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[Death] Accelerator vs Saio - of Death?

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on Tue Mar 07, 2017 7:55 pm

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8th Division
8th Division
I was off trying to grab some Melon Bread for Hirai. She really likes that ya know?

At least... that's what I was doing, before the ScrewAttack! staff ruined my life. Yeah, I get it, it's a DeathBattle! I get that people want to see the funny girl get smashed by who the fuck ever. Welp, if I'm going to get my ass raped and my rights as a girl violated, best do it swinging.

"HEEEEEREEEEEEE'S BOOMSTICK WITH TODAY'S DEATH BATTLE. TODAY, ACCELERATOR VS SAIO. ACCELERATOR HAS A BUNCH OF ENERGY BULLSHIT AND VECTOR MANIPULATION WHEREAS SAIO, THE PRETTIEST, MOST FANTASTIC CHARACTER ON BLEACHSTORY HAS THE BEST CHANCE OF MAKING SOMEONE LAUGH! .... At the very least, more of a chance than the idiot over there attempting to clean his ears with a toothbrush."

What? I don't hear laughter. I did the Boomstick voice. I poked fun at the silliness of this whole thing, what more do you people actually want? Moe? Loli? Tits the size of Mount Olympus? Furries? I don't get you people anymore.

Clownpiece: It would seem you've broken the one person that really shouldn't be breakable.

Oh quiet you. You're only here because you're just weird enough to be a part of me. Honestly, I don't think this kid will even look at me without wanting to kill me. Hello, is anyone... actually watching this? ehhhhh.

I decided that if the audience was going to be responsive as a brick wall that it was up to me to keep them from being stoned. Seriously guys, stop smoking strange plants. I changed my hair length to be about midway down my shoulders, to a bright pink. If I was going to be 50 shades of odd, which I'm normally 49, not 50... I was going to make this motherfucker over here wonder what he ever did to have to beat me to a bloody pulp. With my eyes a matching pink, I was ready. My hairpins switched to the Roman Numerals, XIII.

Seriously, you guys, if you don't know where this is going, this isn't your thread.
I would look over to Accelerator, who a lot of my.... how shall we say this... "Friends" have all hated with a burning passion. I took out Konbo, looked at the bastard, and...


I started planning my escape. Seriously. Get me the fuck out of here.


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on Tue Mar 07, 2017 9:26 pm

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Vizard
Vizard
Accelerator simply heard death battle and looked on to find that the person ahead of him was at equal power level.. What kind of weird shenanigans were going on in this place?.. And more importantly what was with the loon in front of him?.. He just had to kill her to escape?.. Well, that wasn't going to be too hard at this point.. "Well, I doubt you've enough sense to say any prayers so I'm just going to be honest here.. You should probably cut your own throat while you're ahead and save me the time.." He sighed a bit, leaving his hands in his pockets, as he began to use Regokinesis to break the arena up into little parts.. It would be a while until his plan came to fruition, but once it did this wouldn't last very long.. The arena shook with a crowd that was too simple to realize they were a few minutes from death, and that the beams were being uprooted, with rego-kinesis.. This would be.. interesting.


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on Tue Mar 07, 2017 9:59 pm

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8th Division
8th Division
Oh who am I kidding. A stick? Come on, what idiot brings a stick into battle?.... Don't answer that. I Stuffed Konbo into my Cat of Holding because what I planned to exchange it for was far greater. As I began to slide the handle out, I realized there was going to be a problem. To be fair.... It should have come to be sooner. Oh well.

Clownpiece: I can't get that damn song out of my head now. Thanks.

"What song? Oh I remember now. And don't you even think of blaming me, that was all your doing, not mine"

REGARDLESS, as I was describing, I was pulling out my Bankai, the giant, massive, fucking warhammer of splendorous beauty and magnificent silliness! Kuso Ronji! (Some people call it the Warhammer of Zillyhoo, Strange things that they are) And the problem I ran into wasn't that music was emanating from it, oh no. It's that it kept getting stuck. I looked over at the white haired faggot in the corner, held up my finger to tell him to wait a minute, and let my Cat of Holding drop to the ground. It walked away from me and meowed, and I had to yell at it and stamp my feet to get it to open it's mouth wide enough to get the damn hammer out. "Get the hell out of here, ya damn cat!"

Now that I was mental, and prepared to knock this fucker into next century, I'd charge forward, prepared to knock the motherfucker into next century! "HOME RUN MOTHERFU-" I'd swing for him, only to find that my Punchline Swing (patent pending) would be stopped within several feet of him. Well shit. I had a feeling that I was gonna be blasting off again.


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on Tue Mar 14, 2017 2:39 am

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Vizard
Vizard
Accelerator tuned out the retarded cartoon character right about until the line "HOME RUN MOTHERFU-" and then he smirked a bit. "That's it?.. A freaking hammer?.. Reflect. Get out of here." And as he said this the woman's own momentum would carry her away in an instant. This would be a very sad affair if she didn't at least attempt to not pick it up soon and NOT waste his time.. As she stood up she'd find that a vibro-knife had been launched at her chest with rather dangerous precision.. He then continued to try and undo the stadium around them, it was working but it wasn't really something he could afford to do without focusing.. She might make that a little harder than he was hoping for granted, given that she was so god damned annoying.. Nonetheless he would follow this up by utilizing rego-kinesis to spread bullets throughout the arena so that he would have a weapon at every single possible position.. Weapons that could do some serious damage if contact was made.. Needless to say Accelerator was NOT in a good mood with the interruption that had presented to him, and Saio would be paying the toll for it..


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on Tue Mar 14, 2017 10:11 pm

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8th Division
8th Division
As the boy said 'Reflect' I felt it. I felt it long before I made contact with the back wall, and that was at Mach 3, mind you. And of course, as I hit the back wall, a loud, resounding *THUNK* echoed across the arena. After a few moments, I peeled myself (literally) off of the wall and re-inflated my body. Seriously, cartoon air is really hard to replace these days. Oh no. A knife. Whatever shall I do?
I stepped out, stretching my leg a couple meters to the left, and boing~ Over I moved, to dodge.

With that aside, I decided now would be a good time to pull a plastic egg from wherever. Oooooh, a shiny one... You know what that means folks. It's anyone's guess as to what comes out. As I was admiring the shiny egg in my hands, the bastard spread out about a hundred bullets.

"When the fuck did this become Touhou? and why am I playing Lunatic difficulty?" Regardless... I could theoretically get close and open it up, though he'd probably just knife me to death. One shunpo in, and HELLOOOOOO ACCELERATOR. I'd be within 20 feet of him, open the egg up and what came out of it.... oh dear God. Remember the rule about forbidden kidou? Apparently plastic eggs can use those things too. All I heard was "Hadou 90, Kurohitsugi!" emanating from inside the egg.... I couldn't place the voice, but it sounded familiar. Ika maybe?

Anywho, this fucker was about to get a faceful of Kurohitsugi, and I of course cackled like a maniac, because even I wasn't expecting this!


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on Thu Mar 16, 2017 10:22 pm

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Vizard
Vizard
The retarded woman hit the wall and splattered, leaving Accel to believe he had won in a rather ridiculous way until.. She peeled herself off the wall, and blew herself up like a cartoon character, what the f*ck was wrong with this chick?.. Did she just..? Whatever.. She didn’t even seem phased by the knife, not that Accel could blame her at this point since she apparently wasn’t bound to the usual laws of physics and general physiology.. She stepped, stretched out a bit, and boinged to the left, dodging..

Oh now she laid a shiny egg, this is just great, spectacular. No need to wonder about what the heck this was going to be, it was anyones guess now anyway! Physics didn’t apply to this woman, and Accelerator wasn’t about to let an egg be his undoing, simply because he had an over-reliance on what was once presumed to be logical… The bullet spreading was far easier than he had thought it would be.. And it also allowed him ample time to undo the supports for the arena, and crack the walls a bit with the harder objects inside.. Accelerator looked on as all the people began to evacuate.. “well isn’t that funny..?”

The woman Shunpo’d in close after some ridiculous muttering about a video game and it’s respective difficulty within a certain play mode or something like that.. Then she was within 20 feet of him to which he Vibro-Stepped forwards, and closed in around her with ten bullets, all aimed to destroy her… at Bala speeds, generally aiming for the knees, but then?.. He was being lifted, and he couldn’t.. What the hell WAS this?.. Focus.. Focus.. Accelerator felt the spears come in as his body redirected each spear out of the box and away from him.. It came out of that egg, a forbidden Kidou?! What in the hell WAS This crap?!

She didn’t even seem consciously aware of what was going on, and Accelerator hit the ground, a little shook up by the fact that his life was nearly ended by a f*cking easter egg.. Folks.. What’s about to happen is for mature audiences only.. If you or a loved one have a weak stomach, or are simply squeamish around blood, turn away now. Viewer Discretion is advised..


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on Fri Mar 17, 2017 12:20 am

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8th Division
8th Division
Well that was fun. I'd never expected there to be a Hadou 90 in that egg. However, much like everything else I'd thrown at him, he was left relatively unharmed. He was REALLY pissed though, and that was good enough for me. I looked into the egg just to make sure everything came out of it and it smelled horrible. You know the smell you get when someone with athlete's foot takes off their shoes after a long day of work? Yeah it smelled like that. I tossed it away because YUCK.

Aside from that, I had some very lovely, round holes in my WAIT A MINUTE. How the. Okay, I give up, I don't even know when he fired them. At least I could take them. let's see... about 9, 10 holes in my legs if my account was correct. Aren't you proud of me, I went to Shinigami Academy...

I reached into my shirt, pulling out - Wait a minute. "Don't watch me, pervert!" Then turned around THEN pulled out my mask, then turned back around to face him. I slipped my rabbit mask on, and lo and behold.... I was.. Hollowfied. Tada? The ears of the mask twitched around a little bit as I just stared at him. "Yessssss?"


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on Sun Mar 19, 2017 9:52 pm

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Vizard
Vizard
The egg was apparently disgusting smelling given what she did with it and... well, she seemed to just be noticing that bullets had went through her legs, though it seemed to have little to no impact on her.. That was a drag, and something Accelerator really wasn't going to be able to simply allow.. His Reitsu poured out, cratering the ground around him and effectively weakening the foundations so that he could continue their disassembly.. Soon, it would be time for the end of this god damn fight, and Accelerator couldn't fucking wait for that..

She made some half-comedic comment about not watching her change as she reached into her shirt and pulled something out. "To be fair I was a little boy once, I can imagine what I'd see." Accelerator said this with a smirk, before using Vibro-Step to get behind her as she Hollowfied entirely.. Well.. That's.. Certainly a thing now isn't it..? Erm.. Processing.. Processing.. What the fuck.. She had rabbit ears.. Fucking rabbit ears.. Are you...

Anger seethed from every pore of Accelerators skin, "YEP, TIME TO DIE BITCH.." The structure of the building quaked and at this point he was only holding it up because he wanted to... He wanted to see when she was crushed.. Only then would this fight, and he himself, reach a worthy climax..


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on Mon Mar 20, 2017 9:08 am

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8th Division
8th Division
To be honest, I never wanted a Death Battle. I mean, maybe, if it was against someone like Deadpool? Shit I'd be all over that. But this guy? This guy shits all over my fun. Welp, if I'm going to go out, as evident by the stones now falling all over the place, I was gonna go out my way. "Hello and good morning, It's time for the Saio Hira Variety Hour!" at which point my skin would turn white and I'd get seriously ripped. That's right, folks, the display of the form you'll likely never see ever again, my hollow form, which I have affectionately nicknamed Whiskers. Say hello to Whiskers people.

LET'S KICK SOME ASS. (Yes, it'll be my ass that's getting kicked. Fuck all of you) I rushed forward with the most of my strength, and thrust my now ubermanly fist into the range of that kid, I expected to impact the hell out of him, and if I didn't oh well, I'm a giant fucking Rabbitman, does it matter whether it makes sense or not?


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on Mon Mar 20, 2017 9:59 pm

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Vizard
Vizard
Did she just turn into the fucking Easter Bunny?.. Is that what just happened?.. Accelerator was done with this place, he was done with this circumstance, he was done with this crazy rabbit bitch, he was done with EVERYTHING, and he would use Vibrostep to clear the blast radius, sense the woman had essentially tried to punch Accelerator to no effect.. She would probably try to chase, but it wouldn't matter. The arena now smashed inwards, effectively collapsing in on the crazy person once known as Saio... This SHOULD be the end of the fight.. It was like that scene out of Saw but faster, where the walls closed in on the person and they were smashed and.. Did she just don a top-hat?..


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