogation.
Spear's Strength/Weakness
One Spear: {Strength of Hado 60} [C.Down: 1 Post]
Two Spears: {Strength of Hado 30.} [C.Down: 3 Posts]
Four Spears: {Strength of Hado 15.} [C.Down: 5 Posts]
Eight Spears: {Strength of Hado 8.} [C.Down: 7 Posts]
Sixteen Spears: {Strength of Hado 4, Spear Durability is a little weak but sharp} [C.Down: 10 Posts]
Twenty Spears: {Strength of Hado 2, Spear Durability is weak but blade is sharper} [C.Down: 12 Posts]
Fourty Spears: {Strength of Hado 1, Spear Durability weak like glass, deadly sharp} [C.Down: 14 Posts]

Lanza Arma: An twin bladed spear attack combining two spears into one. Anna summon two spears like usual an then with energy concentration begins fusing them together into a spear lance. Having the strength of Hado 50 technique being fused together Having to a strong durability of about 2 posts before returning back into two spears. Still it has a major weakness if it's split right in the middle because when fused it created fusion red cuff holding it together.
[Lanza Arma can last for only 2 posts; Cooldown: 2 Posts before using again]

Lanza Arma's Special Ability: This only works only with one spear and two spears. A energy string is generated from the tip of the spear whip can be used like a bull whip. When this spiritual energy whip hits it had the force of being hit with strong metal bull-like chain. The attack itself feels like your being hit with chainsaw, cactus and porcupine all at once. However the chain created having the strength of hado 30 with a range of about 25-35 feet.
[L. Arma S. Ability Cooldown: 4 Posts ]

La Raza: A machine gun blaze. A technique of where each spear can act like an army grenade. Where Anastasia can summon about fourteen spears into an army formation. With concentration, Anastasia can fire then at will in a vertical pattern. When each spear pierces enemy flesh or something solid it gives a mini explosion the damage itself will feel like the enemy was hit by two grenades. Each bladed spear has the speed like whatever the speed of the arrancar is the same of each spear when attacking an enemy.
Explosive Damage
One Spear: Will feel like two grenades going off at once. Hado #20. (Range: 5 feet) {Cooldown: 2 Posts}
Four Spears: Will feel like a bomb when off. Hado #35. (Range 9-10 feet) {Cooldown: 4 Posts}
Eight Spears: Will feel like two bombs at once a  c4 bomb. Hado #60 (Range: 16 feet) {Cooldown: 8 Posts}
Fourteen Spears: Will feel like a smart bomb. Hado #80 (Range: 24 feet) {Cooldown: 12 Posts}

La Serrar: A chainsaw mode having a deadly effect. The spears form a ring around her which spins fast like a bladed fan in vertical fashion, which can be used offensively/defensively. Spinning like a circle when the user summoned it into a circle formation. It Feel like a slash open like a real chainsaw blade. The only flaw if the one of blade is destroyed weakening the strength of the chainsaw effect. Having the strength of about Hado 50
[La Serrar's Duration 3 Posts. Cooldown: 6 Posts]
Boosts: Strength x3, Speed, x 3, Slashing x 3

Appearance: Anastasia is transformed within a super hollow white armor covering most of her body. Her is an enhanced mixture of hierro and metal being wrapped together almost infusing itself into her body. Her eyes are changed into a white color while her black scelera is different and her hair is of an silver-gray color having claws upon her hands. On her right wrist is a enhanced double scythe reaper blade almost like a crescent moon shape which is shape. Gaining something of an skirt covering most of her right leg and having sharp boots.
Abilities: Doble Guadaña: One of the first abilities from her new form. Creating deadly sharp scythe blades that extend from her forearms; they can bend and lengthen at will extending into meter-long scythes. These blades vibrate at an high frequency allowing them to cut through attacks, body damage even body parts if possible even cutting them apart. They can be destroyed by stronger attacks depending on the enemy's strength.
[Blade strength like Hado #70. Duration: 3 Posts (Cooldown: 6 Posts)]

Arrancarized Claws: Anastasia El Dante has metal claws on her fingers and her feet which can be used for slashing and gutting people when she gets angry or wanting to kill something. She can extend them for longer slashes even retract them when friends are around.
{Strength of Hado 40 (Can empower the claws with Cero); [Cooldown: 4 Posts]}

Garra-Acuchillar: A claw slash attack. Anna claws started glowing from her fingers they'll extend giving off an metal energy slash attack which weak but fast-like attack but it causing damage. It can be blocked by armor or strong like defense. Having the same strength to bala but doubled.
[Cooldown: 2 Posts]

Los Infierno: An elemental infusion of flame powers transforming her bladed arm weapon into a flame manipulator. After months of training, Anastasia El Dante finally learned to control this newfound power. With the red crystal forming upon her bladed arm weapon stabilizing her fire control. As a burning red fire glows within the crystal. The red crystal burns inside the very core of the Los Infierno. The crystal creation upon her right arm allowing her create some flame based abilities to use of her advantage. Managing her to create techniques from this power which can be for attack purposes.
Los Infierno Techniques
Infierno Arder: By charging the flame energy within the palm of her hand until it ready for an attack. Forcing the flame energy beginning to condense it into a concentrated fire ball using it for attack hurting an opponent. When it hits it will feel a blow torch burning flesh with a blast radius of about 20 feet. Like a bomb going off. It has a flaw if the concentrated fireball is destroyed then the attack is no more. She needed to the focus the power all over again,.
[Anastasia El Dante can use this technique twice. Having the strength of Hado 50, (Cooldown: 6 Posts)]
Infierno Cañón: The sniper technique is a spiral laser beam to hurt her enemies. The move is performed by touching two fingers to the forehead and charging energy for the sniper attack. When ready, the fingers are extended forward, and two thin magma laser beams are unleashed from the fingers. One remains straight while the other coils around the straight flame laser beam. The resulting hot beam is quite powerful, drilling through most targets, and exploding on the ones it can't. It can also be used with only one arm. The weakness is can be blocked or dodged easily enough if the enemy has speed of defensive power or any barrier against the sniper laser beam.
[She can used twice per battle; Having the strength of Hado 65. (Cooldown: 9 Posts)]
[It has the same strength and weakness as Gran Rey Cero in burning red sort of way.]
Boosts: Spiritual Pressure x4, Strength x4, Slashing x4, Speed x4, Racial Powers x4,

History: Anastasia El Dante Castillo the former hollow known as Alinasha who was a part of a ruthless hollow group known within Hueco Mundo as the "Violent Five". The group was made of five hollows but Alinasha was a hollow with a silent human past every time that she would devour a hollow or humans when nobody shinigami around the place. Still everytimes something good happens the hollow would remember little about her human past but it was during a fight with group that the female hollow remembered everything and parts of her human memory returned.

She remembered once the hollow known as Alinasha was once Alicia Prescott born and raised within Suffolk County, Massachusetts when people were going crazy during the Salem witch trials. Alicia Ally Prescott the daughter of Angela and Bill Prescott tried hiding her daughter in the basement because of the crazy mob they could have gone nuts and killed everybody during that time. Someone was planning something evil because two strangers were planning to hit the Prescott home and kill the whole family. Everybody believed Alicia's mother was a witch because of her supreme healing knowledge and abilities the hidden truth was some dipshit wanted to marry her and she refused the asshole prick brought false charges. As things were returning back to normal, Alicia's father was attacked by a mob of people and the leader which was leading the mob was Jacob Marley the man responisble for her mother's trouble. Jacob's lies actually convinced some people that Alicia's father was somehow being manipulated by a witch the bastard mob tied him up sentence him to jail which Alicia's mother was next. The neighbors of the family took care of Alicia Prescott hiding her as the mob attacked the Prescott home but it didn't end just there someone ratted on the neighbors and Alicia was captured. The whole family was sentence to death by downing but as their deaths were being carried out some american soldiers proved with hard evidence that the Prescott family weren't witches at all.

Alinasha's past came back to her but because of her new hollow mind she didn't care that was all in the past but something was bothering her it was becoming a nuisance. More times the hollow were seeing more hollow humans appearing around Hueco Mundo, Alinasha old group and some of her friends were defeated by these hollow humans she was wondering whatw as going on. "Where did those hollows get that power from???? Hollow that look like humans unbelievable, Now I want that power" She wanted to obtain greater strength maybe evolving should put her mind at ease it took her many years perhapsa decade but she managed to achieved the adjuches state but that wasn't easy at all. The next phase was becoming a vasto lorde but Alinasha didn't know how to do it she was much at a lost maybe these hollow humans were given this power by something or someone. Years later, Alinasha notices some hollows missing around Hueco Mundo somebody was kidnapping them it was only during her kidnapping that the hollow saw the person face it was a hollow human looking for test subjects for his master. Alinasha refused of course but the hollow human gave her two choices to get tested or die and the second choice wasn't a choice she wanted to take so she finally agreed to become a test subject.

She was taken with a few other hollows to some place called Las Noches quickly the hollow was taken science laboratory lair of the place and she was put in a cage wondering what prison this was. Alinasha saw many other hollows that were caged as well wondering what was happening but the experiment were looking for making hollows into these people called Arrancar it was farfetched to her. Then it was finally her turn, Alinasha was let out of her cage and taken to the lab where the scientist began experimentation on her body improving it making her stronger of an hollow then some shinigami appeared. The last part was she was given a choice as weird black ball was glowing within the man's hand telling her that she can be different. Alinasha accepted the guy's terms as this weird black ball was activated, she was transformed with all the enhancements and experimentation done to her. Alinasha was actually transformed completely into arrancar as the person wanted to know her name ans she said while rising to her feet "Anastasia El Dante Castillo" she said and the guy's nodded.

For many years, Anna served under the scientist arrancar doing a lot of experiments and treating the sick/wounded Arrancar that hurt in battle she loved it. She felt like for the very time that she was making a difference but during some espada's healing she was beaten trying the heal the espada and something happen to her it may have been with her experimentation. Anna's began developing a dark persona which she would change completely she was known to some people as "The Sadistic Seiyu" but the sadistic and inhumane experiments she began doing to some hollows even some shinigami she was known to be ruthless. This got so out of control that her superior used some experimentation which locked her dark side away which required a human sacrifice the arrancar scientist officer found a perfect subject.

The subject was named Hisagi La Vega a teenage runaway which some espada found actually a hollow was about to have him for lunch but track of the human meal within Las Noches's desert. The scientist began experimentation placing some of the human emotions and some chi powers to actually calm down Anna's dark side which finally created a purple tattoo on her body sealing away her dark side. Most people thought the dark side was contained but actually a slight malfunction took place yet her dark side was contained but it split her soul into two. Their was actually another hollow nobody has knew what happen really tried hard to keep this a secret trying to find someway to reverse this but then she thought it must be nice to have a daughter. When her soul was torn, he asked the newly formed arrancar if she had a name. She said her name was Akasha El Dante and asked if Anna had a name despite the fact that they were both the same person. Anna told her everything and then threw her a cloth to wrap herself up in. As Akasha asked her on what would they do now, Anna answered that they could do anything. Akasha then asked where would they go and Anna simply responded 'anywhere'. Anna then assured Akasha that no matter what, they would stick together.

Anna tried keeping Akasha a secret doing a lot of missions for Las Noches and becoming much of an healer for the arrancar group until a fraccion was saw something weird. Anna was helping a hollow girl called her daughter which led to Akasha been trained to be a fraccion, Anna didn't like this one bit because she was a just a kid.

The headmaster in charge didn't like Anna's attitude and put her through a punishment phase where she was imprisoned in a Caja Negacion until she learned her manners. Anna thought this wasn't for her and her so-called daughter the moment she leaves this prison that was when both her and Akasha were going to leave Hueco Mundo. But it was too late, An high ranked arrancar actually performed Akasha's execution informing the boss the deed was before Anna was freed from the Caja prison. A fraccion told Anna what happen to Akasha and then the arrancar was in emotional pain hearing such news it felt like a piece of her died but her superiors gave her a harsh punishment.

She tried doing missions agin but the thought of her so-called daughter been killed like that always put her into a emotional phase putting her into some turmoil over the choices she was making. For hours, Anna would train within the ground of Las Noches until her skills and abilities were good enough learning her resereccion but time after time, she felt like a slave. She wanted to become an espada but the more that the arrancar thought about her time within this place the more that she wanted to leave the thought of being ruled by another was unsettling even for her. During a unauthorized attack but some stronger Arrancar into Karakura town, Anna departed from Las Noches thinking this wasn't for her.

If she wanted to become an espada then she'll become on her own the memories of her dark human past guided her to the road of good intentions even thought their might be Hell to pay. Anna was going to have to deal with it the former evil hollow wanted to become a good respected human they made given her the tools of evil but the arrancar was going to do things her way.

Anastasia El Dante started learning on her own after stealing some stuff from the science labs on Las Noches, She thought that everything can be achieved with great will and determination. She opened an garganta being a little blinded by the sunlight by started opening her eyes thinking maybe this was a punishment. Anna started regaining his sight looking around leaving the portal at the garganta closed the arrancar was in Karakura town but things have changed. This was the start of a new beginning...
Side Notes: She will have Equipment and NPCs working for her soon...
Roleplay Sample: After her confrontation with Inami, Anastasia went into hiding trying to hide from all demons the arrancar had some balls going back into Las Noches like that. But the demon bitch had the nerve to place a certain bounty on her that the last thing she needed right now having Dog the bounty hunter coming after her. To think Inami Asthavon was a man after she having her family believe such foolishness that she was a woman only a man could play bounty hunter. "Awwww, I can't believe this Inami Asthavon places a bounty on me trying to come after me and perhaps kill me after the demon can't a fucking joke really that is sad. Then again I can finally expose her......I mean she should be sending Duane DOG Chapman after me but that human wouldn't last ten minutes within the grounds of Hueco Mundo. Then this could lead to one fucking conclusion Inami Asthavon is a man......ALL TO TELEVISION SHOWS ON A&E THAT MAN HAD A SEX CHANGE EVERYTIME." She thought. The crazy arrancar couldn't believe it her favorite program she couldn't watch it anymore but then again maybe it was a joke. Inami Asthavon maybe a man but she can't be Duane DOG Chapman maybe she was one the fugitives that great man capture on his show and maybe Mana had to bail the fugitive out. Then in a twist of fate the fugitive had a sex change and then Inami Asthavon was born that was a major relief because once the arrancar gets some television here in Hueco Mundo. Then perhaps she can watch her favorite television show....

The crazy arrancar wasn't thinking that clearly maybe attacking wasn't going to be easy as their was a bounty on her head still hiding in Hueco Mundo seemed like her only option for survival. The other vasto lordes were really kind to her allowing the crazy arrancar to hide because of those demons most of them hated how some of them were like the Asthavon family. Most of the vastos thought the Asthavon family grew into power too quickly and then their was talk about this rogue demon trying to end all evil conflict among the world to finally bring peace. Annie couldn't believe such a thing could be true a demon of peace the only demon that could be doing such a thing would have to be Kade Hiroshima but that guy was dead. Then something came to thought the demon who saved her life a noble demon who acted the same like the legendary demon hero this didn't make any sense could the legendary hero be back from the dead.

Anastasia El Dante was thinking this needed much research to think such a demon existed maybe the demon with the right help perhaps all the arrancar's problems could come to an end. The only question was will the legendary hero really alive maybe the arrancar will need to find him and perhaps question him the girl has wonder what kind of demon would do such a thing. To her knowledge, Annie believed all demons were just plain evil but maybe she was wrong and some of them could be trusted maybe some demons could help Arrancar. Then a few lesser hollows talked about a human being here that seemed clearly impossible then only one reason the human was here the person maybe want the bounty. This bouny on her seemed ridiculous and then the demon responsible was something dumb individual demon leading the Kardashian lifestyle she too much Mana Kardashian all she need to have a secret sex life hidden from the demon race.

Anastasia and few other hollows started looking around for the human and then one of the hollows alert the arrancar to the human and it was weird. This human was fucking weird it was like she had a cannibal's attitude and certain love for someone's else blood not her own a certain new kind of crazy unlike her. Then again this woman could be looking to cash in the bounty so the arrancar will have to be on her guard who knows what kind of tricks did this human have on her. "The new Hannibal Lecter???....I never knew Anthony Hopkins was trying another level of insanity both movies were pretty good showing his juicy evil side. To think a female like you could reach his level......ridiculous to think you can do what he could. Anyway what is a human doing here??? I get it you want that ridiculous bounty arrancar is hiding in Las Noches trying to steal more from an experimental lab. She lefted about two days ago talking about exposing Inami Kardashian as a man in drag all the other hollows thought it was funny at the time. But I'm trying to help the other hollows here. So what do you want" She said.

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on Mon Jan 22, 2018 1:33 pm


She done and finished

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on Thu Jan 25, 2018 2:43 am


13th Division
13th Division
Okay. The first thing I would highly recommend is to go back and thoroughly proofread your application. There are a lot of spelling and grammatical errors that make it difficult to understand what you're trying to say. I know proofreading can be boring but it helps everyone out. It helps get your application approved faster and it helps the staff grade it more easily. With that out of the way we can get into a few other things.

Strengths & Weaknesses
Typically there isn't a need to write descriptions about your strengths and weaknesses unless one happens to be highly specialized and unknown for some reason. This is because the forum already has a list of stats that can be found here. You would also need to adjust the number of strengths and weaknesses you have. I would recommend the following based on what you have written.

Strengths: Zanjutsu, Strength, Sensing
Weaknesses: Durability, Hakuda

For the boosts I would recommend giving the boosts to all your character's stats to let this her be more balanced during fights with people of similar tiers. Also slashing is not a stat that can be boosted directly. Zanjutsu would be the closest thing.

High Speed Regeneration: This is a racial ability but the effectiveness of it varies by individual. In the ability description for your character you need to give more detailed information. For example how many post does it take to heal certain types of injuries. Superficial injuries may heal instantly but a missing limb may take 2 posts to fully regrow. Also your limit of 7-8 times would need to be adjusted accordingly as healing a minor scratch 7 times wouldn't require near the same amount of reiatsu as regrowing a whole limb.

Darker Telekinesis: Telekinesis is a tricky power. First you will need to list the limitations. How much weight can your character move with it, what is the area of effect and things like that. Also stating it can stop a medium or strong based attack is not enough. You need to quantify what is can stop. Say maybe stopping a Hadou 60 level attacks requires a 1 or 2 post cooldown. We will revisit this once you add more detail to it.

Cero Techniques: Again you don't need to provide detailed descriptions here you can do that during your posts. So just list: Cero, Bala, Gran Rey Cero

Zanpakutou Abilities: Okay this section is very confusing. From what I can gather the character can create spears of varying lengths and numbers. This is reasonable but the way it is described not so much. You need to state the limit of the number of spears she can create or have some other caveat to creating a lot of spears (see below) You say each weapon has double the power of a Shikai weapon. There really isn't a way to quantify this as a Shikai weapon for captain and non-captain level characters would be different. So I would suggest removing this all together as well as the part about the weapons be stronger than bankai weapons.

For the control portion of her abilities this is fine however you need to provide some quantification. How fast are the spears able to move under her control (Cero or Bala speed etc.) and what is the limit in terms of distance for her control over them? Each spear having the power equivalent of Hadou 33 could be problematic especially if used inappropriately. For example, if your character created 14 spears and they all had Hadou 33 power that would be kind of ridiculous. Especially if the spears are persistent and do not expire. One option you have here is to have a single spear that starts out at say Hadou 40 power and each additional spear created splits that original number across all instances of the spears. For example:

1 Spear: Hadou 40
2 Spears: Hadou 20 per spear
3 Spears: Hadou 13 per spear

This could cascade until you reach 40 spears at which point each spear would hold the power of a Hadou 1 put all of them striking together would equate to Hadou 40 damage. This could give your character a lot of utility given the control she has over the spears. It would also allow you to remove the fatigue portion of creating the spears as a single spear is create with Hadou 40 one time and then just reused over and over.

Lanza Arma: Quantify here. How strong is the fused spear? Hadou 50? How long does it stay fused or is it indefinite? How much damage is required to split it back into two separate spears? Hadou 50? What's the post cooldown?

Lanza Arma's Special Ability: What is the range of the whip? How strong is each strike of the whip? Hadou 30? How long in posts is the cooldown before this ability can be used again?

La Raza: For this ability I would just say that the current number of spears out fire at the enemy each with Cero speed. Additionally, you need to quantify the damage from each explosion and say how big the explosions are each. Below is an example if you have 4 spears out.

Each spear does its normal Hadou 10 damage per strike (because we have 4 spears the original Hadou 40 damage is divided by 4 giving each spear Hadou 10 damage)
If the spears make contact a 5 meter diameter explosion occurs at the tip dealing an additional Hadou 20 worth of damage. This would allow each spear in this instance to deal up to Hadou 30 damage which is significant if all 4 hit. - Don't forget to give a post cooldown for this ability.

La Serrar: The concept is okay but the details again need quantified. The biggest thing here is you need to state how much damage the ring can deflect or block. Hadou 70? How much damage would it do if it struck a target? Also what is the cooldown in posts? Instead saying she can only use it twice just give it a cooldown of 2 posts or something with appropriate damage.

For the Segunda Etapa I would recommend you just store those abilities for later and temporarily remove them from your application while you focus on fixing the above. Let me know if you have any questions!


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on Mon Jan 29, 2018 5:05 am


She's fixed Quantum ready to be checked again

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on Mon Jan 29, 2018 10:30 pm


13th Division
13th Division
Thanks for making a round of revisions! See my notes below:


High Speed Regeneration: This looks much better with the cooldowns however you don't need to limit the healing of minor cuts and injuries to 6 times per thread. Really that kind of healin gis superficial and is more stylistic than anything.

Dark Telekinesis: First, you can remove the limit on this per thread. The cooldown from the posts will generally limit how many times you can use it anyway. Second what do you meant by "Cero/Kidou take focus." This is unclear and needs to be fixed. The upper part of your ability set at 20 tons should be okay as another Telekinesis user here, Accelerator, has a low end of his range at 1000 pounds but has no upper limit so I'll let this go.

Cero Derrotar: Since this is an alternative Cero that isn't a standard one on the site you will need to quantify the damage in terms of Hadou and also give it a cooldown.

Pincharcalor-Lanza: This is a good start however there are a few problems. First, the strength of the spears doesn't fall off proportionally to the number of spears. This is problematic because having two spears each having Hadou 40 you actually have a total Hadou 80 at your disposal at any given time without any cooldowns. In fact the total strength of the spears actually increases instead of staying the same (33*3 > 60). So, the scaling needs to be fixed to stay in line with the original number. Additionally, imbuing the spears with different properties is okay but they should be separated out into a different ability that quantifies what each property does and what their cooldowns are in posts.

Lanza Arma: This one is a bit confusing. Are you fusing two spears that are already out or are you creating two new ones just for this technique? Also at Hadou 50 strength you should change the numbers. The duration is too long but so is the cooldown. I would recommend 2 post duration and 2 post cooldown.

Lanza Arma's Special Ability: This is good however at Hadou 30 strength you wouldn't need a cooldown at all if you didn't want it.

La Raza: The concept is okay and the cooldowns might scale up properly but you have to convert the damage from "bombs" into Hadou for each version.

La Serrar: If this has a duration of 3 posts and a cooldown of 6 this seems okay.

Doble Guadaña: This needs elaborated upon. Does each blade strike with Hadou 70 damage? That's a lot if so especially if it lasts for 3 posts. Please try and flush this out more so I know what you're going for. Right now it is hard for me to give direction on it.

Arrancarized Claws: How long can she extend them? Hadou 40 for any slash with no cooldown is quite a lot. I have a character where all of his physical strikes have the power of Hadou but he hasno reiatsu based attacks as a result. For this technique to work you need to lessen the damage it does or give it a cooldown. Also, the percent damage part isn't necessary.

Garra-Acuchillar: If this has the strength of 2 Bala and a cooldown of 2 posts I think this is fine.

Armadura Garra-Acuchillar: This needs to have the speed quantified. Generally, the fastest attack based speed on the site is Bala followed by Cero. Please quantify the speed, the damage in Hadou and the cooldown in post.

Los Infierno: This technique and the related ones don't fit in with your overall character's theme. Previously it had been about puncturing or slashing the enemy. A magma ability doesn't really fit in. We could allow it as a gimmick but it will have to be weakened significantly.

Overall, you've made some good progress. Just deal with the notes above and make sure you proofread again. There are still a lot of errors.


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on Wed Jan 31, 2018 11:22 am


Ready to be checked again

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on Mon Feb 05, 2018 10:50 am



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on Fri Feb 09, 2018 1:11 pm


8th Division
8th Division
Looks good to my eyes. It's not a major issue, but keep in mind that melee-based attacks that have a power scaling should be treated as if they are reiatsu-imbued. All that means is that it does normal melee damage, then the hadou scaled damage in addition.

Aside from that, approved. Other staff are free to redact this though.


Play the game, use all the pieces, leave your cards on the table.

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on Sat Feb 10, 2018 11:28 am


9th Division
9th Division
Approved 1-3

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