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#1 Okami Shiba - Repost and Regrade! on Wed Sep 02, 2015 5:19 am





THE VISORED APPLICATION



Name: Okami Shiba
Age: 25
True Age: 1,570
Sex: Male
Personality: Okami is typically relaxed and easy-going, quickly forgiving those who wrong him. This is not because he is too trusting, however. He is an amazing judge of character, and can often tell when someone is lying without even monitoring for changes in reiatsu. When meeting new people Okami can seem a bit shy, but he really tries hard to force himself out of his comfort area. This, however, occasionally results in anxiety attacks, which really doesn’t help at all. He doesn’t have many friends, but he would die to protect those few he has. Whenever he’s around them, he can truly let his guard down, which is a rare thing for him.

While he does enjoy a good fight, Okami is not one to waste time extending them. He dispatches his enemies quickly and hates long, drawn out battles. He has much respect for most of his opponents, and honors their valor before killing them so that they know he harbors no ill will. When a loved one is at risk or killed, however, Okami is utterly merciless and sadistic. While fighting against someone on an equal level, he will often escalate his reiatsu as the fight dictates so that he doesn’t exhaust himself, as not even he can withstand the full force of his own power. However, if an opponent is stronger than him, Okami will put his full force into his opening blows to harry his enemy’s advance and prevent them from using their own techniques.

Okami, while he does have close friends, can sometimes lock himself in his quarters for hours at a time in an attempt to be alone. The loneliness that engulfs him is a result of his sense of duty and the self-sacrifices he makes for his loved ones. This misery he feels is all-consuming and he blames himself for anything and everything that happens to them. He is reluctant to break his code of honor even if ordered to do so.

When around women, the esteemed Shiba Clan Head changes slightly. His aloof behavior becomes even more pronounced, and his judgment tends to err more often. He is a severe romantic, and will often attempt to woo those that catch his eye. He is undeniably straight, however, and this never wavers. Okami's ideal woman varies, as he views each as a unique work of art, valued in their own way. Tsukiakari Shojo comes first in his mind, as she is the embodiment of his "soulmate", as he views it, and if she disapproves of his actions or his choice in companions, he will immediately rectify this slight against her.

His training regimen is strict, involving both physical and emotional strengthening. Okami spends several hours each day on swordplay, perfecting his kata and assisting his already peerless skill. After this, he spends another hour in Jinzen, speaking to and learning from Tsukiakari Shojo herself. This routine hasn't changed once since his days in the Academy, as he is very, very adverse to change. He will fight it with all his might, given the opportunity.



CHARACTER APPEARANCE



Height: 5'10"
Weight: 155Lbs
Physical Traits:
Appearance:





FIGHTING STYLE




General Fighting Style: Okami relies heavily on Zanjutsu and his Zanpakuto's unique abilities, but has a working knowledge of high-level Kidou to raw from as well. He tends to use his experience and creativity to his advantage in combat, often coming across as a berserker due to his tendency to never let up until he is physically incapable of doing so.

Strengths:

Zanjutsu: Okami is a natural in swordsmanship, and the fact that he's trained in it since he was a child. His skill is top-notch, and there really isn't any Shinigami of his caliber that could match him in this aspect.

Zanpakuto: Okami's Zanpakuto, Tsukiakari Shojo, is a legend among Shinigami and Hollows. She boasts the highest attack power of any blade, and in her Bankai Okami has to take special precautions in order to protect those around him. After being released, her legendary reiatsu begins to affect an area about the size of the Seireitei, slowly crushing any nonliving matter and dissolving the reishi that holds it together. After 4 posts, the area might be unrecognizable to anyone who wasn't there to begin with.

Reiatsu: Okami's reiatsu is spectacular for someone of his caliber due to his parentage, and only goes up with his further releases.

Reiryoku: Okami's level of reiryoku is completely disproportionate to his reiatsu, even with it being as high as it is, due to having to supply his Zanpakuto with enough energy to just release, let alone be used in combat.

Weaknesses:

Durability: Okami's ability to take damage in a fight suffers from his Zanpakuto's abilities, due to his physical health being converted to raw power.

Endurance: Due to the massive amount of reiryoku that he burns through in the average fight, Okami is only capable of fighting for two and a half pages after his initial release before having to seal his blade once more.

Sensing: For lack of a better term, Okami's ability to sense other spiritual beings is complete and utter shit. If you're within about 50 feet, he can figure out which direction you're in, but other than that he's pretty easy to sneak up on.





ZANPAKUTO




Sealed Appearance: In her sealed state, Okami’s Zanpakuto takes the appearance of a 6’ nodachi with a blade 2” wide and ½” thick that has almost no curve. The hilt is wrapped in royal blue silk, and all of the embellishments are done in platinum, with gold accents. Her sheath is a metallic cobalt blue with the same wrapping around the braided cord that acts as a sword strap, and has seven golden plates inscribed with petals along the entire length.




SHIKAI




Call Out Command: Eclipse, Tsukiakari Shojo! (Moonlit Virgin)
Appearance: Once released, Tsukiakari Shojo’s tsuba thins and lengthens, attaching on either end to a half-spiral that curls back from about 4 inches up the back of the blade to rest pointed slightly forward. The entire sword turns platinum, with white leather wrapping the hilt. The pommel sharpens, turning into a downturned and bladed fang-like spike. A chain, its color matching the rest of the sword, extends two feet from the pommel, interwoven with pure white silk that flows a further 3 feet from that.

Zanpakuto Spirit Information:
Spirit Appearance: Tsukiakari Shojo appears as a teenage girl, somewhere between 16 and 19, with soft locks of silver hair that frames her face. She seems endowed with a beauty unmatched, one that drives viewers to swear their undying allegiance without thinking. Her figure is both curvaceous and slim, one that many models would kill for. A pair of glacial rifts cut through the pale icicles of her eyelashes, orbs of ice that cut through the soul. She appears before viewers clad only in a veil of steam, which solidifies into a white toga when she is materialized outside of Okami’s Inner World.
Spirit Personality: Tsukiakari Shojo cares about Okami and worries for him almost to the point where one might think they were lovers. To an extent, they would be correct. She is a kind and sweet girl, but she feels like Okami’s pain is her fault, no matter what happened to hurt him. She can almost be fickle at times, seeming cold and distant even to Okami, because she is angry at herself.  To others, however, she hardly ever shows her loving, caring smile, leaving them ignorant of the beauty of her heart and lusting after the beauty of her flesh.
Inner World: Okami’s Inner World resembles a Roman Bathhouse lying open to a Full Moon, the water steaming and refreshing as one looks to the stars spattered across the black curtain of sky, lost in thought. The pillars are made of rose quartz, with white marble underfoot. Towels lay neatly stacked on a mahogany shelf nearby, and a dozen pairs of slippers line up underneath in cubbyholes. The steam swirls around the room, spiraling lazily into the night.

Abilities:

Name: Phase 1: Waxing Crescent
Effect: Reiatsu molds itself around Tsukiakari Shojo, surrounding the entire sword with a light reminiscent of an oversized claymore. This stance devotes all of the user’s power to offense, sacrificing the usual addition to your physical durability granted by Shikai in order to hit harder, faster, and have more reiatsu. (x2.5 to Strength, Speed, and Reiatsu)

Name: Phase 2: Full Moon
Effect: The chain and silk dangling from the hilt of the sword wraps around the user’s sword arm to allow the energy enveloping Tsukiakari Shojo during Waxing Crescent to spread, forming into an armored mantle with rough, short wings spreading out from between the user’s shoulder blades. This ability enhances the effect of Waxing Crescent by using 40% of the reishi that makes up his skeletal structure to enhance his reiatsu output and raw muscle density, sacrificing even more of his physical well-being for the sake of power. Full Moon is not to be taken lightly, as any damage sustained while using it is 1.5x what it would normally be. (x3 to Strength, Speed, and Reiatsu, x0.75 to Durability)

Technique Name: Shingetsu Namida
Technique Description: Tsukiakari Shojo devours the reiatsu of her wielder and condenses it, imbuing the blade of the sword with an overcharged veil of raw moonlight. This energy can then be released from the point of the sword in a large, slashing blast, or it can be released along the edge of the blade to enhance a physical blow. This technique takes 1 post to charge, and has a 5 post cool-down. Think Getsuga Tensho.

Technique Name: Yurei no Getsuga
Technique Description: By bending moonlight using half of his reiatsu, Okami can create 2 spirit wolves that each contains 25% of his power. These wolves will assist him in combat, attacking the opponent or blocking an attack meant for him. They are controlled by Tsukiakari Shojo herself, and are extensions of Okami’s will. This ability takes 3 posts to charge, lasts for 5 posts, then has a 10 post cooldown. Each wolf can block one attack, or they may attack once. Their attacks act as Shingetsu Namida, and they disperse upon completing either action. Okami’s is fatigued for 1 post after using this technique and is at 50% for the duration, due to the reiatsu sacrificed to create the wolves.

Technique Name: Moonlight Manipulation
Technique Description: Using this technique, Okami can manipulate reishi as long as it is touched by moonlight. This technique isn't quite as powerful as a Quincy's Reishi Domination, but it still grants a tactical advantage, as the moonlight given off by his Shikai expands outward in a 15 meter radius, allowing him to control any atmospheric spirit particles to his whim. They can strike like swords, or shield him form harm. Whether attacking or defending, Okami can harden it to the point of Zanpakuto steel, making any attacks that could potentially break a Shinigami's blade able to force their way through, making attacks above Hado #50 effective. For clarity's sake, this ONLY affects atmospheric and inanimate reishi. Living reishi, such as that making up the body of a spiritual being, is incapable of being controlled. This technique may be used instantly, and has a one post cooldown before he can create another effect.

Technique Name: Ikiryo no Hansha
Technique Description: Using this technique, Tsukiakari Shojo moulds moonlight to create a copy, or “reflection”, of a specific person or thing. To use this technique, Okami turns his Zanpakuto vertically with the point facing down while the chain and ribbon form a three-quarter circle around the blade. Stating what he creates clearly, a flash of light forms around the edge of the circle, then spreads to the blade before the clone springs forth. These copies have only a slightly tangible form, almost shell-like, and dissipate upon being struck. They cannot attack, and may only preform a simple action of movement and noise if Okami states each respectively. This technique can be used instantly, and has three charges. Each charge takes 2 posts to cool down before he can use the ability again. If these reflections come within 1 meter of an opponent stronger than Okami, then it becomes intangible and will dissipate like mist on the wind.

Boosts: See Above (Phases)






BANKAI






New Name: Tsukiakari Tenshi (Moonlit Angel)
Appearance: To unleash his Bankai, Okami places the bladed curl attached to the tsuba of Tsukiakari Shojo upon his neck and slashes. Calling out the command phrase “Bankai…”, a vicious, towering hurricane of silver reiatsu forms around him, breaking as Okami spreads the wings that make up the core of the sphere enveloping him. After this, he concludes the command phrase with a name, “…Tsukiakari Tenshi.”

Tsukiakari Tenshi’s hilt binds Okami’s fist in a gauntlet the same shade of brilliant platinum as the blade, fusing the Zanpakuto to her Shinigami. The chain formerly attached to the pommel wraps around his sword arm, connecting his fist to a now-solid armored mantle covering both of Okami’s shoulders. The silk ribbon is gone, fusing into a spiral patterned tattoo down the Shinigami’s left arm, shrouding his hand with a silvery flame of pure reiryoku. Large wings made of this same reiryoku flow from between his shoulder blades, mirroring the amount of reiatsu Okami has left at his disposal. His Shihakusho is stained by his release, the kosode and hakama turning white while his gi and obi become black as pitch. This reversal of colors reverts back once Bankai has ended.

Abilities:

Ability Name: Saigo no Dankai: Gesshoku (End Phase: Lunar Eclipse)
Ability Description: This ability takes effect the moment Okami activates his Bankai. Tsukiakari Tenshi draws every drop of reiatsu from his blood, sacrificing any hope of defense. In return, his offensive abilities attain their peak and he gains the ability to control any atmospheric reishi, as long as moonlight touches it. His Shikai techniques require half as much time to charge or cool down, and are fired from his left hand, while techniques granted by Bankai are fired from his right. The additional bonuses to durability from using Bankai is converted to his offensive capabilities, along with his natural defenses. The result is that Okami takes twice the normal amount of damage when struck, his offensive capabilities are multiplied by a factor of four instead of the normal three. This includes his physical strength, his speed, and his reiatsu output. Okami is incapable of maintaining this ability for too long, reverting Tsukiakari Tenshi back to his sealed Zanpakuto. He must then stay at that stage for 5 posts before he may activate his Shikai again. The amount of time left in this state is determined by the number of stars left in Ribenji Hoshi.

Technique Name: Tsuin Ten no Ryū (Dragon of Twin Heavens)
Technique Description: Okami draws upon all of the power and reishi available to him to create a massive Tien Lung out of moonlight. The dragon’s movement mirrors that of Tsukiakari Tenshi, and it is controlled by Okami through his will. Its breath fires in a line extending 50 meters, and acts as Shingetsu Namida (Bankai Version) for purposes of damage, while bites act as its Shikai variant. It can take 4 actions, attacking or defending, before dissipating. Tsuin Ten no Ryū requires 4 posts to charge, and requires 12 posts to cool down.

Technique Name: Shingetsu Namida (Bankai Version)
Technique Description: This technique is an advanced form of the counterpart used in Okami’s Shikai state, requiring the user to focus heavier reiatsu into the blade and grind it while it condenses, resulting in a much finer grade of moonlight that may be collected for the attack. Thus, the attack can be molded into various forms, and silvery flames of astral power can be seen flickering about both the blast and Tsukiakari Tenshi as it charges. This attack requires 1 post to charge, and 3 posts to cool down before it may be used again.

Technique Name: Ribenji Hoshi (Fallen Stars)
Technique Description: Okami creates these crystalline stars upon entering his Bankai state. There are eight in total, each one made up of 4 fragmented points, and are responsible for the collection and infusion of reishi to be used in his various techniques, and allow him to manipulate it at will. They reflect the moonlight given off from Okami’s Bankai, and also gather natural light if available. Every post and whenever a Bankai technique is used, one of these stars shatters. This displays how much time Okami has left during Saigo no Dankai: Gesshoku.

Technique Name: Fukyōwokau (Fall from Grace)
Technique Description: Using this technique, Okami turns his Ribenji Hoshi into his ultimate weapon as a last resort. Every star Okami has left when this technique is used shatters along with his wings, with the reishi and reiatsu gathered forming into loose feathers falling to the earth in an area half a mile wide with him at the epicenter. Using this ability casts off Okami's reiatsu completely, maxing out his Strength, Speed, and Durability at x6 while plummeting his reiatsu and reiryoku to zero for a period of three posts. After this technique ends, Okami is rendered unable to fight for the rest of the thread, and his sealed Zanpakuto appears nearby.

Boosts: x3 to Strength, Speed, and Reiatsu.







MASK







Appearance: Jagged swords angle back from the temples, forward, then inward along the field of vision as a mouthless mask is framed to Okami’s skull. Angular eyeholes stand defiant as scarlet markings streak down to the chin as if crying blood. The mask is donned by placing one’s hand under the eye, and wiping across in a fashion similar to wiping away tears.

Abilities: Enhanced Strength, Speed, and Reiatsu.

Hollow Powers: Cero, Bala, Gran Rey Cero, Cero Oscuras.







FULL VIZARD FORM







Appearance: Okami's Full Hollow Form reflects the appearance of his Inner Hollow's fusion with his Zanpakuto Spirit. Visually similar to his Bankai state, the first thing one would notice would be the lack of wings and Ribenji Hoshi, while the second would be that his blade is off-colored, a bone white instead of it's normal platinum, and his clothing retains their original colors. A single horn stretches from his hair along the left side of his skull, while a black tear-track and Hollow eye appear on the same side. His pauldron on the left side is gone completely, as is the tattoo, while the one on the right is cracked and made of the same bone material as the horn and blade, with the chain attaching it to the gauntlet below still intact.

Abilities:

Megumi Kara Ochiru (Fall from Grace) - The true form of Okami's final technique, what he would have attained had he still been a Shinigami and learned Toukai. This ability discards all of Okami's reiatsu and converts it to raw physical power. Unlike the imperfect variant, however, it isn't temporary, and doesn't have the same drawbacks. This ability takes effect immediately upon release, and shifts his boosts to x6 to Strength, Speed, and Durability, with x0 to Reiatsu and Reiryoku.

Reiatsu Resistance - While in this form, Okami is virtually immune to the reiatsu output of others, due to having cast his own aside. This also allows for him to brush off the damage from one energy-based attack or Kido per post, up to Hado #65. Up to Hado #80 can have their damage reduced by 75% every two posts, and he can cancel out 50% of the damage of one Forbidden Kido-level attack every three posts.

Boosts: x4 to Strength, Speed, and Durability.







BACK-DROP







Background:

-Born to Kitsune Shiba, then Head of the Shiba Clan Main Family and Lieutenant of the First Division, and the late Captain-Commander Akira Tanaka (Unknown as of now, future plot abounds).
-Member and Head of the Shiba Clan.
-Set record for Fastest Graduation from Shin'o Academy at 8 months at age 110.
-Spent time in the Onmitsukido helping to clean up after the Second Great War before becoming Third Seat of the First Division at age 150.
-Achieved Bankai at 210, refusing to take the Lieutenant or Captain's Test multiple times.
-Is present for the assassination of Grainne Xios, being one of the only witnesses and killing one of the Quincies present.
-During the Third Great War, is credited with the deaths of nearly two hundred Quincy combatants, and is the recipient of no less than a dozen Medals of Honor, and around 60 to 70 other medals of various kinds, making him likely the most distinguished Seated Officer in the history of the Gotei 13, even when one includes the Captains and Lieutenants.
-Earned the right to wear a First Division Haori in the final battle of the Third Great War, defending Captain-Commander Shinu Mazi after his battle with the leader of the Quincy for more than half a day before they were able to be retrieved from the battlefield.
-Over the next several years, was confirmed to have killed at least 3 Vasto Lordes, several dozen varied Adjuchas and Gillian-Class Menos Grande, along with twenty-some Arrancar during the resurgence that ended with the death of Captain-Commander Mazi.
-Is a veteran of the first encounter with Sinners.

CLASSIFIED

-Participated in the earliest conflicts with the Vizard, until it was revealed that he was the second to be afflicted after Ika Mazi, and the last of the initial Vizard to fully Hollowfy 250 years ago, just after watching Akihiko Iyou get murdered by Ika himself after having been incapacitated and rendered unable to assist his Captain. Needless to say, the rage was palpable when he was charged with treason.
-In the subsequent flight from the Seireitei a week later, killed the Captains of the Sixth and Eighth Divisions, and incapacitated several Lieutenants.
-Initially marked Kill On Sight, but in consideration to over a millennia of service had the charges of treason dropped to Exile Until Proven Innocent.

Side Notes: Took the opportunity of tuning my Bankai and such to use the new template.
RP Sample: This be Graven.




Last edited by Graven Fel on Sun Mar 26, 2017 7:01 am; edited 25 times in total

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#2 Re: Okami Shiba - Repost and Regrade! on Wed Sep 02, 2015 7:47 pm

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Appearance: 2-3+
Personality: 3+
History: 10+
RP sample: 5+

Overall quality: has few spelling and grammer mistakes and is decent through the piece, although unfortunately, I feel that the appearance and personality section are letting it down from being something more then a tier 3-3

Ready for approval: not yet

Graven wrote:Okami’s powers are primarily focused on fast, hard hitting melee combat, and his mask amplifies these aspects. As a Shinigami his skill in swordplay is nearly peerless, but as a Visored his skill very nearly transcends to the impossible as he draws upon Fell’s skill as well. The mask itself, like his Shikai, has absolutely no defensive capabilities, and instead increase his offensive capabilities by +2 FAR.

this is fine, but would like this to be +1 offensive FAR instead of two since your taking the AR+1 bonus from your hollow mask into purely offensive attack

besides that, to get a higher tier, I would like to see more depth put into Okami's appearance and personality as these are the parts letting you down here ^^;

#3 Re: Okami Shiba - Repost and Regrade! on Wed Sep 02, 2015 8:38 pm

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Appearance: 3+
Personality: 4+
History: 10+
RP sample: 5+

Overall quality: same as previous grading

Ready for approval: ...*unzips pants*...hurr ok, edits were made and/or explained better, I'll give this a tier 3-2 if Graven can take this cookie :3 XD

#4 Re: Okami Shiba - Repost and Regrade! on Wed Sep 02, 2015 10:02 pm

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Alright.  I've had a chance to look this app over.  tbh, The only changes I see made are a bit more personality, a name change, and a link to a second rp sample, which, tbh, is not needed really.  This is after looking at this one and the other one side by side.  After this review I would say i have to agree with Fauna and rate this a 3-2.  If you wish for a higher tier then try one or more of the following:  Flush out appearance, Flush out personality, add a new attack or two, flush out history, use the new template.  I also wish to note here that this is your only remake.  If you wish we can unlock your old app for you to fix a few things on it for the same tier.  I leave this up to you.

#5 Re: Okami Shiba - Repost and Regrade! on Thu Sep 03, 2015 3:26 am

^Bump^ I made some improvements to the initial app as requested. Hoping for a 3-1!

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#6 Re: Okami Shiba - Repost and Regrade! on Fri Sep 04, 2015 2:45 am

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You did do as I asked and added a bit.  I'm still borderline but I'll grant  you the request this one time since i know your a good rper.  Just as a reminder, no more remakes.  you'll need to earn your tier ups from now on.

3-1

#7 Re: Okami Shiba - Repost and Regrade! on Fri Sep 04, 2015 4:21 am

Thank you, Manda-chan. This means a lot Smile

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#8 Re: Okami Shiba - Repost and Regrade! on Fri Sep 04, 2015 4:35 am

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meh, ok, I'll approve this at tier 3-1, but like Manda said, this will be the only time we'll give you this, but meh, what's a good grade between friends, so approving at tier 3-1 and locking

#9 Re: Okami Shiba - Repost and Regrade! on Mon Nov 07, 2016 2:32 am

Approved at.. 1-3.

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#10 Re: Okami Shiba - Repost and Regrade! on Thu Dec 22, 2016 12:59 am

Reapproved

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