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Manda Marluz: new remake with new template (Done)

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on Thu Nov 10, 2016 11:00 pm





THE ARRANCAR APPLICATION



Name: Manda Marluz
Age: 23
True Age: 2,900
Sex: Female
[color=lightblue]Personality:[/color
Manda is the type of person who is very friendly once you get to know her and she gets to know you. It takes her a very long time to trust anyone. On the other hand if you are not her friend and/or pose a threat to her she will attack you. Even if you know her she may not warm up to you right away and treat you with little or no respect, especially if you get to close to her. She is very protective of her personal space, an area of around 5 feet around her. She will attack anyone who gets in her personal space unless she allows you to be there. To those who don't know her she seems to act regal and a little stuck upish. Upon first meeting her, however, one can tell she can be friendly, but only to those who are close to her.




CHARACTER APPEARANCE




Height: 6 Feet 2 Inches
Weight: 150 pounds
Physical Traits:
Manda is a tall, yet beautiful woman. She stands at 6 feet 2 inches tall and weighs around 150 pounds. She has a slender, yet muscular build that makes her look as if she works out daily. She has long, flowing blue hair that reaches down to her waist. Mixed in with her blue hair you can see streaks of gold hair flowing down as well. Her hair is normally free flowing without any restrictions though she is known to put her hair in a ponytail or braid as well. As she walks her hair looks like it could be made of silk they way it flows. If not careful one could mistake it for a cape like a queen would wear. Her left eye is bright yellow in color and her right eye is a sea blue in color. Both of her eyes look dragon-like and sparkle when she uses any techniques she has. Her lips are a soft pink and look very kissable. Her skin is a soft pink color and her cheeks look like they have a soft reddish tint to them. Her skin is soft to the touch if you are allowed to get close enough to touch her. She keeps her swords on either side of her around her waist. The sheaths, one gold and one ocean blue, are held by a slim piece of fabric that ties near her midsection.
Manda is wearing a long, white dress that flows down to the ground. The dress covers her long, slender legs. It moves around her like flowing water. The dress is a simple white dress with little bits of what look to be flower petals flowing down the length of the dress. As she walks the petals seem to flow down the dress in an illusion since the dress does move like flowing water. The bottom of the dress moves up and stops about an inch above the knee when she fights. The top part of the dress comes just above her full figure, chest, exposing a little for the eye to see. Her long arms are left bare except for a single bracelet on her left wrist, a present from a villager when she was a dragon. The bracelet is blue and looks like a dragon grabbing it's tail. The fabric is white in color like her dress and looks like it can easily be cut. Though it looks week it is very strong and can hold both of her swords well. Both Manda's dress and the piece of fabric around her waist can change color to match her mood. It mainly will stay white, meaning she is not really feeling anything or is bored. Her dress will be red with pink petals when she is mad. When she is happy or in a good mood it will be ocean blue with gold flowers.
Her mask fragment lies on her head or rather, around it. It is a ring around her head that resembles a crown. Protruding from that ring are bits of the mask that look like dragon ears. These ear parts are right where her real ears would. The mask does not hinder her hearing at all, but rather, it enhances it slightly. Her hollow hole in on her left thigh, mainly hidden by the dress. Manda’s aspect of death is Rage




FIGHTING STYLE




General Fighting Style: Manda tends to fight from a small distance when the battle starts to use her ability, Repentina Tormenta (Sudden Storm). Once that ability is going she gets in close and personal and works to use her lighting or water attacks in combination with her zanpaktou to work to take down an enemy. She is a close to mid-range combat fighter preferring to use her swords or hands to fight. She is known to, however, use either water or lighting attacks at will from a distance.
Strengths: She, being high but not too high, has a strong Hierro and a pretty decent Sonido. Because of her elemental affinity she is strong against Lightning and Water attacks and can sometimes absorb those attacks altogether.
Weaknesses: While she is strong in many areas, we all have a weakness. Manda is not able to use Pesquisa well. Many attempts have lead to failure with a success rate of about 20%. She is also weak against fire attacks and long lasting battles.




ZANPAKUTO & CERO



Sealed Appearance: Her sealed weapon is two Wakizahi's. One of them has a blue handle with a golden hilt. The other has a golden handle with a blue hilt. Each one is 16 inches in length and can be combined together to form one long staff or bow depending upon the need.
Zanpakuto Name: She has two. One is Mar (Water) the other is Luz (Light), like her last name.
Zanpakuto Call Out:

"Cauchador Real!"
Cero: Manda can use Cero as well as make them using her elemental affinities. She can also make a Garanta appear, but most of the time prefers not to.




RESURRECTION



Appearance:
Spoiler:

Manda shouts out "Cauchador Real!" Once she does this her dual wakizahi's disappear and turn into a combination of lighting and water. She is then surrounded by water that is dark blue in color and lighting that is golden in color. After a short while the water then forms around her whole body, covering it completely. Once she is covered by the water it begins to form the scales on her that cover her body completely. She also grows to a height of 6 feet 9 inches tall and now weighs almost 300 pounds due to the weight of the scales that protect her while using her Ressurrecion. Running up both her arms and her legs are small scales. On her hands and feet there forms some claws. These claws have sharp tips on the end of each finger that can pierce the skin about 2 inches in, causing some damage but nothing major unless she aims for your neck. Along her back she gets what she calls quills. They run down the length of her back and stick out a bit more than most of the scales on her skin does. They are triangular in shape and are not to sharp. They are grayish blue in color and to someone in a lower tier than Manada they can be cut by the sharpness of the scales on her skin and back. Also protruding from her back is a pair of wings. The wings look to be, in part, the same color as the rest of her body, a grayish blue color. The tips of the wings, however, are the color of lighting, yellow, and they almost looked like lightning. The mask fragment on her head changes to where it covers her whole face, making her face look dragon-like. She also grows a tail behind her. Her tail looks to be made of the same dark blue water that covers her. The tail is also somewhat covered by the triangular scales; though match the color of her tail. These scales are tough, but not impossible, to cut thru. On the tip of her tail, which is 2 feet long, is a spike. This spike looks to be made of the same material that the scales on her back are and is the same color. Her tail can call forth lighting or send out water but is very limited to how much can be sent out since she will mostly use her hands or feet to attack. The lighting that surrounded her now forms at her tail, awaiting an attack.
Abilities: Better control over Cero and a speedier Sonido. She also has limited use of a Gran Ray Cero.

Name: Repentina Tormenta (sudden storm)
Effect:[/list] Manda is able to draw on her elements of lightning and water to create a suddent thunderstorm. The area is surrounded by thick, dark thunder clouds. The clouds can produce large amounts of rain, up to 5 inches, and a multitude of lightning bolts, no more than 50. The lightning from the storm can strike at any enemies around the area within a 50 foot radius and mostly just shock a person. The storm comes on quick as there is no charge and can last for 5 posts. She can use this both before and during Ressurrecion.
Technique Name: Lightning Barrage
Technique Description: Manda, if her swords are together, seperates her swords. Once her swords ares seperated she charges them with lighting by holding them up to the sky. She then slashes both of them down sending 2 slahses of lighting at the enemy. She then quickly spins around and slahses her swords again causing a second set of 2 slash of lighting to charge towards her enemies.

Technique Name: Lightning Dragon Tornado
Technique Description: Drawing her two swords together, Manda will raise them into the air and draw lightning down upon her body. The current will be contained within and around Manda's form. She will then begin to spin in place forming a whirling vortex of wind and electricity. The vortex will take on the form of a dragon's head and will cover the area in front of her. It will then strike out against her opponent and painfully trap them in the vortex. Even if the attack doesn't directly connect with her foe, the lightning can jump from the vortex to hit a nearby target.
Ressurrecion Ability: Manda does have the ability to fly using her wings. She uses her wings to fly. No real attack from this but it does help her dodge some ground attacks.

Ability: Electric Aqua Illuison

Description: Manda is able to make what looks to be a clone of herself using they water and electricity around her. This is only an illusion and can only be used once during any battle. The illusion is able to copy Manda's attacks as she attacks, but the strength of the attack is only 25% of what it would normally be and is easier to dodge than normal.

Ability: Flash Bang

Description: Manda calls forth electricity to her tail. She then points her tail down and a bolt of lighting hits the ground. There is no damage done to anyone who is in the area, friend or foe. This attack causes a large flash of light and a loud bang. This will cause anyone in the area to temporally loose their sight and ability to hear. This will last for two posts and cover an area of 50 feet.

Name:Lightning Sniper

Description: Manda causes her bow to appear and brings it up, charging a ball of energy. The ball of energy then changes to an arrow which she aims at her enemy and shoots it at them. The arrow is made of lighting. This arrow then heads straight for the enemy. 1 post to charge and 3 post cool down. The range of the arrow is for 100 points of Reiatsu contorl she has the attack will cover 75 feet.

Name:Lightning Tsunami

Description: Manda summons a large amount of water from around the area. With this she sends it out towards any enemies. As she does this the large wall of water also electrifies. When hit by this attack a person first becomes wet from the water and then electrified by the lightning surrounding the water. This attack covers an area of 50 yards. The is no charge to use this attack but it does have a 5 post cool down.

Name: Electric Dragon Summoning

Description: Manda jumps into the air, using her wings to fly. She holds her arms before her and begins to concentrate. As she concentrates a large ball of electricity forms before her hands. After charging for 1 post she is able to summon a dragon made purely out of electricity. She is able to fully control the dragon which is about 5 feet in length. The dragon can be controlled in an area of 100 yards and can last for 3 posts. After the attack ends she is not able to use it again for 7 posts.

Name: Aqua Barrage

Description: Manda holds out her arms and gathers a large amount of water around them. Once she has enough water she points it down at the enemy and releases a barrage of 100 water balls that are 3 feet in diameter. This attack takes 2 posts to charge and has a cool down of 10 posts.

Attack Name: Dragon's Fury

Description: Manda separates the hydrogen atom from the oxygen atom in the water. Then, with a spark from her lighting, she ignites the hydrogen atom to cause a blast of fire to come from her mouth. It takes one post to charge and is normally her final attack since it does use most of what is left of her energy. If she is still able to she can use this attack again after 20 posts.

Technique: Aqua Dragon Claw

Description: Water is constantly on both the claws on her hands and feet. She is able to swipe her hands causing blades of water to come from her claws aimed at the enemy.

Boosts:She is able to move a bit faster and seems to have gained the strength of an actual dragon due to her form.




RESURRECTION SEGUNDA




Appearance: [What do you look like in segunda?]
Abilities: [What abilities do you gain?]
Boosts: [What physical capabilities increase in your resurreccion? Speed, Strength, Stamina, etc.]




BACK-DROP



Background:
What Manda looked like when she was alive.

Spoiler:

Around 3,000 years ago there was a blue and gold dragon that few around many villages in the South. She was peacefull ment no harm to anyone unless she was attacked or provoked. This is Manda Marluz.

Manda's earliest memory is that of a female person placing her in a cave that soon became her home. As the person tried to leave her there she tried to follow her. The persons face was a blur to her as she still could not see well due to her young age. Somehow, the person was able to stop Manda from following her out by chanting some sort of spell that cast a tempory barrier at the mouth of the cave. Manda was then left alone. She felt very lonely after that and cried for many days. It was some time before she became so hungry that she taught herself how to hunt for field mice and other animals as well as get fruit from the surrounding trees. With time she was able to hunt the larger animals that where in the area she was living in. Soon she was old enough to learn to fly. Once she learned this she found joy in watching the humans in the village near her home as she flew around.

Manda's fondest memory was of a family that lived close to where her home was. They would visit her often starting about a year after she was left alone. At first the couple came alone, then they brought thier child. Manda watched every week as they came to visit her and would look forward to thier visits. She watched the child turn from a baby to a little girl to an adult. They would celebrate every birthday the little girl had there as well as every holiday that could be had, making Manda feel like part of that family. She was not sure why they visited her weekly but she enjoyed the company.

About the time the little girl was a woman a war broke out. The couple had come and told Manda what was going on. She vowed to help them to the best of her ability since she considered them family. She felt best to attack from above so she would attack by causing storms to appear and lightning to strike the enemies. She would also cause the rivers in the area to flood, washing away enemies on the bridges below. The war was soon over with Manda's help and the help of the family she watched over. Once it was over she expected the family to visit again. When they did not come to visit this saddened her. It was many months later when a different couple had came to visit Manda that she found that the girl who would come and visit her had been murdered. She still inquired about the girls parents and the couple stated they didn't know. She found out a few months after that, when a different couple visited, that the girls parents had been killed as well, trying to avenge their daughters death. This saddened Manda much and depressed her for a long time. The depression was so deep that she would not eat no come out of her cave. It was only when some villagers visited her and noticed her in such a deep state of depression that they vowed more people would come to visit her and more often. As the followed thru on this promise she became happy soon after that when people would come to visit her on a normal basis.

As she grew older she soon felt the need to explore a bit. After a while she found another dragon. She had never seen any other dragons and found him curious. He was similar to Manda in looks, but he was red and yellow instead of blue and yellow. He was a fire breather and he taught her much more of the world than she had learned by staying near her village. They each shared thier history with each other and he told her that she should take revenge against the nation that had hurt the village, and, more specifically, the family she lost. She disagreed but still stood by him. He then taught her the joy of love and of hunting humans and raiding fields. This was something they both did together for a long time. Manda enjoyed this as this made her happy. She felt very alive and had forgotten of her past with the village she once lived in. One day some hunters came around. Manda was able to escape due to not being there but the other dragon, Manuel, didn't make it. He was killed in a surprise attack while Manda was out hunting for herself and thier still young child. She returned to her home to find them dead. It was at that point that she was so furious that she went on a rampage and took out the whole town that was nearby, a town that was no where near the one she grew up near. The town, at that moment, had been celebrating the death of her mate and her child and this made her even more angry. She had called up a massive storm that first brought in large bolts of lighting, destorying many homes and killing large groups of people. She then brought forth large waves, drowning out the remaining people and putting out any fires that was there on the island. Once she had taken out her anger on the village and the hunters she returned to her cave home and made sure to cover up what remained. She covered the enterence to the cave as well as she didn't want anyone to disturb her family as they rested.

After the day of her rampage she continued to hunt where many humans grew crops of rice and vegtables. She mainly left humans alone after her mate was killed. The only place she never really hunted was back where she was orginally from. Soon, many villagers began to fear her as she came around. They had heard the stories of what she had done to the village that she rampaged. To try to keep her away the villiagers would often leave what they called sacrafices for her. She was not happy when they did that so she would take the human sacrafice and bring her to another village to live in peace. She would then continue to village and plunder in that region till the villagers once again offered her a sacrifice. This took place for countless years. It was only when she became angry or felt threatened by the villagers, which was not that often, great storms would brew and giant waves of water would crash down on the villages. Large lightening bolts would accompany those great waves, causing much destruction, reminding people of the rampage she had done when her mate was killed. She would also fly after the people and eat a few of them. She didn't much care for the taste of humans after her mate died, but would still eat a few if they made her mad enough. After hearing stories about the storms most villages stopped trying to hurt or anger Manda, as they soon came to call her.

About a 1,000 years before she died, she decided to find a place to settle. She went back to the old village she used to live nearby. The people in the village happily accepted her back and, after some time, forgave her of the sins that they had heard of in the stories from other locations in the region. Due to her age and health she soon could not hunt so the villagers gave to her a portion of the rice and fruits from the island. This made her happy the rest of her days. She still worked to protect the village when she could, but as time moved on she found it harder to move due to her age. Once she died they people of the village took care to ensure that her remains where burried safely away since she was the last dragon of that time.

Manda soon awoke and found herself looking over the people who took care of her as an old dragon. She still looked like the dragon she used to be, but only a portion of her size reamined, which puzzled her. She would wonder around, looking to see if anyone would recognize her and tried to get the people of the village to talk to her. She found that most ignored her and she wondered why. One day she was sitting next to the temple that the people had built for her. A young couple and thier young child had come to visit. Manda looked them over, as she did everyone who came up. The young couple ignored her, as usual. The child, however, was curious and made his way over to Manda. She thought this was courious untill she heard the boy say, "Look at the dragon mama." The couple looked at where the child was and it seemed as if they looked right through Manda, like she was not even there. They called the child to come back to them but the child continued walking towards Manda untill he was picked up by his mother. The child cried and kept saying he wanted to touch the dragon as they couple walked away, ignoring his pleas. A few years later, when the child had grown up, he returned to see Manda. Most times he would say nothing, looking at Manda as if she were something unique or a prize. She would just stay where she was as the child, now a man, walked over to her and looked her over. One day he came and looked her over, as was his routine for many years by then. On this day, however, he felt it time to speak to her and let her know why he kept comming around. "I know now why I am able to see you and no one else is." he said to her. "Your the ghost of the dragon that once lived here."

This shocked Manda. She didn't know what a ghost was nor why this man was the only one able to see her. Afraid of what may happen now that she knew what was going on, she closed her eyes and flew off, shocking the young man as she did. She didn't want to believe him, but knew, somehow, that he was correct. As she wa flying shesomehow blacked out. When she awoke she found herself in Hueco Mundo, As she looked around she could not believe where she was. She found nothing but desert and little stumps of what used to be trees. She figured that this must be some sort of atonement or punishment for the sins she had when she was alive. Wanting to make the best of this she landed and began to wander around. As she wondered she would come across very few hollows. The ones she did come across wanted to attack her. She would attack them back at first and destroy them. Eventually she became very hungry and, not finding any other source for food, she eventually devoured the hollows that attacked her instead of killing them. As the years passed and she continued this she began to grow bored. She wanted some excitement in her life. Thinking it might be time for a change she found her way over to the menos forset. The first time she came across a gillian strength Menos she was shocked. She had never seen such a hollow before since most of the hollows she'd fought till that point were much weaker than she was and not very smart. Felling threatened by Manda the Menos attacked using a Cero. Manda quickly dodged and attacked the Menos back, swiping it in half with her claws. After that she devoured it. She found joy in doing this, something she had not felt in a long time. It was then that she continued to hunt for more menos in the forest.

In time, as she continued to hunt, she found that there where different types hollows she would come across. She learned from some Adjucas about the different strangths and types of a hollow and knew then and there she wanted to become as strong as she possibily could. She had made a few friends, but not many. Most of the friends she did make she ended up devouring in the end due to her want to get more powerfull. This would be why most stayed away from her. One day she came across a vasto lorde class hollow and a few adjucas class like herself. She attacked then and was able to devour them all after a long battle. Once she had finally devoured the Vasto Lorde class hollow she changed. Her body became more human like and less dragon like. She was now able to walk on two legs and had a more human shape about her. She still had her tail and wings and her body was covered still with scales. Her hollow mask is still dragon like and covered her whole face with the exception of her bottom jaw where there was no mask. Her hands and feet still had claws which she keeps sharpened. She lived like this for many years, still hunting for other hollows, but the hunt became more fun as she soon found it easier to find and catch prey.

Manda continued her journey around Hueco Mundo for quite some time. She looked around for even more vasto lorde's to fight, looking to become stronger. Eventually in her travels she made her way to Los Noches. There she found the one who was the number 8 Espada at the time. She became smitten with him and eventually became one of his fraccion. This lasted for quite some time. Manda, however, soon became bored with the usual goings on. One day she killed a fellow fraccion of his due to an arguement that they had. Once he found out he became furious at Manda. The relationship she had with him was going south for a while as it was and Manda could not take it any more. A battle soon ensued that lasted for many days. During that battle Manda was knocked hard on the face and her mask broke. Due to this she became an Arrancar. The battle paused at this point as the Espada thoght that Manda was done or had given up. This was not the case however becasue she was able to obtain her swords at this point. The battle began again and she began to battle even harder against the number 8 Espada, eventyally winning the battle after a few more days. She stood ther panting as he disappeared in a wisp of particles. It was then that she was approached by Cross who was clapping as he approached. Cross had advised her that he had been watching her battle with the number 8 Espada and thought that she had fought very hard. He told her that since she had beaten the current number 8 that she could take over the position if she wanted. Feeling very tired from her long battle she refused his offer, cursed him out for even approaching her, and went to her room to rest.

It was a few days later when Cross approached her again. He made sure that that Manda was fully rested and in a better mood before he did. He walked over to her and began to talk about her becomming the new number 8 Espada. He once again told her of how he had watched the whole battle that she and the former number 8 Espada had and how well she had done. He congradulated her and once again offered to have her to take over the number 8 position. She had known Cross for a while, mainly since the day she had come to Los Noches. He was one of the first Espada's she had come across before she meet the number 8. She trusted him but was not fully sure she wanted to take the position.

It was then that Manda was approached by the other fraccion of the former number 8. They were mad at her for what she had done. Manda had stopped walking and talking to Cross to listen to what they had to say. They advsied her of all thier grivences, all there fustrations, and all their arguements about the situation. She then simply turned to them and spoke her mind. "He was upset because one of you decided that they didn't want to live after an arguement that she had with me. She attacked me and I defended myself. It was not my choice to kill his favorite fraccion. As for him, he and I had not been getting along for quite some time as you know. We had a war of words that turned into a giant and all out fight. Am I proud of that? No. Am I stronger for it? Yes. If you want to argue the point then please take it up with me. I am the new number 8 Espada and if you have any problems with that you can answer to me or Cross. It was Cross who offered me the spot." she said, pointing to Cross as she spoke that last part.

They all became quiet and left Manda alone at that point, at least at first. Soon after Manda got her number she started to take full contol of the fraccion that were under the former number 8. Most of them, at that point, rebelled. She took them out easily and soon had no fraccion of her own. Manda seemed to prefer it that way. She didn't want anyone to get in her way and she didn't trust anyone enough to let them get that close to her. She remains this way even today, only working with other Espadas as she sees the need to.
Side Notes: Most history is based off her being Espada 8. Can change to fit where she is now. I also don’t have a Segunda for her since she’s never been powerful enough to have one. I hope to create one later if needed.
RP Sample:
It seemed to be the typical morning for Hikaru. He woke up and followed the same routine as he always did. He'd get up, wash, and get dressed. All seemed well in his life. This was about to change, however.

Hikaru had finished up his breakfast and went out to the sparing area where he'd be sparing with his Captain and Vice Captain as was his usual routine. His Captain, however, had an assignment for him.

Hikaru, just the person I wanted to see. I've got an assignment for you. I don't know how long it will last but you must report to me weekly on the status of your mission.

But I've never been given a mission before. Why start now?

I've been under pressure to give you a mission. I feel this one may be very easy for you and, should certain things happen, things will be easy to explain and be taken care off. Are you ready for the details of this mission?

Yes Captain. I'll do my best to complete the mission with no incidents.

There have been reported incidents in the Roukongi of hollow attacks centered in one area. You are to go to that area and see if this truly is a hollow, or something else. If it is a hollow you are to take it out at once. If not, see what you can do. There have been rumors that the hollow is actually a person who changes to a hollow. This is why I selected you for this mission. You and your hollow powers can help me out if this is a person.

Yes sir Captain sir. I won't let you down and will work to bring everything back under control.

With that being said Hikaru had returned to his room. He gathered everything he thought he would need for this mission and took off. The Captain of Division 5 had given Hikaru a packet of information before leaving to his room. Inside the packet was a map showing the location of where the attacks have been taking place. Hikaru became a bit excited. His parents had a home not far away. He felt this would be the best place to start off and would make this his base of operations till the mission was finished. Once he had everything he may need he took off. It was mid-day by the time he reached his house.

As Hikaru walked in he realized just how dusty the place was. He'd not been there in quiet sometime. The house was a beautiful Victorian home that had 5 bedrooms and 3 bathrooms. It had one large kitchen with a dinning area, a den, and a living room. In the back was a spacious porch with a swinging chair on it. The house overlooked a beautiful lake off in the distance. Since the house was rather dusty Hikaru took a bit of time to clean up a bit. He then headed out to look for this person they called a hollow.

Hikaru walked through the Rukongi area where the map had shown the hollow had shown up. He was about to give up on his search for the day when he heard people yelling something about a hollow. He ran towards the direction that the people were running away from. He knew this must be what he was after. Upon arriving he saw what looked to be a hollow, but it seemed like it was human as well. The hollow standing before him looked human in nature, but was also dragon like. She had a long tail that resembles a dragon’s tail. On her hands and feet where claws for scratching. Her body was covered in blue scales from head to foot. Her face seemed dragon like as well. She had the snout of a dragon, her ears where on top of her head rather than where they normally would be, and her eyes were yellow with slits down the middle. Hikaru walked up to the hollow/human and attempted to speak with it, thinking that he'd try to calm her down first. It only threw him against the wall. He quickly recovered and drew his zanpakuto. He then charged in, attempting to hit it with his sword. She blocked and was about to swipe at him with her clawed hand. Hikaru ducked and, when he stood back up, delivered a swift but hard kick to her mid-section. This seemed to have done the trick since it did knock her out. Once she was knocked out she reverted back to normal, but naked. Felling it best not to leave her here as she was, Hikaru picked her up and took her back to his house.

It was a few hours later when the girl finally woke up. Hikaru was by her side. He had so many questions, and was sure she had many questions herself. He first made sure she was comfortable and was not thirsty. After that, he began to ask her some questions.

Welcome to my home. My name is Hikaru Shibata. I found you in need of some assistance and brought you here. What is your name?

Mizuko Ichikawa. Why are you helping me?

Becaue you needed help Mizuko. How long have you been able to do what is was I saw you do?

I don't really know what your talking about. All I know is that one minute I'm getting really upset and the next thing I know, I wake up with a small headache and no memory of what happened to me.

I see. Maybe I can help you with that, if that is alright with you. I can help you to where you won't blank out any more. I'll even try to see if I can cure you.

That would be wonderful. Thank you Hikaru.

From that day on Hikaru helped Mizuko to be better at controlling her other side. Eventually, due to her lack of control, Hikaru and Captain Aizen locked the hollow side away, wiping out some of Mizuko's memories in the process. This is why Mizuko actually thinks she is newer to the Soul Society than she really is.

(I know I keep using the same one over and over, but I’m to lazy to type up a new one and this one is good enough imo)



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on Thu Dec 01, 2016 9:57 am

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on Tue Jan 10, 2017 5:25 am

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3rd Division
3rd Division
|-she is strong against Lightning and Water attacks and can sometimes absorb those attacks altogether.-|

Needs clearly defined limits. Vague is bad.

|-Boosts:-|

x2, x3, x4? words are nice but definite amounts are easier to moderate. As ress the max is x3. but since you don't "currently" have Segunda you could probably get away with x4. To be fixed when you DO get your segunda which would auto have x4 boosts. Up to you.


|-Aqua Dragon Claw-|

I assume these hurt like a blade or a knife would? If so please just say so in the power. If this is meant to be "Stronger" then you'll have to state it as well..though if it's too strong we can't approved it as a spammable move.

|-Dragon's Fury-|

You state this is "her final" and it has a super high CD. That is fine. But it doesn't have a comparable power. How strong IS this? If it is your "Final move" like you say it can be as strong as three and a half cero oscuras or two forbidden kidou Whichever you decide to use wording wise it's the same power.

|-Aqua Barrage-|

This too needs a "damage" comparison. The easiest one I can think of that would be approved is that of Bala.

|-Lightning Tsunami-|

This attack covers an area of 50 yards. That's fine and good but.... Is it 40 yards wide and 10 yards tall?  50 yards wide and 50 yards tall? is it one yard tall and 49 yards wide? With it being a "wave attack" the parameters are important. I would also state somewhere that the water hits with the force of a cannonball.

|-Lightning Sniper-|

This attack is how strong? How fast? I don't know what 100 points of reaitsu control is because that system doesn't exist here. I would just say the arrow can travel 100 yards. Which is actually very good range for a "bow and arrow".

|-Flash bang-|

Banned Abilities
7. Obstruction of the senses.

I would make this reduce vision and hearing by half. MAYBE (As I will have to confer with Jeff and Noz on this) But I cannot approve an ability that lasts 2 posts and makes it easier than dirt to assassin kill the victim.

|-Electric Aqua Illusion-|

With this being 25% per a single clone at a time. You do not need it to be "once per thread" just have it be like once per two posts and only one at a time.

|-Lightning Dragon Tornado-|

How strong is this if it connects? How strong is just the bolts of lightning if the vortex misses?

|-Lightning Barrage-|

How strong are these slashes? Just normal slash strength with lightning instead of metal?

|-Repentina Tormenta-|

If this is usable while sealed then it needs to be your 1 Personal Ability or one of your 4 General Techniques.

|-and to someone in a lower tier than Manada they can be cut by the sharpness of the scales on her skin and back-|

Tier has no relevance here and needs to have it's mention removed. You are either cutting them or you aren't. Other people have heirro and heirro-similar abilities like your scales. There is no feasible way to say your tier effects the cutting power of your sharp scales without making it a power. Which it isn't because it's in the appearance section.

|-Her tail can call forth lighting or send out water but is very limited to how much can be sent out-|

Being limited is fine but this is an ability not an appearance and thus should not be in appearance. Make it a power or have it removed.

|-The mask does not hinder her hearing at all, but rather, it enhances it slightly.-|

This is again a boost and not an appearance. This should be mentioned elsewhere other than appearance. It's not a big deal and you can easily keep this. But it does not belong in the "Appearance" section anywhere.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

When/If you get Segunda.. You will need to limit the number of powers you give to it. You have loads of powers as is and it's almost too many to be approved in my eyes.

Also as a second note. You have loads of powers with a "Charge" time. Many of these do not warrant having that and could be "instant use" without any problems. You may want to fix that. Or you'll be "charging" alot while dodging people who just try to beat the hell out of you.


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