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Bleach Story RPG

AU Bleach Roleplay Forum, where you can create your own RP character.


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D'gerik Blackheart (Re-joining and Re-applying!)

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#11Guest 

on Mon Aug 31, 2015 7:44 am

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Appearance: 3+
Personality: 3-4+
History: 10+
RP sample: 5+

Overall quality: nicely done, edits have been made and app looks much better and more in depth, allowing us to see more of D'gerik, but some minor edits are required but I give it a final grade, if edits are done, I will match Manda's and Graven's grade tier of tier 3-2

Ready for Approval: almost, just a few minor edits good

D'gerik wrote:Technique Effect Chart 2:

In his resurrección, D'gerik's Reiatsu is a hallucinogenic. The effect for the visions are as follows;

Opponent is Two+ Tiers Lower: The hallucinations caused by D'gerik's venom are incredibly realistic, to the point of being able to cause intense bodily harm, however are unable to kill.
Opponent is One Tier Lower: The hallucinations caused by D'gerik's venom are realistic, able to cause intense bodily harm, but not kill.
Opponent is Equal Tier: The hallucinations caused by D'gerik's venom are realistic, able to cause light injury and torture, but not kill.
Opponent is One Tier Higher: The hallucinations caused by D'gerik's venom are realistic, however any injuries they may cause would be minor. Instead, the visions will simply attempt to torture the target with his or her memories of regret.
Opponent is Two+ Tiers Lower: The visions are realistic, but an action such as a sword slicing through would only be felt as a pinch. They would instead rely solely on attempting to torture the target with his or her own memories of regret.

Any and all injuries caused to a target cannot be seen by others and are a result of the hallucinations. Should a hallucination cause dismemberment, the target will feel it as a result of the venom as if his posts have been sped up to meet that requirement. Those surrounding the victim will be unable to experience his pain or any pain caused by any hallucinations that are not their own.

firstly, I have a question since It's really confusing me; is this caused from the reiatsu/spiritual pressure you "inject" into your opponents via balas and your venom scythes technique or generally your reiatsu in general, if it's the former, then its fine, but if its the later, then this wouldn't affect someone two tiers above you as their naturally spiritual pressure can repell it, similar to how kenpachi's in the bleach anime/manga repelled Mayuri's bankai's poison as his natural spiritual pressure was great enough to repell it.

second thing is as far as I can tell, hallucinations are just that, hallucinations, they lack a physical form to attack, so how are they able to harm the target if they have no physically presense, regardless of how real they look. the only way I see that the hallucinations could hurt the target would be self inflicted without the target realizing they had cut themselves and thinking whoever they were seeing did it.

D'gerik wrote:Should a hallucination cause dismemberment, the target will feel it as a result of the venom as if his posts have been sped up to meet that requirement

this part about dismemberment should go really, it really should be up to the rper if they dismember themselves.

besides that, here's some free ideas for res techs you could try using:

-when D'gerik attacks with anyone of his scythes, whenever they come into contact with something like a building, they start producing the poison that slowly breaks down the material around it and anyone touching it will get poisoned if they try going near the scythes as well as using the poison to D'gerik's favor, creating small patches of poison, like landmines that poison anyone stepping on them.

-a extension of this is firing all scythes into the ground around a five meter distance from D'gerik and funneling his spiritual pressure into them, he starts turning the area around him into a poison swamp, the longer he does it, the more area the poison swamp covers the area (max area covered = maximum extension of D'gerik's longest extending scythe) and post count for each area up to max area, then cooldowns, depending on how far the swamp covers *use this tech for reference:
Spoiler:
Technique Name: Ketsueki rōtasu: Moeriku (Blood Lotus: Burning Land)
Technique Description: This technique is for Chi and her blood thirsty side of her zanpakuto spirit. The wielder impales their shikai's blade into the ground and by pouring in their spiritual pressure, starts to send the plasma flames to the surface, slowing burning up anything in the way of the flames, although the spread of the flames are slow, if left unchecked by her opponent, the flames will spread further out from around, from five meters to twenty meters, depending on the charge time, the wielder can scorch the land around her and even burn through clothes or barriers, although depending on the tier, it will take some time to break through the barrier. Total amount of charge time that the wielder can put into this technique is four posts and cool down is a minimum of two posts for the shortest charge to six posts for the longest charge. (One post charge: Five meters of burning land, Two posts charge: Ten meters of burning land, Three posts charge: Fifteen meters of burning land and Four posts charge: Twenty meters of burning land).

Technique Effect Chart:
*The effect chart is for damage, durability, or any other after effect of a technique. The damage/effect/etc will be based off of tiers.*
Opponent is Two+ Tiers Lower: If a target comes into contact with the flames, They'll take extreme third degree burns to any body parts that come into contact with the flames.
Opponent is One Tier Lower: If a target comes into contact with the flames, They'll take lower third degree burns to any body parts that come into contact with the flames.
Opponent is Equal Tier: If a target comes into contact with the flames, They'll take second degree burns to any body parts that come into contact with the flames.
Opponent is One Tier Higher: If a target comes into contact with the flames, They'll take lower second degree burns to any body parts that come into contact with the flames.
Opponent is Two+ Tiers Higher: If a target comes into contact with the flames, They'll only recieve first degree burns to any body parts that come into contact with the flames.
*

I know it's not poison related, but it's a similar tech where it's controlling the land around her. and both theses techniques are based on strategic placements and area control/denial (depending if your using them offensively or defensively) and these techs would provide D'gerik and therefore yourself to have a lot more options of both attacking, defending or playing smart, using various traps and other methods then simply hitting them with your swords and balas and hope they loose lol xD

but seriously, I think you would benefit from such techs, you don't have to make them, just saying, would give you a lot more opinions when it comes to battle rp Smile

on Mon Aug 31, 2015 8:53 pm

It was intended to be both. That being the case. I can add that only Bala and Venom Scythes can effect Two tiers or higher. I'll make some edits to ensure that it's as clear as possible.

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on Mon Aug 31, 2015 10:09 pm

Bump, final additions.

1) Requested edits complete.

2) Added:
Technique Name: **Bala; Venomous Mines
Technique Description:
Charge time: See Bala; Infinitas
Cooldown: 6 posts
D'gerik's Fires his Bala; Infinitas, but stops the Bala in midair and absorbed into the ground, freezing them and forming a thick minefield of Bala which detonate violently upon making contact.

Technique Effect Chart:

The effects of the mines are identical to being hit by his Bala. Therefore, see Bala; Infinitas and Venom Reiatsu

Notes:
**Bala; Venomous mines.
-D'gerik's bala are the same color as his reiatsu (Purple fused with Black). Therefore it is only logical to conclude that D'gerik's Reiatsu shroud when in his released state makes the Bala near him difficult to see.


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on Wed Sep 02, 2015 10:07 pm

All looks good and changes have been made.  This app is now approved for 3-2.  Locking and moving it.

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