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#1 Shingen Minamori on Mon Mar 27, 2017 5:01 pm

ShingenOnline

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9th Division
9th Division




THE VISORED APPLICATION
Name: Shingen Minamori
Alias: 'Shin' or 'The Mirror'
Real Age: 109
Phys. Age: 35
Gender: Male
Personality:
Spoiler:
Shingen isn't like any normal person. Mostly because his life has been on such a rollercoast that he doesn't even know how to judge it himself any longer. However, he isn't the same person as he once was in the past. If any person were to approach him now, they would certainly notice.

Shingen still evalutations situations before jumping in, however, now he also takes other things into consideration other than simply the success of the mission. There are other things that matter to him that are just as, if not more, important than the mission. Never thought he would believe in such things again but something was able to.

Attitude: Shingen has a straight-forward attitude. If you are honest with him, he will be honest with you. If you are rude with him, he will teach you manners, whether he must be nice or rough to do it. If you do him a favor, he will return the favor. If you need help with anything, he will offer his help and see what he can do. The most important thing about Shingen is that he focuses on establishing, maintaining, and protecting bonds.

Shingen is now in possession of something to fight for. He will do whatever it takes to not only protect the balance but now his most prized possession. If anyone wishes to know what that is, they are most welcome to ask him in person.

Likes: First off will be Shingen. Beginning with communication, you must be able to communicate with others which is very important to Shingen. It’s a huge staple when trying to establish peace in Soul Society and Human World. Second, is his relaxation when not on duty. When he isn’t performing any of his responsibilities, it becomes important for Shingen to rest up and conserve his strength for when he is needed. Shinigami never know when they may be called into action, specifically the higher ranking officers such as himself. Last, but not least, is the time he takes to enjoy the smaller things that make up the finer things in life. Things like the sunrises and sunsets, holding hands with those close to you, and eating a really good tasting meal. These things can be so easily looked over and not enjoyed for what they are worth. Shingen takes moments to give them some appreciation.

Dislikes: The amount of dislikes have now increased due to the amount of personalities Shingen must carry within him from this point forward. Shingen may dislike certain things for certain reasons but Desmond on the other hand, has his own set of dislikes, which are completely different, for completely different reasons.

Shingen doesn’t appreciate being asked about his scar. It brings back a horrible memory of his first mission after being commissioned as a Shinigami. How would anyone else feel being asked about anything that holds bitter memories for them? He dislikes enemies who totally disrespects the meaning bonds and uses them as sign of weakness. Bonds between people should always be a sign of strength and purpose. This is what Shingen believes and fights for.  The final thing that Shingen dislikes is being woken up in the middle of the night. The only thing related to this more irritating is being woken up for something that could have waited until the next morning or served no purpose in the beginning.


Fears: Fears. Situations that cause one to feel feelings of great uncertainty and undeciveness which lead extreme doubts in success going forward. Shingen is one who does whatever he can to avoid allowing his fears to become reality as they do exist in the furthest back corner of his mind. It is one of the driving reasons he fights the way he does.

Shingen doesn’t want to be in a place where he has no bonds with anyone. Not having any connections with anyone will not provide him that reason for existence and it will also take away a lot of reasons he has to fight. Shingen definitely doesn’t want to be in a place where no one will bond with him from that point forward. That situation will leave his future completely empty and who can do anything with a blank life? To be completely alone is that his ultimate fear for Shingen.

Dreams/Desires: Dreams/Desires are what drive a person to wake up each day. They are the building blocks for the strength that person wields. So the question now becomes, what are the dreams/desires for Shingen and Desmond? Do they share any or are they still completely opposite as they have been so far by comparison.

Shingen: 1. Restore dignity to the Gotei and Soul Society by first teaching his Division 9 that bonds are not a sign of weakness by any means but instead are sources of strength and inspiration to carry on the fight. 2. To rebuild the Gotei to an organization to be feared by all outside forces, give souls the feeling that Soul Society is safe to come to and nothing will happen to them while they are there.



CHARACTER APPEARANCE
Height: 7'
Weight: 249 lbs
Physical Traits: Deep red hair that reaches down to the bottom of his neck, a long scar across his face, three smaller scars on his right shoulder, 7', about 249 lbs, nicely tanned brown skin color, and bright blue eyes.
Spoiler:
Clothing: Shingen's uniform is a forest green top that's sleeveless, black long scarf, black arm sleeves that are from the top of his bicep to back of his hand, black pants, black ninja tabis, and his zanpaktou.
Accessories:  No accessories



THE COMBAT INFORMATION
General Fighting Style: Shingen's fighting style is to find his opponents as quickly as possible and dispose of them before they have a chance to become a threat. If they are already a threat, he will become a larger threat and eliminate them still...one way or another. He has a number of ways to pull this off but his job within the Gotei calls for him to keep all other powers in existence in line while not becoming a threat to the Gotei in and of itself. By doing this, Shingen is an Expert in Zanjutsu, Reiatsu and Reiryoku. He isn't proficient in Kido and Hakuda but no one is the greatest in all things. His zanpaktou's abilities support his physical strengths and battle tactics/strategies.
Strengths: Zanjutsu, Reiatsu, Reiryoku
Weaknesses: Kido, Hakuda
Ability Name: [Characters are allowed 1-2 personal abilities.]
Ability Description: [These can be combat oriented or roleplay oriented.]


ZANPAKUTO
Sealed Appearance: Traditional katana with a dark orange/red hilt wrapping, black sheathe, and an engraving of an eye on the hilt
Zanpakutou Name: Akuma Me (Devil Eye)
Call Out Command: Reflect One’s Inner Truth, Akuma Me (Devil Eye)


SHIKAI
Appearance: Akuma Me transforms from the traditional katana into a broadsword. The hilt becomes a dark onyx and in the middle of the hilt is a small square crystal. The blade is a dark iron except for the tip which is made of the same crystal. The crystal is unbreakable.
Abilities: The main ability of Akuma Me is to manipulate Astral Fire and Umbral Ice into both an offensive and defensive weapon. It's ability is to use them to create up to 3 doubles of the Shingen that mimic his movements but can’t deal any damage however they produce elemental bursts based upon what element is used to create the clones when they are destroyed. The more doubles Shingen creates, the shorter length he can maintain them and longer the cooldown to use them again.

ASTRAL FIRE
Shingen can create and manipulate White Flames from any point on his body, burning anything they touch and causing second degree burns to flesh. Because these flames are White, they burn at a temperature of 1,500°C, and will melt and evaporate regular ice and water instantly on contact. Ice and Water which are controlled by another Spiritual Being will melt or put out the fire based on who is stronger. Astral Fire will melt and be put out if it comes in contact with Umbral Ice.

UMBRAL ICE
Shingen can create and manipulate Black Ice from any point on his body, freezing anything it touches and causing second degree frostbite to flesh. Because the ice is Black, it is -200°C, and can freeze around the form of regular fire, putting it out but remaining in its stead. Fire which is controlled by another Spiritual Being will be put out or melt the ice based on who is stronger. Umbral Ice will put out and be melted if it comes in contact with Astral Fire.

Shikai Techniques:

1 double is worth 3 posts and 1 cooldown.
2 doubles is worth 2 posts and 2 cooldown.
3 doubles is worth 1 post and 3 cooldown.
(Any double that is destroyed produces a elemental effect corresponding to that which they are created from worth 1 post per double destroyed at one time which would increase the effect of the element. i.e. if 2 doubles are destroyed at the same time, the element would be twice as hot/cold as both of their explosions would be going off at the same time and the effect would last 2 posts)

[AU]RAIN
Shooting a large amount of energy into the sky, Shingen can create an atmospheric catastrophe, causing it to rain down with the element he sent up for 2 posts in a 100-yard diameter from his current position. This ability has a 5 post cooldown for each element, and cannot be used with both elements at the same time.

[AU]NOVA
Erupting with spiritual force, Shingen releases a large nova of either Astral Fire or Umbral Ice, spreading for 20m in any direction from him. Astral Fire will ignite everything in this range, and burn most other things. Umbral Ice will freeze everything in this range, including the ground, making it ice, and difficult to walk on. Each Nova has a 5 post cooldown, but cannot be used in the same post.

[AU]BULLET
Shigen can create up to 20 fireballs or shards of ice that are 6 inches long at any point within 10m of his body, and send them in any direction of his choosing. This ability can be used once per post per element, and the bullets are identical to a Bala, save for the elemental effects.



BANKAI
New Name: Akuma Me Tsuinmajikku (Devil Eye Twin Magic)
Appearance: Akuma Me Tsuinmajikku doesn't change in appearance from shikai.
Abilities: Akuma Me Tsuinmajikku does not have another ability. It's bankai ability is just an amplification of it's shikai and consumes an extraordinary amount of reiatsu from Shingen since he hasn’t had much time with it. The doubles have the same duration and cooldown times but have now gained the ability to deal damage and when they are destroyed produce a temporary blinding glare. Shingen also gained the ability to create complete doubles but hasn’t mastered this ability yet and can only produce 1. Complete doubles are exact duplicates of Shingen, even down to his spiritual pressure.

1 double is worth 3 posts and 1 cooldown.
2 doubles is worth 2 posts and 2 cooldown.
3 doubles is worth 1 post and 3 cooldown.
(Any double that is destroyed produces a elemental effect corresponding to that which they are created from worth 1 post per double destroyed at one time which would increase the effect of the element. i.e. if 2 doubles are destroyed at the same time, the element would be twice as hot/cold as both of their explosions would be going off at the same time and the effect would last 2 posts)

1 complete double is worth 2 posts and 2 cooldown.
(Any double that is destroyed produces a elemental effect corresponding to that which they are created from worth 1 post per double destroyed at one time which would increase the effect of the element. i.e. if 2 doubles are destroyed at the same time, the element would be twice as hot/cold as both of their explosions would be going off at the same time and the effect would last 2 posts)

TRANSPOSE
By releasing a nova of pure energy from his center of mass, Shingen can instantly target all water, ice and fire within 50m of himself and reverse their very nature, causing fire to become water, water to become ice, and ice to become fire. This does not work on any of those elements which are controlled by another Spiritual Being, and the transposed elements do not have Shingen/Desmond's Astral or Umbral qualities.

ENERGY RAY
With an open palm, Shingen can combine his elements to create pure energy, that takes on neither element's quality, and blast it off. This ability is nearly identical to a Cero once it's fired off, and can be used up to twice in one post with a one post cooldown.

ENERGY BLAST
Placing his palms together, Shingen can combine his elements to create pure energy, that takes on neither element's quality, and blast it off. This ability is nearly identical to a Gran Rey Cero once it's fired off, and can be used once every three posts.



MASK
Appearance:
Spoiler:
Abilities: Wearing his mask consumes an extraordinary amount of reiatsu from Shingen even beyond that of the level of Bankai level and that ain't no bluff. The doubles have the same duration and cooldown times but have now gained the ability to take more damage while retaining the abilities to deal damage and when they are destroyed produce a explosion of the element they were created from. Shingen also gained the ability to create an additional complete double. Complete doubles are exact duplicates of Shingen, even down to his spiritual pressure.]
Hollow Powers: Bala and Cero
Boosts: [When using your mask, you get a 33% increase to certain stats; unlike other boosts, you can only apply this to up to 3 total stats, but they have diminishing returns; the more stats you choose, the less effective they actually are.]


FULL HOLLOW FORM
Appearance: In Full Hollow Form, Shingen's mask now covers his entire head as his Gotei uniform turns solid black. His hair grows down to his back as his skin grows to an onyx black. The only things still white are his teeth and eyes.
Abilities: In Full Hollow Form, every double is a complete double giving them every detail that Shingen has in his Full Hollow state, including the newest one. This new ability gives Shingen the ability to fuse both elements together for even more creative and dangerous possibilities with his doubles and the environment around him. Add in his Hollow Abilities to boot and you have one of the most powerful and dangerous Vizards alive. The cost to this, each double has a cooldown twice a long as before. Refer to above and double the time on the doubles.

UMBRAL FIRE
By combining his elements, Shingen can create Black Flames which are unique in that they defy logic, burning at -200°C. This ability can be used to replace Astral Fire in any of Shingen's other abilities, but have the freezing properties of Umbral Ice instead. This element drains twice the amount of energy as any other ability, because Shingen/Desmond has to combine the two elements. Once Shingen/Desmond reaches his peak power, this ability can be used for a maximum of 5 posts, and then has a 10 post cooldown before being used again.

ASTRAL ICE
By combining his elements, Shingen can create White Ice, which is unique in that it defies logic, being at a constant state of 1500°C. This ability can be used to replace Umbral Ice in any of Shingen's other abilities, but has the burning properties of Astral Fire instead. This element drains twice the amount of energy as any other ability, because Shingen has to combine the two elements. Once Shingen reaches his peak power, this ability can be used for a maximum of 5 posts, and then has a 10 post cooldown before being used again.

Boosts: [In this release, you get a 4x boost; you can apply this to as many 'stats' as you want (strength, speed, durability, etc) but they're diminishing returns; the more you have, the less effective they actually are.]


BACK-DROP
History:
Spoiler:
Shingen Minamori is a man who once came from a happy human world childhood till he was held hostage in a burglary by a thief. His parents were ready to give up anything they had to the thief in exchange for a safe return of their son, however once the thief got all they had to offer he walked out holding Shingen as leverage and killed him anyways just before running off into the night by stabbing him with a knife. Shingen's spirit didn't move on though and held onto his parents’ home as he wondered why they allowed the thief to kill him, blaming them for his death. It wasn't long afterwards though, that a shinigami came and performed a Konso sending him to Soul Society.

After arriving in Soul Society, Shingen's new life began. He needed to find a way to life and figure it out fast in order to make it. A few years later, Shingen and his friends were in the forest playing around when they spotted a battle in the distance. It was a Gotei 13 captain and his Lt. battling a hollow that snuck into Rukongai forest and was devouring the campers or passersby to keep its presence hidden and keep the kill count low in order to avoid arousing the attention of the Gotei 13. Shingen's friends all decided they didn't want to hang around any longer for their safety and they should head back to town but Shingen hung around and watched. Once the Captain released his Shikai, increasing his reiatsu, it reached where Shingen was standing and it rendered him unconscious. The hollow was defeated and the Lt. spotted Shingen laying so they tended to him before taking him back to town. The Captain stayed with him until he reawaked, making sure he was ok. Shingen had never been this close to a Shinigami before and he was speechless as the Captain was speaking to him but he did manage to nod that he was ok. It was then that Shingen decided he wanted to join the Gotei 13 and become a Shinigami.

When Shingen became old enough, he enlisted into the Gotei 13’s Academy. This was the first step for him to become one of the famous 13 Gotei Court Division Captains. Shingen heard many stories of how so many step beyond the doors of the Academy and numbers of them don’t last very long. The training must be very intense and take quite the time in order to learn all they need their students to learn. Either way, Shingen was going to go all the way…from beginning to end and graduate as high as possible. He went through it all, grueling physical training, Zanpakuto swordsmanship, diplomacy and tactics, then last but certainly not least…kido. During his time in the Academy, Shingen met a female that he established a strong bond with.

Years later, Shingen went through the Academy and graduated to officially become a Shinigami of the Gotei 13. On his first official mission, he came face to face with his first Hollow. The battle was rough and thankfully he wasn't alone. However, he didn't walk out unscathed as he earned his a very large scar across his chest from the talon from the Hollow. One that remains to this day as reminder to Shingen that the enemy won't show or give you mercy. Shingen realized that day that he almost lost everything that he worked so hard to gained almost as quickly as he had earned it. All of those skills, the spells, and most of all..the bond he made would be gone. It was because of this that he determined that bonds would become the most important thing to him and what he would fight for and defend from that day forward.

Now, as a seat of his division, Shingen plans to incorporate his visions into his subordinates. Once they get the message and begin to show his message in their battles, perhaps it can spread to other Divisions and outward to the rest of the Soul Society itself. From there, Shingen really hopes it spreads between other powers that exist. The more peace that exists between all of the major powers, the better off they all will be in the end. That is what Shingen ultimately wants. He realizes that not everyone will go along with it willingly at first and there will be battles that will be fought but those battles can be used as more messages in his eyes.

However…tragedy reared its head again for Shingen as he returned to his Division’s barracks one day. You would’ve thought that now that years had passed and he had become settled into this new life that nothing could go wrong for him. Well, apparently, someone in someplace felt otherwise on this particular day. Shingen was doing extremely well in spreading his message within his Division. So well in fact that even members of other Divisions were beginning to pick up on it and spread it themselves. He had the perfect Captain heading over his Division that he established a bond with and reinforced Shingen’s message strongly. Shingen was not only a successful Seat member of Division 13 but he had also gotten married over the years. That woman that he established a bond with since his Academy days is now his wife. By this point, he was even considering having children when the sight he saw changed not only his mind on that but many other things. His wife was in the arms of his Captain and it wasn’t just a simple hug as they were lip locked in a kiss. Shingen learned in that moment that many of those beliefs that he fought so hard to defend and fight for weren’t as true as he thought and decided to leave not only the Gotei 13 but the Soul Society altogether. Without warning to anyone, Shingen grabbed a small bag of necessities and disappeared in order to find the answers to the questions that now burned within him and about the world in which he lived in.

After living in the World of the Living for so many decades, Shingen found the peace he was looking for. Was he able to find the answers he was looking for to the questions that forced him to leave the Soul Society in the first place? Well, he got some but he also realized that while he did become a stronger person during his time away...it also left things open that can only be answered when he's around people. So with that sitting on the back of his mind day by day, he knows and accepts that one day he WILL have to return to the Soul Society. It's the only way he can officially put away everything in his past and move forward as both a man and a shinigami.

As time moved forward, a day came where Shingen felt something he hadn't felt in many, many years coming close to where he made a home in the World of the Living. Spiritual Energy. They weren't Hollows either...so who could have energy this strong and know he was there? He would soon find out that it was a human that got pretty strong and was a bounty hunter. Shingen wasn't exactly the target but it didn't mean he couldn't become a nice warm-up for the hunter on the way to his target. Shingen did all he could to avoid any fighting when another energy signature made a sudden appearance, those it wasn't familiar by person..it was familiar by race. It was another shinigami. Shingen was both elated by curious at the same time on why the appearances of such powerful ppl as this shinigami was no recruit...it was a Captain. A battle did erupt with the visiting Captain returning back to Soul Society with Shingen in tow. He knew he would return one day.

Time would pass after he gained a new home in a new Division under the Captain Commander. Shingen was now in the 9th Division of the Gotei 13. Time would pass and he would gain rank with knowledge and experience to eventually become the Captain of the 9th Division. Since then, Shingen has fought battles and spoken for the Gotei proudly. He has truly lived up to everything that has been put in front of him since his return to the Soul Society and he looks forward to more.

More time has passed and now, after a major battle...the entire Gotei has been taken over by a very strong power. Shingen is burning inside on how he wasn't able to even harm the enemy as a force any before leaving. He strongly vows that once he returns, they shall all regret ever making the decision of making the Gotei 13 their enemies...particularly him. Now being forced to regroup and reassess what the Gotei can and cannot do, Shingen went out on a personal venture in the World of the Living to see if he could find anything that would aid them in reclaiming their home from the enemy. In his search, he may have already started to increase the power of the Gotei by increasing his own, unknowingly as he ran into a woman he never met before.

Shingen later learned this woman's name was Devola and she had connections with the person who would change everything for Shingen minutes later after they started drinking together. Cause hey, who was Shingen to not drink when invited? Just when things were getting good and Shingen finally felt that he could settle into the moment, a stranger appeared and began to attack anyone who stood before him. Innocents were being killed, just because! Shingen didn't immediately act though as this was a World of the Living issue and didn't seem like he should do too much from that standpoint but the person who invited him there seemed to be the one who had some connection to this guy and even she was ready for a fight when he showed up. She was put down as well which is where Shingen stood up and got in between this 'Desmond' and Devola. Shingen got the arm reaching for his zanpaktou frozen in place and then was ignored by Desmond as he went back to focusing on Devola. The 9th Division Captain turned and unleased a large amount of insults upon Desmond which gained his attention, enough to where he even threw a way Devola's gun in his hand which accidentally freed her from the ice he encased her in. Once freed, Devola blasted a huge hole in him but he wasn't done yet. Desmond wanted the last word in their back and forthness in life. By this, he got behind Shingen, lifted him up in the air by his throat, then merged their souls together. After a brief disappearance, a new being appeared before Devola. Shingen/Desmond as she tries to assess who it is...as will everyone else from this point forward.

Time certainly did move forward for Shingen/Desmond. They did their best to get attuned to life in the Gotei while in the state they were in. They weren't all too accustomed to the situation themselves at first but it grew on them. One person who wasn't too fond of it was the Captain Commander, Akane. After some back and forth deliberation, the two sides finally ran out of energy and dropped the whole entire issue which is how Shingen/Desmond was allowed to stay within the borders of the Gotei uncontested. They never caused any trouble for anyone and behaved accordingly. Even Desmond, who always seemed to have an opinion about something that was going on.

As more time passed, another attack was proposed upon the Gotei. This was alot less messy and more condensed than the last one was. Including one of the initial attackers that was out on the front lines who was making a fuss just taking on challenrgers right and left instead of mowing down all who stood in between himself and his goals. Shingen/Desmond sure chose the wrong day to be heroic while trying to be the legend that took down this powerful enemy before anyone else did.

The result of that fight you ask? Well, Shingen was kindly invited by Doku to get a free attack in. Honestly, who wouldn't take that offer when the enemy was being serious? Shingen dove in for his free attack and Doku countered after the attack went through on Shingen's end. Sadly enough, Shingen's attack did nearly no damage to Doku as the man practically laughed it off while attacking in return. Doku's attack did not only injure Shingen but paralyzed the Captain from the neck down as the attack damaged his spine in a very unique way. Shingen laied there on the ground motionless while feeling utterly, completely defeated for the first time in his life.

As he lay there, sounds of others battles were going on that he could hear. Some were closer than others but they all sounded nearly the same to Shingen. Abilities being unleashed, blades clashing, and the all-to-familiar sound of screams. Whether those screams be of horror, pain, defeat. It didn't matter in the end as they all meant the same to Shingen as he continued to lay on the ground. Minutes..perhaps hours, he couldn't tell had passed but someone was now over him as they blocked the sunlight that was peering through his eyelids. As he opened his eyes, it was the VC from the 8th Division. She got him to the hospital and took over his care.

During the time that they were in the hospital together, Shingen and Tatsuya grew sparks then eventually a true bond. One that Shingen was even willing to take chances that he normally wouldn't take just to maintain it. Captain Kokoro offered him an opportunity to regain his movement but he wouldn't be the same ever again. Shingen put a lot of thought to it and gave Kokoro permission to put him under his "knife". Kokoro explained what the experiment would do just before the experiment happened as it was too late to back out now. It was going to turn Desmond into Hollow within Shingen which would effectively turn himn into a Visored. That new state would grant Shingen the ability to walk again but he effectively would never be the same again, as Kokoro once warned from the day it was offered.

After the experiment was conducted, Shingen has come out successfully a Visored. He now owes Kokoro a debt and if anyone knows Kokoro, he keeps score while collecting debts. In the meantime, Shingen and Tatsuya continued to find each other as a couple and even got married. Shortly after they tied the knot, an effective order was placed upon the Gotei from the Captain Commander which collapsed the 13 Divisions making few Divisions to tighten up the effectiveness and unity of the Gotei. Lots more changes are to be on the way from what Shingen sees but time will tell. For now, he will ride this wave and see where it takes him.

Side Notes: [Anything you didn't say up above that's relevant to your character goes here.]
Roleplay Sample: [This helps us determine your character's tier. Roleplay in this character, please.]
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#2 Re: Shingen Minamori on Mon Mar 27, 2017 9:44 pm

Ika Mazi

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Vizard
Vizard
You have Personality in Side Notes and Appearance in personality so those two need swapped.


Strengths and Weaknesses are more meant towards your character's actual... fighting strengths and weaknesses.. Take a look at this topic, where it's explained, Try to keep them even, please! http://www.bleachstory.net/t8241-stats-and-boosts - This also actually helps, because your Shikai and Bankai don't list your actual boosts, which they need to~

Your Zanpakutou abilities need a bit of work. You say that it burns the enemy with Heat, which is fine as a concept, but you don't describe how it actually works. It's, apparently, similar to a magnifying glass, but does that mean I can simply move my hand one inch and it doesn't burn me? They also need cooldowns; Glare should have a 3 post cooldown, meaning you can use it every fourth post, because it blinds them for one post, (plus we don't allow complete blinding and such.) Magnify level 1 can be used every post and Magnify level 2 can be used every other post (so use it, then wait, then use it), but as far as how they actually hit something, you need to be clear. Is it like a cero, where you point your sword at them and a beam of light shoots out that can be simply dodged, is it a slash like getsuga tenshou, what's going on when you use them?


At Bankai level, things get a bit more complex. We actually don't allow Fourth degree burns at all, because by nature that means it burns down to the bone, and that's just a little too strong. We only allow up to 2nd degree burns. in regards to Max Temp, again describe how it works and, if it's cutting through metal, what happens on flesh? (Keep in mind, you can't cut through Zanpakutou Metal with this, or any, ability.) This also needs a cooldown, and judging by the strength I'd say maybe 5 or 6.

Your background is pretty good. The one part that doesn't add up for me is how you're a Seated member of Division 13, you see your Captain and Wife having an affair, but in your appearance you state you're wearing a captain's haori?

Your "Misc. Techniques:" in side notes should actually be your strengths and weaknesses, to an extent. It implies Zanjutsu, Kidou, Hohou, Intelligence, and Spiritual Power, though weaknesses need to be re-evaluated (just my opinion). Everything below that, in Personaltiy, attitude, etc. should all be under Personality way up top at the application, since that's where it goes! You also don't need to list your known kidou, because as a Shinigami it's implied you know all of them, and we have an official list (seen here: http://www.bleachstory.net/t8254-kidou-list-updated ) where you can copy and paste them later, or just see what they do.

Finally, your Roleplay sample was alright, but you switched between third person (he did this, he did that) and first person (my division) a few times, so try to keep that under wraps. Since the majority of the sample was in third person, try to stick to that for future reference ^_^.

___________________________________________________________




Obviously my characters are righttttt there.
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#3 Re: Shingen Minamori on Tue Mar 28, 2017 3:26 am

ShingenOnline

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9th Division
9th Division
I have no idea what you are talking about with the 'Personality and Appearance' thing. There is no appearance in my Personality section that I put in there and i put my Personality section in side notes for a reason. It didn't have anywhere else to go!

Now, as far as my Glare ability...you must be speaking of the Bankai form of it...and of course it has a cooldown...as I stated in the description. It would only place it a couple of posts longer than the Shikai form of it if anyone actually read it. A few minutes is longer than a few seconds. Not the rest of their lives or anything. Speaking of reading descriptions, the Magnify ability was described as a beam and you can only fire beams in one way from what I understand. That is to point whatever will fire the beam at the target and release the beam. Slashes are an entirely different matter and this is no slash. Getsuga Tensho is a slash while Cero is a beam and Magnify is a beam.

I didn't bother with cooldowns on the Magnify abilities for two reasons...one was because of how rp and I already know that wasn't going to be a reason you'd accept but that's just how I am. I can't repeat moves back to back as it doesn't feel right and it would bore the fight for me. Reason two is that system the Zanpaktou works off of. It already had a cooldown system in place which forced the character to not repeat abilities even if he wanted to.

The haori thing actually was an oversight that I did at one point remove but accidently put back when I clicked the undo button for something else. Thank you for catching that for me.

And once again...there no actual Personality section other than the one i put in with his description of his personality so i don't see what you are referring to. Now, if you want me to put that part under his Fighting Style, I can do that.

Finally, with the rp sample...I started it in first person but wanted to change it but obviously didnt catch all of it to correct all of it. That's what that was. I made the changes I can.
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#4 Re: Shingen Minamori on Tue Mar 28, 2017 8:41 am

Rena

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Human
Human
I have no idea what you are talking about with the 'Personality and Appearance' thing. There is no appearance in my Personality section that I put in there and i put my Personality section in side notes for a reason. It didn't have anywhere else to go!

~~Literally right under Personality. Where it belongs. It's part of it. So it would naturally go under it. This not being common sense disturbs me considering how "Intelligent" you seem to be acting towards Ika.

my Glare ability. / bother with cooldowns

~~On the first part. Jeff is a bit stupid because it does state it is a beam. However that is where Jeff's stupid ends and yours begins with the second bit. Time is a not a quantifiable factor in an RP setting of the Bleach Universe because one post could be anywhere from six seconds to five minutes and that's not even taking into account time skipping and "Dramatic Pause" or anything of that sort. You did not state a cooldown based on the forum's way of using a cooldown and that is what Jeff was referring to.

because of how rp


~~First. This isn't a debate on whether or not you would abuse a characters power. If the power was abusable to begin with we wouldn't have approved it. So your ability to RP or how you choose to RP has zero factor here. We balance the abilities of every character so that no one person can just walk in and auto fuck everyone (Which We've had someone actually try to do so. Lol.) If we ask you for CD's, Power Comparison's, speed comparisons, details of how "tough" a defense skill is. You don't argue. you put it in the app and we go "oh hey yeah that makes sense" or we don't like how strong it is and tell you. or we think it's too weak and we give a suggestion to make it "Better".

~~"Oh but Rena a CD makes no sense your way"

I can't repeat moves back to back

~~According to you it would be NO issue at all to simply make a CD based on Staff advice or what you can find around the forum. Because you would have had one naturally anyways. However "implications" and "Vague" crap don't fly. If you have a CD you state the CD on your app. If we don't like how you stated it, which is what happened here, or it isn't balanced for the ability. We let you know and you fix it.

~~ONTO THE FUN BITS~~

As far as Jeff's assessment went. He wasn't wrong where it mattered most. Magnify Level 3 and Level 4 are denied because we don't allow third and fourth degree burns or frostbite due to how heavily overpowered it can get against another character even with the smallest of hits landing. Regeneration is not a substitute for Orihime. If they got burned or frostbite that badly it'd wreck their character for quite some time. If not permanently. So we don't allow it and save everyone the headache. Sorry thems the brakes.

~~Now you don't "currently" have any boosts filled out for Shikai or Bankai. This isn't mandatory and if it was intentional that is fine I'm merely mentioning it because without those boosts you are saying that your character is so strong he doesn't need them or he is weaker than normal fighters. Which in either case would need to be listed somewhere at some point. Just mentioning this part though. Dun care what you do here.

~~your strengths are as follows. Zanjutsu, Hoho, Shunpo, Reiatsu, Kidou, Analytical Tactician
~~your weaknesses are as follows. Hakuda, Politics

Okay first. Political failure is a character flaw. Not a weakness. So that is ignored. Shunpo and hoho aren't different things because Shunpo is a skill within Hoho's combat style. So those are smashed together.

So it's now.

Zanjutsu, Hoho, Kidou, Analytical Tactician, Reiatsu
~~vs~~
Hakuda

So my question and the point to pointing all this out now becomes.... Does that seem balanced to you?

You are good at every form of combat and excel with spiritual based combat. And the only drawback is that instead of knowing any martial arts you can "simply throw a punch".

Seems like you may need more of a weakness to balance out no?

~~This next part is not required but irked me therefor I am mentioning it.

I'm going to be nice. Okay no I'm not. Your fighting style is so lacking that my entire brain hurts thinking about it. You swing a sword and you use Kido. That's your fighting style? you don't try to use your analytical tactician nature to pressure the enemy in a way that benefits you? You don't try to discern weaknesses and exploit them as best you can with your hoho techniques? You don't do fancy fencing crap because hell yeah?

You just swing a sword and use magic spells.

So while this is still passable since despite being completely vague and tasteless still covers a bit. Due to the fact the shinigami academy trained you in these things.....

You could easily make it better.
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#5 Re: Shingen Minamori on Fri Mar 31, 2017 7:03 pm

Noziel Aran

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8th Division
8th Division
I took a little more time not being stupid about this than I ought to have been but.... here.

You have been given simple instructions to follow.

-Magnify 3 and 4 are both denied, for the simple reason that we don't even allow 3rd or 4th degree burns.
-Kidou does not need to be listed, you went through the academy, so it's assumed you know all Kidou.
-Your personality is still tacked onto the end. We have a template for a reason, please use it.

Quite frankly, the list goes on, and you have not made very many edits, even if at least you added cooldowns to the abilties we denied.

If you need me to make a full, consolidated list of the changes that you need to make, ask.
This is not approvable.

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Play the game, use all the pieces, leave your cards on the table.

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#6 Re: Shingen Minamori on Tue Apr 04, 2017 7:11 am

Rena

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Human
Human
The changes are approvable. I vote 1-4. Jeff and/or Noz need to confirm since apparently we all looked at the app.
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#7 Re: Shingen Minamori on Tue Apr 04, 2017 7:12 am

Noziel Aran

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8th Division
8th Division
Confirmed with me and approvable

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Play the game, use all the pieces, leave your cards on the table.

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#8 Re: Shingen Minamori on Wed Apr 26, 2017 8:55 am

Ika Mazi

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Vizard
Vizard
Approve.

___________________________________________________________




Obviously my characters are righttttt there.
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#9 Re: Shingen Minamori on Thu Apr 27, 2017 7:02 am

Noziel Aran

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8th Division
8th Division
Changes have been reviewed and approved by me. Moving back to the proper section.

___________________________________________________________

Play the game, use all the pieces, leave your cards on the table.

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#10 Re: Shingen Minamori on Tue Sep 05, 2017 4:01 am

ANGrey

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Gfx Queen
Gfx Queen
Approved, at Tier 0-4. Congratulations.
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