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#1 Takeo Himura[Done] on Wed Aug 16, 2017 7:34 am







THE VISORED APPLICATION
Name: Takeo Himura
Alias: N/A
Real Age: 823
Phys. Age: 22
Gender: Male
Personality:
Takeo is absolutely psychotic. His psychosis is so severe that he often ends up attempting to battle himself to the death when he says something that rubs himself the wrong way. To add to the chaos, Takeo's psychosis is accompanied by severe sociopathy. This of course means Takeo alienates and frightens everyone he comes into contact with. Anyone who could even tolerate Takeo would have to be considered equally deranged.  This results in aggressive and abrasive actions and speech as well as an absolutely insane laugh.

Takeo also doesn't have any real goals or a general direction in life due to his mental state. Instead he tends to loosely follow others but is by no means a loyal servant. He is instead more comparable to a wild wolf companion who would kill his companion given the right circumstances. This naturally means Takeo is only ever found with those who are equal in strength or stronger than him.

Finally, the only things that ever seems to somewhat soothe Takeo is music. Its ironic because Takeo is often compared to a savage beast and as the old saying goes Music soothes the savage beast. This is general how Takeo's superiors tend to try and keep him in a "controllable" state.

Prior to his hollowfication, Takeo was a kind and caring soul with a passion for combat and a lame sense of humor. His jokes usually consisted of puns and incredibly dry sarcasm. In his off time Takeo could usually be found pursuing women.



CHARACTER APPEARANCE
Height: 6' 2"
Weight: 160 lbs.
Physical Traits:

In his base form, Takeo has dark black hair and a disturbingly and misleading boyish face. His eyes clearly communicate the lunacy that fuels his soul. Takeo's movements are sporadic, unpredictable, and violent. This results in a chaotic demeanor and idiosyncrasies. Takeo will random bite at the air and smash his teeth together before grinding them and constantly runs his hands through his hair.

Takeo's frame is thin and skeleton like. His arms and legs are long and disproportionate to his torso amplifying his deranged appearance. Takeo always wears a ragged black hoodie, black jeans, and shoes. He carries his zanpaktou around in his hands instead of attaching it to this body.



THE COMBAT INFORMATION
General Fighting Style:
Takeo is an all out brawler. Takeo is able to take absurd amounts of damage while also dishing it out. He attacks his opponents violently and unpredictably in furious waves that never seem to end. Takeo randomly changes between ranged and close quarters combat and excels at both. Takeo does all this while screaming and verbally assaulting whoever is on the other end of his blade. Weak minded opponents generally suffer nervous breakdowns when fighting Takeo due to his almost infectious insanity.
Strengths: Durability, Reiryoku, Reiatsu
Weaknesses: Kidou (Cannot Use), Hakuda

Ability Name: Junkatsu-Zai [Japanese: Lubricant]
Type: Passive
Ability Description:
Takeo creates a rapidly vibrating layer of gray reiatsu all around the surface of his body. The rapid vibrations distort and soften the air around him allowing him to move more easily through it. This gives a constant boost of 1.5x to Takeo's speed.

Ability Name: Ibento seigyo [Japanese: Event Control]
Type: Passive
Description:
Is ability is granted to Takeo through Gyanburā even in its sealed state. This ability allows Takeo to manipulate any chance events such as card draws, dice roles, random gusts of wind etc.

ZANPAKUTO
Sealed Appearance:


Zanpakutou Name: Gyanburā [Japanese: Gambler]

Call Out Command: Yuragi, Gyanburā [Japanese: Fluctuate, Gambler]



SHIKAI
Appearance:


Abilities Overview:
Gyanburā deals with probability manipulation and relentless damage output. At any given time, the probability of a certain event is never 0 percent nor 100 percent. Gyanburā abuses this fact to grant Takeo the ability to skew probabilities in whatever direction Takeo desires as well as powerful offensive capabilities.
Boosts: 2x All

Ability Name: Rōma Sūji "I" [Japanese: Roman Numeral "I']
Type: Active
Description:
The Roman Numeral "I" on Gyanburā glows a blood red to signify this ability's activation. After activation, Takeo is able increase the probability that all factors involved in striking an opponent are at optimal levels for him. This increases Takeo's Strength and Reflexes 1x and deals bonus damage equal to Hadou 20 on a successful strike.
Duration: 2 Posts
Cooldown: 2 Posts

Ability Name: Rōma Sūji "II" [Japanese: Roman Numeral "II']
Type: Active
Description:
The Roman Numeral "II" on Gyanburā glows a blood red to signify this ability's activation. After activation, Takeo is able to decrease the probability that all factors involved in him receiving damage are at optimal levels. This results in a 20 percent damage reduction on the next successful strike against Taeko.
Duration: 2 Posts
Cooldown: 2 Posts

Ability Name: Rōma Sūji "III" [Japanese: Roman Numeral "III']
Type: Active
Description:
The Roman Numeral "III" on Gyanburā glows a blood red to signify this ability's activation. After activation, Takeo is able to increases the probability that all factors involved in Takeo's reiatsu resonating at Gyanburā exact fundamental frequency are optimal. This causes a massive reiatsu sourced power spike in Gyanburā and allows Takeo to  fire a continuous stream of reiatsu that deals Cero damage from Gyanburā. A target can be repeatedly hit by the beam resulting in compounding damage up to Gran Rey Cero levels. The beam has a range of 100 meters and a diameter of 1 meter.
Duration: 1 Post
Cooldown: 3 Posts

Ability Name: Rōma Sūji "IV" [Japanese: Roman Numeral "IV']
Type: Active
Description:
The Roman Numeral "IV" on Gyanburā glows a blood red to signify this ability's activation. After activation, Takeo is able to increase the probability that any random pulses in his reiatsu are focused into Gyanburā. This allows Takeo to give his next opponent stuck "dealer's choice". Additionally, the recipient receives no damage from the initial strike but must make a choice if hit. Takeo cannot use this ability on himself.

Dealer's Choice Effects:
•Take Hadou 40 damage immediately
• Take Hadou 60 damage the post after the dealer's choice is made
• Receive 50 percent damage reduction for 2 posts and then 50 percent damage increase for 2 posts after the reduction posts end
• Add 2 posts to an ability's cooldown currently on cooldown

Duration: 1 Post
Cooldowns:
0 Posts
1 Post
2 Posts
3 Posts

Ability Name: Rōma Sūji "V" [Japanese: Roman Numeral "V']
Type: Active
Description:
The Roman Numeral "V" on Gyanburā glows a blood red to signify this ability's activation. After activation, Takeo is able to oscillate the probabilities involved in random quantum fluctuations. This causes both Takeo and any of his opponents within 50 meters to receive total damage negation of all attacks weaker or equal to Hadou 60.
Duration: 2 Posts
Cooldown: 3 Posts

Ability Name: Rōma Sūji "VI" [Japanese: Roman Numeral "VI']
Type: Active
Description:
The Roman Numeral "VI" on Gyanburā glows a blood red to signify this ability's activation. After activation, Takeo is able to negate the effects on a single opponent from Rōma Sūji "V"  by striking them with Gyanburā . This prevents them from receiving damage reduction. Takeo can only apply this ability to a single opponent. If multiple targets are available the remaining opponents still receive the benefits of Rōma Sūji "V". Additionally, Rōma Sūji "V" must be active for this ability to be used. This ability can only be used once for each duration of Rōma Sūji "V".
Duration: 1 Post
Cooldown: 3 Posts

Ability Name: Rōma Sūji "VII" [Japanese: Roman Numeral "VII']
Type: Active
Description:
The Roman Numeral "VII" on Gyanburā glows a blood red to signify this ability's activation. After activation, Takeo is able to increase the probability that his reiatsu will invert perfectly as he creates 4 concentrated reiatsu orbs resulting in two normal and two inverted reiatsu orbs. On contact, these orbs annihilate each other in blasts that have 10 meter radiuses and deal Hadou 63 damage each. Takeo can launch these orbs at Bala speed at any target. If the orbs do not explode by annihilation (canceling each other out) then each orb can explode on its own each with a 5 meter radius and Hadou 40 damage. Takeo takes no damage from this ability.
Duration: 1 Post
Cooldown: 4 Posts

Ability Name: Rōma Sūji "VIII" [Japanese: Roman Numeral "VIII']
Type: Active
Description:
The Roman Numeral "VIII" on Gyanburā glows a blood red to signify this ability's activation. After activation, Takeo is able to increase the probability that his reiatsu spikes and cycles in rapid succession resulting in all abilities on cooldown being reduced by 1. This does not apply to this ability.
Duration: 1 Post
Cooldown: 4 Posts

Ability Name: Rōma Sūji "IX" [Japanese: Roman Numeral "IX']
Type: Active
Description:
The Roman Numeral "IX" on Gyanburā glows a blood red to signify this ability's activation. After activation, Takeo is able to maximize the probability of a simulated solar eclipse. This results in a simulated total solar eclipse the following post after this ability is used.
Duration: 2 Posts
Cooldown: 6 Posts

Ability Name: Rōma Sūji "X" Purasu "XI" [Japanese: Roman Numeral "X' Plus "XI"]
Type: Active
Description:
In order to activate this ability an active total solar eclipse must be present (simulated or real). The Roman Numerals "X" and "XI" on Gyanburā glow bright white to signify this ability's activation. After activation, Takeo is able to maximize the probability that his reiryoku is spontaneously restored. This gives him an extra reiryoku pool with the energy equivalent of a Hadou 90 to use.
Duration: 2 Posts
Cooldown: 6 Posts



BANKAI
New Name: Fukōna Gyanburā [Japanese: Unhonest Gambler]
Appearance:
Takeo's zanpaktou keeps its same appearance as in Shikai however, Takeo and his zanpkatou are completely enveloped in a mute gray reiatsu. Takeo's eyes turn a deep red and his hair turns white. Addtioanlly, a single large black and gray disc with a the Roman Numeral "L" appears behind and just above Takeo's head.
Abilities Overview:
All Shikai abilities are retained in conjunction with the ones listed below.
Boosts: 3x Durability, Reiryoku, Reiatsu, Stamina, Strength, Agility

Ability Name: Rōma Sūji "L" [Japanese: Roman Numeral "L"]
Type: Passive
Description:
The "L" on the disc behind Takeo permanently glows a blood red. This causes each event of successful ability damage to Takeo to decrease the probability that the next ability will damage Takeo. Following the fifth event of successful ability damage, Takeo can completely break the laws of probability and reduce all incoming damage to 0. This resets Rōma Sūji "L" back to its ground state of 0 damage reduction. Only one stack can be added per post. The following are damage reductions that are applied after the event listed:

1st Event Of Ability Damage: 2 Percent Damage Reduction
2nd Event Of Ability Damage: 4 Percent Damage Reduction
3rd Event Of Ability Damage: 8 Percent Damage Reduction
4th Event Of Ability Damage: 16 Percent Damage Reduction
5th Event Of Ability Damage: 32 Percent Damage Reduction
6th Event Of Ability Damage: Hadou 99 Damage Reduction (Doesn't apply to final attacks)
Duration: NA
Cooldown: Built In Cooldown

Ability Name: Nise Berukābu [Japanese: False Bell Curve]
Type: Active
Description:
The disc behind Takeo begins to spin rapidly increasing the probability that Takeo and any of his targets randomly take damage over the next 6 posts. The damage dealt appears as a spontaneous creation of a ball of reiatsu 10 meters in front of all targets that travels at Bala speeds towards the target. Takeo automatically takes damage all over his body in the form of a burst of reiatsu. This results in escalating random damage to Takeo and his targets as follows:

1st Post: Hadou 5 Damage
2nd Post: Hadou 10 Damage
3rd Post: Hadou 15 Damage
4th Post: Hadou 20 Damage
5th Post: Hadou 25 Damage
6th Post: Hadou 80 Damage

Each occurrence of random damage can add a stack to Rōma Sūji "L".
Duration: 6 Posts
Cooldown: 5 Posts

Ability Name: Zero Josan [Japanese: Division By Zero]
Type: Active
Description:
The disc behind Takeo begins vibrate in random directions rapidly. This negates the effects of Rōma Sūji "L" for the duration of this ability. As a result, the probabilities that "division by zero" occurs in the space around Takeo are maximized. This leads to"undefined" behavior which results in 5 beams of concentrated reiatsu spontaneously forming around Takeo. Takeo can then control the rods with or without direct contact. Each rod is 1 meter long and 3 cm in diameter and Takeo can choose to use them as projectiles or as melee weapons. As projectiles the rods travel in a linear fashion at Cero speeds and deal Hadou 60 damage. As melee weapons, the rods can block or deflect Cero level damage and deal Hadou 60 damage on a successful direct strike. Each rod dissipates after a single successful use.
Duration: Indefinite Until All Rods Are Used
Cooldown: 4 Posts

Ability Name: Junretsu [Japanese: Permutation]
Type: Active
Description:
All the Roman Numerals on Gyanburā flash a blood red rapidly. This allows Takeo to cycle through all the possible permutations of the present moment until he accesses one where two of him exist at the same time. This create two Taekos for a single post. The new Takeo has all the same abilities and stats as the original Takeo at the time of his entrance. This include any active cooldowns, buffs, debuffs, etc. Any damage taken by either Takeo is split 50/50 between each of them and the permuted Takeo only deals 50% damage.
Duration: 1 Post
Cooldown: 6 Posts



MASK
Appearance:

Unlike most Vizard masks, Takeo's is black and red and cover all of his face except his left eye and partially wraps around his head.

Hollow Powers: Bala, Cero, Gran Rey Cero, Cero Double, Hollow Harmonization
Boosts: 33% Durability, Reiryoku, Reiatsu, Stamina, Strength, Agility

Ability Name: Cero Nami[Japanese: Cero Wave]
Type: Active
Description:
Takeo charges a Cero all along the edge of his zanpaktou. This concentrates the energy of a Cero down into a much smaller volume. This allows Takeo to swing his zanpaktou and fire the Cero in a wave that travels at Bala speeds but deals Cero damage. As a trade-off, the effective surface area of the attack is 80 percent smaller than a normal Cero.
Cooldown: 1 Post



FULL HOLLOW FORM
Appearance:

Takeo's appearance stays mostly the same except 4 2 meter long red tendrils erupt from his back.
Abilities Overview:
In his full hollow form, Takeo makes use of the tendrils he gains. In addition, Takeo also gains access to high speed regeneration:
• 1 Post: Minor Wounds
• 2 Posts: Major Wounds
• 3 Posts: Lost Limbs
Boosts: 4x All

Ability Name: Cero Hōgeki[Japanese: Cero Barrage]
Type: Active
Description:
Takeo charges a Gran Rey Cero in each hand and a normal Cero at the end of each of his tendrils. Takeo can fire each Cero individual or in unison at multiple or single targets.
Cooldown: 7 Posts

Ability Name: Bala Ame[Japanese: Bala Rain]
Type: Active
Description:
Takeo charges Bala on each at the ends of each of his tendrils and furiously fires out Bala up into the air that have the power of Hadou 40. The Bala reach a maximum altitude of 100 meters before randomly falling back down. Takeo launches 50 Bala per post for 3 posts. The first Bala do not strike the ground until the post following this abilities activation. Takeo can move freely while channeling this ability.
Duration: 3 Posts
Cooldown: 6 Posts



BACK-DROP
History:
Takeo was a normal youth with exceptional promise to become a great Shinigami. He had naturally high reiatsu and innate combat prowess. He quickly made his way through the Academy and stood out as his zanpaktou's manifested themselves much earlier than his peers. Ironically, he excelled at kidou, a capability he would lose later on.

In his final year at the academy Takeo was drafted into an emergency situation for a massive outbreak of hollows in the real world. It was incredibly rare for academy students to go on missions but not unheard of. Surprisingly, Takeo got placed with a Squad 11 dispatch group - the squad he wanted to be a part of. In the fight against the hollows Takeo performed better than some of the members of the dispatch squad which led the group leader to recommend to their captain that Takeo be placed in Squad 11. To Takeo's delight the captain took this advice.

Takeo started out as an unseated member of the squad but over a few decades made his way to a lower seated position due to his mission success rate and his signs of continued growth. Takeo was actually one of his captain's favorites and as a result the captain spent a lot of time training Takeo.

Takeo proved that his training and combat skills were sufficient to begin taking the lead on missions. He proved this by being the only shinigami in a dispatch squad to survive an encounter with a Menos Grande. Although Takeo was severely wounded he did survived which impressed his captain. Thus, Takeo started leading his own missions. However, one of these missions would forever warp his life.

Takeo was tasked with leading a routine mission to the real world to dispatch some extra troubling hollows. Takeo and his team had no trouble dealing with the insurgents and were about to take their leave when Takeo noticed an odd reiatsu about to leave the area. This reiatsu was that of an arrancar. He told his men to quickly fetch reinforcements as he went to pursue the arrancar.

The arrancar was clearly baiting Takeo into a trap for as soon as Takeo arrived at the arrancar's location the clearly superior arrancar easily overpowered Takeo and took him with him through a garganta to Los Noches. This arrancar was none other than Graven Fel. When Takeo's team finally returned with more men he was gone and his fate was sealed.

Graven Fel had targeted Takeo due to his reiatsu structure and natural combat abilities. The purpose of capturing Takeo was to force him to undergo hollowfication something Graven Fel had been experimenting with for some time. Takeo's hollowfication was a slow, brutal, and painful process that completely mutated him and his mind into an unrecognizable version of his previous self. At the end of it all Takeo had become a Vizard.

In the process of his hollowfication Takeo lost the ability to use any of the kidou he had previously known and instead gained access to to a wide variety of hollow based abilities. The Espada saw great promise in Takeo and kept them as their own. They knew he could not be directly controlled but instead only directed to due their bidding.

Over the following centuries Takeo's power grew into something monstrous as his inner hollow become more and more happy to lend Takeo his power. This of course was only to see Takeo become more hollow like and in Takeo's mentally state he didn't care about this. Eventually Takeo's inner hollow decided to work completely with Takeo giving him access to hollow harmonization.

Takeo's access to hollow harmonization was very unique as he actually gained this ability before he was able to utilize his bankai. This most likely lead to his bankai's unsual physical appearance where his left eye and hair change color even without Takeo donning his mask. Furthermore, Takeo's mask is unique among Vizard's as well as it doesn't cover his full face and his right eye maintains normal coloration. Graven Fel always believed this was caused by the fact that Takeo was on of his original hollowfication subjects and that Takeo's hollowfication followed a different path from other Vizards. His previous encounter with a Menos Grande may have also played a role in how his appearance developed.

With the overthrowing of Graven Fel Takeo has most recently become the strongest Faccion to the Cero Queen. In addition to his new rank Takeo also finally unlocked his full hollow form. As with the rest of his forms, his appearance in his full hollow form is very distinctive as the physical changes to his body are subtle compared to other Vizards.

An interesting point to consider about Takeo's past is his relationship with his zanpaktou. While he was still a shinigami Takeo shared his desire with Gyanburā  to become the strongest version of himself that he possibly could. Given Gyanburā's capabilities it is possible that Takeo's zanpaktou manipulated all the probabilities that would lead to his placement in Squad 11 and his encounter with Graven Fel which would ultimately lead to his hollowfication. Takeo himself consider this possibility during his hollowfication but was unable to contact Gyanburā while he was hollowfying. Of course, after his hollowfication Takeo's mental state prevented him from contacting Gyanburā so this question remains unanswered.

Another interesting point to consider is that perhaps Gyanburā took a piece of Takeo's mind with him when he fell silent and this may the reasoning behind Takeo's current mental state. It is quite possible that the sane shinigami side of Takeo's mind bonded with Gyanburā as Takeo's inner hollow rose to power and warped Takeo's mind. If this is the case then in may be totally possible to pull both Gyanburā and Takeo's sane portion of his mind from their dormant states from within Takeo's soul and return Takeo to his former self. The question is who could accomplish such as task and where would Takeo's allegiances then lie? Would he attempt to reclaim his place in the Gotei 13 and would they even accept him if tried? Perhaps he would become a rogue or something else.

Side Notes: Looking for 0-4 when possible.
Roleplay Sample:
See Example Here



Last edited by Quantum on Sat Sep 02, 2017 7:29 pm; edited 11 times in total

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#2 Re: Takeo Himura[Done] on Thu Aug 31, 2017 5:34 am

Personality, Appearance, and History:
• You're shooting for tier 0-4 on Takeo. As-is, you won't get that. Extend all three of these parts, especially the history. A good rule of thumb is 2x your age in words for your history.


Sealed Abilities:

• Slipstream
• • Every single attack you make gets these effects... I'm not a fan of that, considering it's just your raw power that does it. You don't even particularly have a high strength, given that it's not a "Strength" on your sheet. I'd prefer this be an active ability with a duration and cooldown, or one attack per post.

• Lubricant
• • Agility, being Speed and Reflexes, I don't like you simply getting a 50% increase to. I'd prefer you choose one of them.


Shikai Abilities:

• RN:1
• • Given that this lasts for 2 posts and has a 2 post cooldown, this is fine as-is... except for the Agility part again. Agility = Speed & Reflexes. Choose one of them (does NOT have to be the same as above) and it's fine.

• RN:2
• • This is fine as-is.

• RN:3
• • So for one post, you release a constant Cero from the tip of Gambler, which can deal up to GRC damage if hit by the entire beam? If that assumption is correct, this is fine as-is.

• RN:4
• • Alright, this is our first Reality Warping issue. Since you can't realistically manipulate the probability of a spontaneous dry lightning strike, how about we change this a little bit: Increase the probability of a thunderstorm occurring, give it 2 posts to start, and then have it guaranteed to strike Gambler. Post 1, use RN:4. Post 2, nothing. Post 3, nothing. Post 4, Lightning strikes Gambler, thunderstorm continues for whatever length, and the rest of RN:4's effects activate.
• • Regarding those effects themselves, I'd prefer the cooldown be bumped to 4 posts, and the DoT lowered to 30. It's fine otherwise.

• RN:5
• • So you and all opponents within 50 meters are Invulnerable for 1 post? Limit the damage reduction to a Forbidden Kidou, and this is fine.

• RN:6
• • The only reason this bothers me is because it's automatic. If you had to still hit them with Gambler for this to work, then I would have no qualms with it. Your opponents aren't going to know they're invulnerable for a single post anyway and will likely try to dodge, which prevents this from being guaranteed. You can also lower the cooldown on this to 3 posts, so that this and RN:5 are always up simultaneously. Other than that, please lower the damage INCREASE to 50%.

• RN:7
• • Is Takeo immune to the blast? Say all four collapse in on him for whatever reason. Either way it's fine, but I'm curious.

• RN:8
• • This is fine.

• RN:9
• • We discussed this. Rather than a TRUE Solar Eclipse, reword the ability so that it is a SIMULATED Solar Eclipse.

• RN:10+11
• • I'm gonna ask you to choose one of those two effects. Regardless of which one you choose, give it a 2 post duration. Also, you have "Cooldown Starts after Duration Ends"- Just so you know, that is how all abilities work. Your DoT abilities are different, but your RN:1 lasts for 2 posts, THEN has a 2 post cooldown. Just so you know.

• Event Control
• • We discussed this on Discord, as well. Change it to manipulating the probability of any CHANCE-based event; a die landing on 1, the ace of spades being the next card drawn, a coin landing on its side, etc. Also, you should move this to Sealed Abilities, so you can always use it.


Bankai Abilities:

• RN:L
• • I need a few things clarified on this. If you take damage once, you have 2% damage reduction. If you take damage AGAIN, nothing changes; the THIRD time you take damage, you get 4%. Is that correct? The x Event is AFTER the previous one is activated. To go from 0 to 100% requires 17 hits? If this Assumption is correct, lower the damage you can completely nullify to one Forbidden Kidou, so you can't negate someone's Final, and this is okay.

• False Bell Curve
• • Takeo takes this damage as well, yes? What's the appearance of this though, how would someone go about dodging it? Please elaborate. Fundamentally it's alright, but I need to know how someone could dodge it, because as-is it sounds like you auto hit them.

• Division by Zero
• • Disable RN:L for the entire duration of Division by Zero and this is fine.

• Permutation
• • My only issue with this is that you take that it creates two Takeos for a single post, but the duration is 2 posts. Since the two Takeos can both deal damage, I'd prefer the Duration read as 1 post.


Mask Abilities:

• Cero Wave
• • This is completely fine. You could even lower the cooldown to 1 post (aka, every other post you can use this). if you drop the bala speed, you can even use it every post.


Full Hollow Form Abilities:

• High Speed Regeneration
• • Please Quantify this. I believe forum standard is currently "Minor wounds take 1 post, large wounds take 2 posts, and lost limbs take 3 posts to heal." If you have "Average" HSRegen, that should be your Quantification.

• Cero Barrage
• • Keep in mind how much energy this would use... but it's fine. Lower the cooldown to 5, due to the energy use, and I'm alright with it.

• Bala Rain
• • ...Again, this is an insane amount of energy. 200 Bala is probably close to a Forbidden Kidou worth of reiatsu. Provided you do not try to game the system by manipulating the probability that they all happen to fall exactly where your opponent will be, this is fine. You can use Probability to manipulate their course, and make them fall closer to your opponent, but do not under any circumstance imply an auto-hit. It's fine, if you understand this.


Other Notes:

• I provided a comment on every ability, even ones which were fine as-is, to guarantee that I did read them all, consider them independently and together. I would like to make sure that I'm correct in my assumptions before I even think about approving this, however.

• In Shikai, you have 10/11 abilities that all rely on your Zanpakutou. In my head, you cannot use these abilities together. You can only ever have 1 active at a time. Which means if Takeo uses RN:1, it lasts for 2 posts, so he cannot use any of the others until RN:1 ends. Most of the others only have a single post Duration, so it would simply be activating one per post, but the ones which do last longer (RN:1, RN:2, RN:10+11) effectively prevent you from using any of the other ones. Is this correct?



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#3 Re: Takeo Himura[Done] on Thu Aug 31, 2017 10:57 pm

Personality, Appearance, and History:
I elaborated in these areas especially the history. I don't like to add too much fluff or detail because I like to reveal/build things in character.

Slipstream:
I just removed this. Looking at it I think it was a stupid gimmick.

Lubricant:
Fixed

RN:1:
Fixed

RN:3:
Your assumption is correct. I tried to reword it to make it more clear.

RN:4:
Went in a completely different more unique direction. Let me know what you think.

RN:5:
Fixed

RN:6:
Fixed

RN:7:
He is immune to the blasts. I change the ability to explicitly state this.

RN:9:
Fixed

RN:10+11:
Fixed

Event Control:
Moved to sealed and modified.

RN:L:
Changed the wording to make it more understandable and change the final level of damage reduction. Let me know.

False Bell Curve:
Fixed. Added how the damage will be dealt.

Division by Zero:
Fixed

Permutation:
Fixed

Cero Wave:
Lowered cooldown

High Speed Regeneration:
Quantized/specified

Cero Barrage:
Yes

Bala Rain:
Yes and I won't game the system

Last Point:
The abilities cannot be used together unless they have a duration specified. If a duration is given than another ability can be used during that duration. Additionally, abilities may be used in succession in posts if they only have a single post duration.

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#4 Re: Takeo Himura[Done] on Thu Aug 31, 2017 11:34 pm

Appearance/Personality/History • • •
Combined, you have a total of 777 words. Given the tier you're shooting for, please up this to a combined total of 1500. I get that you want to keep things a mystery to an extent, and that's fine, but History is rarely known IC except by your character, and even then Amnesia is a thing. I know it kind of sucks, but regulations are regulations.

Strengths/Weaknesses
Thank you.

Lubricant
Thank you.

RN:1
Thank you.

RN:4 • • •
Remove Lockout and this is fine.

RN:5
Thank you.

RN:6
Thank you.

RN:7
Thank you.

RN:9
I expected you to elaborate on the How, knowing you, but it's fine regardless. Thank you.

RN:10+11
Thank you. Keep in mind cooldowns are unaffected by this, so you cannot use two Hado90s (even though you can't use Kidou) in the same duration.

Event Control: Thank you.

RN:L • • •
So after 6 instances of damage, you become invulnerable for 1 post... please add in that you can only advance one stage in RN:L per post, meaning at best you can be "Invulnerable" once every 6th post.

False Bell Curve • • •
Increase the range to 10 meters, and make Takeo unable to dodge it. Since it's your character, you can auto-hit yourself. Make it just appear on top of you or something akin to that.

Division by Zero
Thank you.

Permutation
Thank you.

Cero Wave
Thank you.

High Speed Regeneration
Thank you.

Cero Barrage
Thank you.

Bala Rain
Thank you.

Last Point • • •
I see RN:5 and RN:6 being used together as basically a requirement. Would it be "technically" possible, by your wording here, for Takeo to activate all 10 abilities (discounting ability 9, assuming theoretically there is already a solar eclipse) in a single post?


• • • - This means that these points must be addressed.



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#5 Re: Takeo Himura[Done] on Fri Sep 01, 2017 1:01 am

Everything should be fixed and to address your last point I suppose it would be "technically" possible although it would be very imprudent and not in line with Takeo's fighting style. Using all the abilities at once would leave Takeo relatively defenseless when fighting an opponent of his strength or stronger. Also, Takeo is not a burster and prefers to output high sustained levels of damage instead of massive bursts of damage.

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#6 Re: Takeo Himura[Done] on Fri Sep 01, 2017 1:06 am

Staff make mistakes. Myself, being new to this to an extent, make more mistakes than usual.

Bala Rain
Cooldown: 6 Posts
Duration: 3 Posts

I misjudged this ability. After looking at it again, I'm going to ask that you fix it with the above changes.

Permutation
You have a choice for this - Off the record, I would advise Choice A:
• Choice A: Both [Real Takeo] and [Clone Takeo] take and share 50% of the damage they would otherwise take. [Clone Takeo] only deals 50% of the damage he would deal, due to cosmic interference trying to separate the two realities again.
• Choice B: Both [Real Takeo] and [Clone Takeo] take and share full damage from all attacks that hit them. [Clone Takeo] deals 75% of the damage he would otherwise deal. Lethal attacks, or 4 total attacks, will cause the [Clone Takeo] to disappear instantly.

Cero Barrage
I was incorrect. Please put the cooldown to 7 posts, due to the number of attacks fired off.

RN:5 & RN:6
We're gonna need to change these a little bit. My suggestion would be as follows:
• RN:5 - Takeo releases a pulse of energy, causing everything within 50m of Takeo, including Takeo himself, to receive total immunity to all attacks weaker than Hado 60 (standard Cero). This lasts for 2 posts with a 3 post cooldown.
• RN:6 - If Takeo lands a melee hit on someone under the effect of RN:5, they lose the effect of RN:5. This can only be used once while RN:5 is active.

RN:10+11
Please clarify the wording. Are you restoring your reiatsu, or negating the drain of it? As-is, it looks like you're doing both.



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#7 Re: Takeo Himura[Done] on Mon Sep 04, 2017 5:03 am

Approved at tier 0-5.



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#8 Re: Takeo Himura[Done] on Mon Sep 04, 2017 5:58 am

Seconding but watching, some of the mechanics are new to me and may require slight alterations after I see them but for now I am seconding and approving.

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