A Gift For Kokoro (Private)

The sun had begun to set, and her mind had already been made up. She couldnt burry the girl to be left all alone in the cold, dark ground, and she certainly couldn't allow her to rot within the Squad 4 Morgue where she would be seen daily. Her own child... she couldn't protect her own child. Her own flesh and blood had been sprawled upon a metal table being preserved for what? Her body would decay eventually and her life would be but a memory. The ground was no place for any princess and decomposition isn't the route Mei had in mind either. She never had any of it in mind. She never thought her own child would die. She couldn't protect her. The only thought she possibly had to do with the small blonde was a crazy, yet genious one. At least she wouldn't be in Mei's sight and she would be somewhere that she could be of use. The woman could only think of the many things that could be done with her corpse but at least, the girl would be in a better place.

Mei would have the child wrapped in a blanket within her arms as she carried the hidden body towards its, hopefully, new destination. The walk semed so long and dreary. It was full of questioning and doubts. However, she couldn't bear to keep this corpse any longer and she couldn't build up enough courage to dispose of it. Soon enough, Mei would walk up on the Squad 12 barracks stopping before the enterance, "I know someone is here. I'd like to speak with Captain Nashi, please." Mei voice sounded quite stern, yet also quite pleading. Pink eyes never looked away from straight in front of her and her mind never ceased its thoughts.

"Mei Tsaki.. To what do I owe the pleasure of your appearance in my squads barracks and.. what.. the.. why?.." Kokoro was confused and his mind moved a mile a minute. Why the hell had Mei brought her daughters corpse to his doorstep, why was she so petrified and scared, why was that thing not buried.. "Captain Tsaki I.. I must point out that it's been several weeks.. Preservatives will only keep her in such a state for at best a couple weeks more and.. if you need help with the burial I'd be more than happy to.. Well not happy, but I'd.. I.. yikes.." Kokoro looked at her, clearly as awkward and concerned as she was, "What have you come to ask of me Ms. Tsaki?.."

Her eyes had finally directed themselves towards the ground in a state of pure worry, anxiety, and depression. What was she going to tell him? What was it that she could say to convince him? Instead of her speaking off the bat, Kokoro had managed to ask of her a few questions and confirm the knowledge of preservatives that she already had. Her heart began to beat a mile a minute, however she knew her temper or any outburst wouldn't do any good in this situation. So, what had she come to ask of him? "P-Please, listen to me. You were right. I was the worst mother, but I won't burry my child. I won't.. I-I can't.
I know I can't let her rot. She was too pure, too sweet, and I'm so disgusted with myself. I don't want to see her look at me the way she once did... but I-I want you to take her body. Please.. take her.. do whatever you like with her.. just please... dont let her waste away," pink eyes will fill with pain and tears as she seemed to barely be able to stand. She never wanted this to happen. She never thought this much pain would be brought to her own child. She should have listened. She shouldn't have let things come so far. What kind of worthless woman was she?

She was clearly not in any right state of mind as her eyes portrayed an interesting mix of depression, anxiety, and loss, which one might expect given the current circumstances.. Kokoro was patient, not wanting to discourage her or to impede on what she wanted to say, for he knew as a Shinigami if there was one thing he had it was nothing but time..She stumbled over her first words and stuttered and Kokoro listened intently to her pleas, doing his best to discern them through her panicked and otherwise emotionally toxic mental state as of the current time.. As she said she was the worst mother in the world Kokoro put out a hand to stop her "That's not true, that was a heat of the moment thing, it could've happened to anyone.." As she continued on Kokoro listened confused...

What was she asking of him?.. As he looked at the corpse and she made her intentions clear he slowly raised his head from the body,
to Mei, to the body, and back to Mei.. "I.. Captain Tsaki you will not want to see your daughter in the same way as my young daughter Yume.. It is heartbreaking to know that the life they once had is gone, but it is easier to remember them as they were than what they are... Please be sure of this before we do anything drastic.. If you need time to think on this you're more than welcome to take all the time you need.." He could see she was pained, she was suffering from the ordeal but he didn't want to do this and be resented for it later on.. He didn't want her to make a decision now she couldn't reverse later on and come to regret it... He had to be sure that she knew what exactly, she was signing her little girl up for..

This could have happened to anyone else? This could have happened to another mother with a similar sweet, young, innocent child who knew no better than mommy saying "everything will be ok"? Any other woman could have seen their small child torn to shread, bloodied, and scarred because of their inability to protect them, even though they're supposed to have the strength and ability to protect a whole squad of people? No other mother could possibly understand what that was like. No other mother could possibly understand that their first AND second chances at protecting their child was a failure. What sort of lie was he trying to get her to believe? No.. it wasn't a lie.. it was simply comforting statements that she couldn't comprehend into what he was trying to convince her. She simply couldn't forgive herself.

He spoke more about her being like his own daughter to which Mei would be a bit surprised. She had no idea that he had his own child. Perhaps, this was why he had been so harsh on her that day he brought Emi back to her. Perhaps, he was simply trying to get her to understand, however she hadn't taken him seriously at the thought that he was simply worse than he truley was. She had been so young before that she had no idea how to raise a child on her own, but she still tried her hardest. Her hardest had led her to the same fate as this time, mayne she had learned nothing from her previous experience and the many years alive. This man had only given her yet another reason to let her go. When he asked her if she wanted to think about it, tears strolled down her cheeks, "Kokor-
I mean.. Captain Nashi, please. I've spent weeks thinking and deciding. I've watched her lifeless body for far too long and contemplated many hours more than I should have. You're my best option.. so.. please..
Please don't make me change my mind!" The blonde Captain would look to Kokoro with tear filled pleading eyes. She meant what she said and she said what she meant. Mei didn't want to bury the girl, she didnt want to let her rot, and she sure as hell didn't want her anywhere close to her every again. "I'm not what's best for her and never will be," Mei would whisper as she gripped the body tightly before releasing the grip slowly.

As she spoke and almost said his name, he did not respond to the first error which wasn't caught on time because by this point he couldn't care, this was a hopeless mess unraveling before his eyes and there was little he could do to stop it.. As she spoke to Kokoro being her best option he sighed, and rubbed his temples lightly.. He had to just get this over with, he needed this to stop.. And then, after carefully calculating and pondering what he would say he took a deep breath.. He held up a finger for her to wait and brought out an operating chamber about her size.. "I'll need you to heal the heart and brain.. so I can get her to function again.. hold your hands on her chest and head and use your best Medical Kidou.. When the heart is repaired and could, in theory, pump blood again.. And when the brain damage is less severe and she could function.. Place her in this chamber and I will take her in and fix her.."

It was uncomfortable, but he'd be stupid to turn down this opportunity, and to allow this to drag on longer than it had to... He discreetly placed a letter in the hands of Yume and sent her off to notify the Captain Commander of what was about to be done, and what had taken place, since Kokoro had been jotting it down with a tentacle behind his back the whole time.. He knew he'd need to document this deal.. And he was sure to have a voice recorder picking up the encounter as well, which he would keep for private evidence.. "Once that's done I will begin.. I'm sorry again.."

The blonde Captain would wait in anticipation as the man before her signaled for her wait. The longer she waited the more drained her body began to feel. Mei wished this was over, she hoped it would only be a few moments longer, and she wanted this small corpse to find its new life with Kokoro. After a moment of standing and waiting, some sort of weird holding chamber thing was brought out before her pink orbs. Mei had never seen anything like it and wondered what else these Squad 12 weirdos had geniously in store. Then, Kokoro would let her know exactly what was needed of her and what to do when she was finished with his request. The blonde would lie the girl upon the ground before kneeling in front of her, then she would hesitantly place her hands upon the girl.

Considering the corpse had been taken such good care of at the Squad 4's morgue, Mei wouldn't have to take very much time fixing the inner damage. However, she couldn't help but feel the pain of mwmories that flooded through her. She remembered the child hugging Mei close to her chest when she was sleepy or sad. She remembered the girls smile as she brough Mei flowers from the garden. She remembered the way the child would dance around and sing songs that didn't even make sense to her, but she loved it anyway. Tears would well up in the blonde's eyes, however none would escape. As soon as the kidou was finished, Mei would stand with a completely emotionless face before lifting the corpse and placing her in the chamber. After doing so, Mei would step back towards the exit, "That you, Captain Nashi. She's yours now." The woman would then exit the barracks and return to her own.

[/exit]

As the woman did as asked and left the area Kokoro sighed, carrying the corpse into his barracks.. He took a look at it and cast it aside.. He didn't want to look or think about it till the next day.. Soon he'd be drawing up sketches for what he wanted to do with it, for how he could engineer the thing but it was not to be today.. Not today...

-Exit-